Monday 29 November 2010

Chills and thrills

A record-breaking weekend in the wild and wacky world of the Premier League, where for the first time every team scored, and more goals were scored than ever before on a single weekend, with an average of over 4 goals a game. Strangely enough, the bottom team finally won, but so did the team directly above them, thus preventing any movement. Chelsea continued their patchy form, and Manchester United finally played well; exquisitely well, in hitting Blackburn for seven, eliminating Chelsea’s goal difference advantage in one fell swoop and usurping top spot.

Nowhere else to start but Old Trafford, where Wayne Rooney finally started; paired with off-the-boil Dimitar Berbatov, who hadn’t scored a league goal since the Liverpool hat-trick. Fergie had said before the game that it was his own fault for switching Berbatov’s strike partners around too much. The Bulgarian seems to share a natural affinity with Rooney, and nowhere has he displayed it better than against Blackburn. Big Sam was quick out with the excuses, but Rovers were missing seven players through injury, an ironic number as it would turn out. From Blackburn’s kick-off, United won the ball. Twenty passes, a few tackles and just over a minute later, Nani had swung the ball in for Rooney to flick on and Berbatov to stab in from close range. Anderson and Carrick looked reborn in the midfield engine room, and all of United’s players were passing quickly, assuredly, and purposefully. A beautiful move just before the half-hour culminated in Rooney exchanging passes with the advancing Park Ji-Sung, who burst onto the return to dink over Paul Robinson. A magnificently braindead backpass from Chimbonda set Berbatov clear in yards of space, and the Bulgarian made the most of his endless time to drill past Robinson for 3-0 before half-time. Berbatov was feeling robbed just before the break, when he weaved in between three defenders, only to be felled under the dubious challenge of Michel Salgado, but just after half-time the Bulgarian scored a goal of breathtaking determination and quality. A big criticism of his game is his perceived lack of tracking back, but the Bulgarian picked the ball up on the edge of his own box, before a lovely exchange on the flank with Patrice Evra. When Berbatov received the ball back in the middle of midfield, he spread the ball wide to Nani, who bore down on the Rovers defence before squaring for the emerging Berbatov, who finished the move he started consummately. A minute later Nani ended up in a similar position, but this time cut inside the flimsy Chimbonda before whipping the ball into the corner of Robinson’s net. Nani again broke through, and made for the byline, only deciding to square to the unmarked Rooney when it was too late; Robinson blocking his effort. Wave after wave of red shirts were crashing against the shores of Rovers’ defence, and it was 6-0 when Berbatov cashed in from a Samba attempted tackle that went wrong. The final United goal came in the 69th minute, when Anderson penetrated into the heart of Blackburn’s defence, before finding Berbatov, who attempted a cross that was blocked but came straight back to him, before sliding the ball in from a tight angle. The final twenty minutes saw United slacken off somewhat, and Blackburn got a consolation when Christopher Samba sent a looping header against the top of the crossbar, before dispatching a header from a carbon-copy position in the same passage of play. Berbatov could have had six to himself, but Robinson pulled off a great reflex save in the dying stages from the Bulgarian’s close-range header.

After this statement of intent, Chelsea were under pressure. Still without Lampard, Terry, Essien and Wilkins, they kicked off with Malouda, Kalou, Drogba and Anelka all playing in an ambitious line-up. Newcastle, much better away than at home, were missing midfield enforcers Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan, and handed a slim-line Sol Campbell his Newcastle full debut at centre-back. The Toon began brightly, with a Danny Guthrie free-kick flicked towards goal by a Chelsea head, parried by an alert Petr Cech, and volleyed wide by Shola Ameobi. Chelsea had not shaken off their malaise on six minutes when the perennially unreliable Jon Obi-Mikel gave the ball away not once but twice, leading to Alex blundering massively by poking the ball away from the advancing Cech, leaving the alert Andy Carroll to scamper around the goalkeeper and help the ball over the line. Most of the rest of the half saw Chelsea struggle to overturn the arrears, with Drogba hitting the side netting, Cashley Cole hitting the deck, and Jose Enrique clearing off the line from an Alex header. Chelsea finally blew down the door on half-time, when a lovely Malouda flick found Kalou, who cantered through, cut outside Campbell and fired in a shot that was heavily deflected on its way in. The second half saw Cashley make a spectacular goal-line clearance from a Routledge blockbuster, after Cech had not covered himself in glory, while Drogba felt aggrieved to have his fine turn and finish in off the post denied for a handball. Chelsea’s major problem at the moment was best encapsulated in a typical Salomon Kalou moment, when the Ivorian managed to bundle through numerous challenges and somehow past the goalkeeper, only to stab wide of an open net from three yards by shooting with his wrong foot.

Arsenal made up ground on Chelsea with a hard-fought and goal-laden victory at Villa Park; a happy hunting ground for the Gunners since the late 90s. Arsenal made the early running, and Collins had to help out Friedel to clear a Chamakh shot off the goal line. Tomas Rosicky and Ashley Young were both guilty of wasteful finishing before the Gunners took the lead on 38 minutes, when two Villa players both missed a long ball, and Arshavin galloped into acres of space, before cutting outside Dunne and firing in at the far post through Collins’ legs. The goal-scorer then set up Samir Nasri, who rounded Friedel before bizarrely missing the gaping net. Friedel then pulled off a stunning reflex stop from a Chamakh header, but Frenchman Nasri made amends for his howler by making it 2-0 on the stroke of half-time; volleying a deep corner into the net with the aid of a nick off Luke Young. Ex-Gunners stalwart Robert Pires didn’t make the second half, but Villa made a game of it soon after the break, when youngster Ciaran Clark took a poor clearance on the edge of Arsenal’s ‘18’ down on his chest and thumped a shot into the roof of the net, though replays show an offside John Carew standing directly in Lukasz Fabianski’s eyeline the whole time. Within four minutes, hopes of a Villa comeback were extinguished, when a crafty through-ball from Tomas Rosicky saw Marouane Chamakh beat carthorse Richard Dunne for pace and stab past the advancing Friedel. To Villa’s credit, they were not beaten, and Ciaran Clark was gutted to hit the side netting when the net should have been bulging, though he scored again on 70 minutes, rising perfectly to guide a lofted ball over Clichy and in via the underside of the crossbar. The last twenty minutes saw Villa press for an unlikely equaliser, but their naivety cost them when Arsenal pounced, launching a quick counter-attack where Chamakh laid back to Denilson, whose shot was only deflected back to Chamakh, who lobbed the ball deftly to the back post, where Jack Wilshere was waiting with a diving header to kill the game once and for all.

Wolverhampton Wanderers finally gave their fans something substantial to cheer about, by mounting a late comeback to see off a Sunderland team shorn of their first choice centre-backs, even if one of those was Titus Bramble. Kevin Doyle did what he does best when he missed an absolute sitter, but Wolves thought they had taken the lead through Richard Stearman, only to have his close-range effort denied by the linesman. Kieran Richardson struck the inside of the post with a ferocious free-kick, and the half closed goalless. The second half more than made up for the lack of goals, with Wolves taking the lead within five minutes, through Kevin Foley, who followed in Jarvis’ effort; drilling home with his left foot. Muscular full-back George Elokobi blocked a Darren Bent volley on the line to preserve Wolves’ advantage, but in the 66th minute, Asamoah Gyan won a header to set Darren Bent clear of the sluggish Stearman, and as he bore down on goal, Bent finish supremely across Hennessey. Wolves had not really recovered by the time Sunderland mounted a slick passing move, culminating in Phil Bardsley thumping in a tantalising cross, met with a magnificent header from man-of-the-moment Danny Wellbeck; guiding it superbly into the bottom corner. Mackems fans went crazy, but five minutes later Wolves hit back following a goalmouth scramble. After earlier having a goal disallowed for offside, Richard Stearman  received a ball in an even more offside position, yet play was allowed to continue, and when Craig Gordon kept out a Sylvain Ebanks-Blake header, Stephen Hunt bundled the loose ball home from two yards for the equaliser. With Sunderland now the team on the back foot, Wolves seized the initiative, though had Lee Cattermole’s power drive not been tipped over it would all have been academic. As it was, Kevin Doyle made a nuisance of himself, and found Ebanks-Blake in space, with the Wolves striker drilling the chance home for a glorious late winner to finally put a smile on Mick McCarthy’s dour countenance.

With Wolves winning, it was imperative for West Ham to also win, or risk being cut adrift. A fixture against Wigan was perhaps the most obvious opportunity for points, and the Hammers finally gleaned a victory, despite their profligate strikers. In the 34th minute some appallingly static defending allowed Frederic ‘Coolio’ Piquionne to flick a header into the box, and where blue shirts dithered, Valon Behrami dared…to steal in and score. Junior Stanislas then sent in a pounding drive that Omanian stopper Ali Al-Habsi kept out with a great save. Al-Habsi then surpassed this with an incredible display of goalkeeping to rival Ben Foster’s save from Drogba last week. A dangerous cross found Frederic Piquionne launching himself over defenders in his effort to score. He connected powerfully from only 8 or so yards, yet Al-Habsi’s reflexes were stunning, managing to fling a strong hand out and push the ball clear of goal with just a split second to react. Once again, the man from the Middle East proved why he keeps Chris Kirkland on the bench every week. Coolio then proved why most West Ham fans think he’s a liability, adding to his personal collection of howlers by dragging an absolute sitter wide when completely free in the middle of the box. On 56 minutes he made slight amends by advancing into the box, before knocking the ball back to strike-partner Obinna, who advanced and smashed across Al-Habsi and in. Wigan had an opportunity to get back into the game with a vengeance when Danny Gabbidon scythed down Tom Cleverley, but Mario Boselli’s penalty was so pitiful Robert Green almost dived past it as it hit his knees and bounced out. Some more Wigan defending that was the opposite of forceful led to Obinna getting to the touchline and crossing low for Scott Parker to beat another lame challenge to net and sew up the game. Charles N’Zogbia raged against the dying of the light when his weaving dribble and layback set up Tom Cleverley to cleverly find the net, and it may have proved more than a consolation when Steve Gohouri scored a wrongly disallowed goal, as it was a team-mate and not him standing offside when the ball was played.

Everton got a nasty surprise, as the boing-boing Baggies boinged back from their dismal slide in style, thrashing the Toffees 4-1 on their home turf, but only after some jaw-dropping refereeing had served to their advantage. The quiet of the opening minutes was shattered when Paul Scharner ghosted in to head a corner into the net, with Everton seemingly in shock at the sheer impertinence of it. Ten minutes later, and it got worse for the home side, when Chris Brunt scored a free-kick superior even to Leighton Baines’ a few weeks back; stepping up to launch a left-foot effort bending snugly into the ‘postage stamp’, with Tim Howard getting across but unable to reach it even at full stretch. West Brom were the only team who had not conceded a header, and the one man you would expect to shatter that record was heading specialist Tim Cahill, and the Samoan-Aussie duly obliged on 41 minutes, rising to nod a Baines corner back where it came for 2-1. Jermaine Beckford came on ten minutes into the second period, and had one of those games. He opened his action by having a shot partially saved, then cleared off the line by Tamas. Minutes later, and all Hell broke loose; orchestrated by Chilean Gonzalo Jara, who has previous.
You may remember Jara from his outrageous two-footed lunge at Blackpool. Well, he was up to his old tricks again when he looked to have viciously smashed what looked like an elbow in Leighton Baines’ face on the edge of his own box, pole-axing the left-back, who normally goes down under much softer contact. The Chilean hot-head then scampered away with the ball; a wound-up Steven Pienaar in hot pursuit. Pienaar then almost got a red card after clearly attempting to kick Jara up in the air, but the bulky Chilean saw him coming and barged the angry little South African away, only to run into an equally feisty Mikel Arteta, who shielded the ball, but took exception to the Chilean once again launching in with two feet; responding by stamping on his assailant, who avoided serious contact but nevertheless milked it for all it was worth. Lee Mason then staggered Everton by ignoring all incidents other than Arteta’s tame retribution. Apparently aggressors are fine by Mason, it’s the retaliators who deserve a punishment. Jara got something of a comeuppance later, when Tim Cahill surreptitiously raked his studs down the Chilean’s achilles when Mason was presumably looking for some time-wasters. Aside from this incident, the rest of the game was memorable for Jermaine Beckford producing a stunning catalogue of sitter misses, first a close-range volley that hit Row Z. Somen Tchoyi then made him pay by receiving a crossfield pass adeptly, cutting outside and finding the top corner to put the game out of Everton’s reach. Beckford then looked a bit of a prat when he was free about 8 yards out, but decided to attempt a ludicrous twisting scissor-kick, which flew wide. Youssouf Mulumbu played a neat one-two and finished off Distin’s chest for the fourth West Brom goal in the 86th minute, but he will have regretted charging into the crowd, because that booking left him sent off for a second yellow moments later, when he up-ended Steven Pienaar.

Another thriller involving Blackpool, who will be devastated to only come away with a point after taking a two-goal lead, though that, like West Ham with Piquionne and Everton with Beckford, was more down to the appalling finishing of DJ Campbell than any collapse. He missed at least 3 glaring opportunities to seal the game, and Marlon Harewood can’t return soon enough. Ian Evatt had glanced an Eliot Grandin corner into the net for the opener, and it was added to in the second half from the same source, with Sheffield Wednesday reject Luke Varney doing the damage the second time. There then followed a series of mostly DJ Campbell misses, before Martin Petrov came on just on the hour. Fifteen minutes later, a ball rolled into him by Kevin Davies was flicked up and volleyed almost in the same movement, crashing into the top corner with Kingson motionless. Blackpool were then put under siege for the last 15 minutes, with Bolton creating some intricate moves. Martin Petrov saw a thunderous effort cleared off the line before Mark and Kevin Davies combined and worked the ball to Elmander in the box, who nonchalantly found Ivan Klasnic under pressure, who spun and laid a cute ball off to Mark Davies again, who finished for the icing on the cake of a delicious move. These two teams continue to be amongst the Premier League’s most entertaining.

Two of the Premier League’s most boring teams met at the Britannia, where Roberto Mancini lined up against Tony Pulis, not really comprehending how Pulis was actually integral to Mancini being in this role. For, you see, Mancini would not have been in the role had City not been the world’s richest club. And they would not have been the world’s richest club if Sheikh Mansour had not seen them in the Premier League. And of course, they would perhaps not have been in the Premier League now had they not been promoted back to the old first division in that play-off comeback win in the same season neighbours United were winning the Treble. That second division play-off final was against Gillingham, a side then managed by, you guessed it: Tony Pulis. Gillingham had gone two goals up and were in control, when Pulis decided to take off their biggest threat; a man who had tormented City, scored one goal, and could have provided a counter-attacking focal point in the final minutes or extra time; Carl Asaba. By withdrawing him and putting on a defender, Pulis gambled and cocked up badly. City staged a late comeback and Gillingham had no figurehead in attack; eventually losing on penalties when Asaba could have made the difference, if only Pulis had the courage to keep him on.
Aside from that little historical footnote, Pulis played his usual tactic of lumping it up to the big men and hurling it into the box. Rory Delap’s shoulders will have to be replaced with titanium ones by the time he retires. Movember seemed to have been acknowledged by a number of Stoke’s team too, which was nice. James Milner was forced to clear a Kenwyne Jones touch off the line, and for the most part City looked like they didn’t fancy a bit of rough ‘n’ tumble on a freezing cold day in the Potteries. That was, until the 81st minute, when Milner slid a short pass to Micah Richards, with his back to goal and a defender breathing down his neck. Suddenly, the whole stadium erupted, as Richards let the ball roll through his legs, dropped his shoulder, turned and lashed the ball in for what everyone thought was a fabulous winner. When Robert Huth missed a glorious chance in the dying minutes they thought it was all over, but they reckoned without Stoke’s secret weapon: flair, in the form of Tuncay, whose sublime backheel bamboozled three Mancitti defenders and let in Matty Etherington to score a last-gasp equaliser.

Tottenham completed their perfect week with a late comeback victory against Liverpool, who lost Jamie Carragher for a few weeks with a dislocated shoulder. The game proved a curious game of pairs: Fernando Torres galloped through, only to be superbly tackled by Sebastien Bassong in the first and second half, Jose Reina spilled one chance that was blocked on the line by Carragher, then repeated the trick in the second half, with Meireles coming to his rescue. And of course the most obvious pair was the Evil Egg himself; Martin Skrtel, who scored an incredibly lucky goal, before sliding a low cross into his own net in the second half. It was as if a mirror had been held up to each half with the way patterns repeated. Maxi screwed up two glorious chances, and was joined on the roll of shame by David N’Gog, who should be deducted wages for the most appalling miss, followed by giving away a penalty for handling a Bale free-kick, which Jermain Defoe proceeded to drag wide. Defoe was then denied a goal by the linesman’s flag, while Heurelho Gomes vitally punched a cross floating straight into the head of Torres. In the last minute, Spurs were in delirium, as Crouch flicked a high ball on, and Lennon beat a dozy Konchesky to the punch, robbing and outpacing him before finishing coolly. The same player burst through just afterwards, but his glorious run was let down by a finish that went just wide. Titanic comeback at the Emirates; Champion’s League progress; comeback win against Liverpool: a dream week to be a Spurs fan.

Fulham dug deep despite their injury problems, to grab a much-needed point against Birmingham. An early corner was bundled off the line by Brum, but when Alexander Hleb sparked into life and beat two men, he cut inside to find Sebastian Larsson free inside the box, and the Dane drove the ball in across Schwarzer. Fulham got back on level terms early in the second half, with a cross nodded back across to Dempsey, whose bravery flinging himself in paid off when he got his head to the ball and guided it across the line. Scott Dann struck the crossbar with a great header, and at the other end Eddie Johnson broke clear but was smothered by Ben Foster. The result keeps Fulham precariously above the relegation zone, with 15 points from 15 games.


Until next time my ravenous goal perverts…

Tuesday 23 November 2010

Tough at the top


A weekend of shocks as the already-compressed Premier League table became even more so. To say Birmingham rode their luck is putting it mildly, while it will take a miracle, or three world class players in January, to save West Ham from relegation now.

Possibly the most ludicrous North London derby in Premier League history saw an unfathomable second half comeback from Spurs, clinching a 3-2 victory against all the odds away to their neighbours for the first time since 1993. Unlike the 4-4 draw a couple of seasons back, this wasn’t built on furious attacking football, but just an incredible collapse from Arsenal. A curious footnote was the fact that 6 of the 8 defenders in the starting line-ups were French, including all of Arsenal’s. One Frenchman who was treated to a hostile return by fans and Samir Nasri was William Gallas, who then proceeded to have a man-of-the-match day. The Gunners started as dominant as you would expect, and by the eighth minute they were ahead, after a majestic 40 yard through-ball from Cesc Fabregas was seized upon by Samir Nasri, only for Heurelho Gomes to fly out and present the opposite of an immovable object, allowing Nasri to plough through his pitiful challenge, then squeeze the ball in from an excruciating angle, despite the dithering Benoit Assou-Ekotto giving chase and being able to clear if he had swung at the ball first time instead of allowing it to bounce apologetically over the line. Spurs were architects of their own downfall for Arsenal’s second, when Alan Hutton injured himself helping to launch an attack, and before he could pick himself up, Roman Pavlyuchenko went to great lengths to hook the ball back in play as it was drifting out for a goal kick, only to allow Arsenal to launch a lightning counter-attack, where the ball was eventually fed wide to Andrei Arshavin, with Hutton limping pathetically in an attempt to block the Russian’s cross, which found Marouane Chamakh’s lunge in the centre, stabbing the ball in from close range.
The first half had been comprehensive, and there was nothing to suggest more wouldn’t follow in the second, but Arsenal were curiously docile, and Spurs halved the deficit quickly. Harry Redknapp had brought on livewire Jermain Defoe, which changed the focal point of Spurs’ attacks. Somehow, the little Englishman beat defender Sebastien Squillaci in the air, and when Rafael Van Der Vaart got the ball under control and slid in Gareth Bale under pressure in the box, the Welshman finished superbly across Fabianski with the outside of his boot. Luka Modric sent a rising drive just over, and it was clear the impetus of the game had swung in the Lilywhites’ favour. Tottenham won a free-kick just outside the box on 67 minutes, and Fabregas decided to lift his, and team-mate Marouane Chamakh’s arms to provide an obstacle, which Rafael Van Der Vaart found. Seconds later, the Dutchman found the corner of the net with his penalty for an unlikely equaliser. This seemed to rouse the dozing Gunners, and they carved out numerous chances in an attempt to claim back their victory. Fabregas nodded a flicked free-kick across for Squillaci to nod into an empty net, but both men were clearly offside. Fabregas then fired a volley over, and ended a weaving run with a curling effort, which Gomes tipped the wrong side of the post. Laurent Koscielny then added to his growing collection of close-range sitter misses, when a Van Persie cross found him completely free, six yards out, but the defender somehow contrived to head over. The French wastrel then compounded his error by wiping out Gareth Bale for a free-kick which Van Der Vaart bent in dangerously, with Younes Kaboul rising above Koscielny and Squillaci to flick into the bottom corner for an incredible winner. Despite sending on Van Persie , Walcott and Rosicky, Wenger was left to throw the water bottle out of the pram, as his side threw away a chance to go top of the table, though with Arsenal dominating possession, and Spurs scoring with their only three shots on target, he was entitled to question just how that turnaround came about.

Birmingham supplied the second big shock of the day, and again it was built from far less possession and chances than their imperious visitors, who once again could not find a route to goal without Lampard and Essien, while Birmingham’s goal seemed like the kind that John Terry may have been more alert to. Amazingly, another Birmingham victory was built on the fact that master of caution McLeish once again played two up front. It’s a strange coincidence that most of their wins come from this ambition, and most draws and defeats come from flooding the midfield. Clearly the midfield was not flooded enough to keep much possession, but in any league you are rewarded for goals, not touching the ball. Ben Foster produced the kind of outrageous display that makes you wonder why he couldn’t provide it for Manchester United or England, but there wasn’t much sign of what was to come early on, when Didier Drogba brilliantly chested the ball to put Kalou in, prompting Foster to race out and get nutmegged by the Ivorian, whose shot bounced the wrong side of the post for Chelsea. Salomon Kalou then returned the favour, putting Drogba clean through, but Foster raced out decisively and forced Drogba to strike early, saving his effort. Birmingham then shocked even their own fans by scoring with their first notable attack. A long cross from Sebastian Larsson drew both centre-backs to the ball, only for Cameron Jerome to win it and knock the ball down into the centre, where the scandalously untracked Lee Bowyer galloped through to finish past a bewildered Cech. It’s no exaggeration to say that Ben Foster then had a ‘Gordon Banks moment’, when a cross was met from no more than eight yards by Drogba, powering his header down, only to see Foster’s incredible reflexes get him down to the bottom corner in a flash and turn it away one-handed. Even the woodwork seemed to be on Birmingham’s side when another excellent Drogba header crashed off the crossbar. More Foster excellence followed, keeping out a sneaky Drogba free-kick, a superb Ivanovic header late on, and getting Liam Ridgewell out of the mess he created with a moronic backpass, by tackling Kalou with his feet, then palming the ball out from the loose ball as Kalou looked set to regain control. Birmingham clung on for a famous win, despite Chelsea having nearly 25 shots to their 2.

With both potential table-toppers losing, Manchester United had a chance to seize the title initiative at home to a newly-defensively-sound Wigan team. The Latics could have profited early on when Nemanja Vidic made a right mess of clearing, but Jordi Gomes blazed over. At the other end, Nani stung Ali Al-Habsi’s fingertips, and Gabriel Obertan was scythed down by Wigan captain Antonin Alcaraz, to earn the defender an obvious booking he would later regret. Wigan’s man-of-the-moment Charles N’Zogbia nearly made another headline for himself when he slalomed through 4 United shirts, only to be foiled by Edwin Van Der Sar. The first half proved pretty even, but on the stroke of half-time the home fans were in raptures, when Park Ji-Sung delivered banquet of a cross to the back post, and Patrice Evra was the first to gorge, cashing in on Al-Habsi’s hesitancy, perhaps believing mistakenly his defenders would actually do their jobs, rather than leave the Frenchman free as a bird to swoop in and nod across the Omanian goalkeeper and into the net.
Wigan, who had held their own, then pressed the self-destruct button in the second half, with captain Alcaraz lunging in needlessly to take down Darren Fletcher for a second yellow card, before his replacement as captain; Hugo Rodallega, leapt into a two-footed assault on Rafael Da Silva to leave Wigan with nine men. Roberto Martinez criticised the referee, and Nemanja Vidic did get away with a clear tug on Charles N’Zogbia right on the edge of the box, but aside from this Wigan only had themselves to blame for losing their heads. Javier Hernandez made the game safe with another unorthodox manipulation to dive and head Rafael’s cross in from six yards, though this time the lack of Wigan marking could be explained by their dearth of numbers. The prodigal son; Wayne Rooney entered the fold to a mixed reception on 56 minutes, and he had a good header saved, while missing a close-range chance that fell to him quickly. Though his first touch was not assured, he looked a lot more applied than before his little injury, infidelity and greed issues. United fans will hope the best is yet to come. Still United pressed, and Evra missed a glorious chance in the dying minutes, but 2-0 against nine men is against not convincing at all, despite United’s still-unbeaten opening to the season, though the result moves them level on points with Chelsea.

Bolton Wanderers continue to impress, especially at the Reebok, where they destroyed away day warriors Newcastle United with an inspired display from the formerly-maligned Johan Elmander. Former Trotter Kevin Nolan returned to his old home for the first time, and began like a man on a mission, harrying and robbing Paul Robinson trying to usher the ball out on the touchline, only to blunder with his finish. His eagerness counted against him minutes later, when the ball skipped up off his thigh and he instinctively nudged the ball away with his elbow, for a blatant penalty that Kevin Davies calmly stroked home. Newcastle’s response came in the form of a low Jose Enrique cross missed by everyone, while a more debatable response came in the form of persistent rough treatment dished out to Johan Elmander, particularly a headbutt from Mike Willamson, though this was all in vain when they couldn’t get clearances right. One particularly bad one fell to Chung-Yong Lee, who made them pay with a second Bolton goal. The second half saw Newcastle continue their braindead tactic of simply targeting Elmander, while leaving Kevin Davies free to dominate them, and when the big man received a ball inside from Lee, he slipped a perfect ball between defenders to their nemesis Elmander, who collected and rounded Krul before netting.
Newcastle finally made an impression in the right way through a Bolton error, with midfield dynamo Stuart Holden’s tackle on Ameobi inadvertently rebounding to Andy Carroll, galloping through to beat Jaaskelainen expertly. Gary Cahill of all people then came close for Bolton before a teasing Gutierrez cross was missed by both Nolan and Carroll in the centre. A long ball upfield was dithered upon by Fabricio Colocinni, perhaps caught in two minds about whether to kick the ball or Elmander. In the end he did neither, as the Swede rounded and then outmuscled him, before finishing superbly past the onrushing Krul. When the same situation presented itself on the opposite flank, the Argentine remembered his instructions and smashed his arm into Elmander’s face, pole-axing the Swede and receiving a few extra minutes to wash his lustrous mane. At the other end, the main resistance came from a man who mainly throws his fists off the pitch; Andy Carroll, whose snapshot crashed off the bar, with no Toon attacker following in effectively. In stoppage time, Bolton rubbed salt into Newcastle’s festering wounds, when another neat move saw Moreno feed Davies inside the box, where Jose Enrique barged in from behind, giving away a second penalty, which in the absence of the substituted Elmander, who surely would loved to have bagged a hat-trick in light of his constant harassment, Davies tucked away superbly well.

Mancitti took the opportunity to oust Bolton from, and barge back into, the VIP lounge of the Premiership by demolishing a pitiful Fulham at Craven Cottage. Former City boss Mark Hughes must have found it galling that his normally composed and efficient team chose the return of his old side to turn in their worst performance of the season. Surely the watchword from the start would have been a pressing game to unsettle City’s big-hitters, but instead Fulham stood yards off of every player, allowing the likes of Tevez and Silva to run riot at their leisure. Within 6 minutes, Gareth Barry found Tevez, loitering on the edge of the ‘18’, with an unexceptional pass, but Carlos Salcido saw fit to make a ridiculous attempt to intercept through the bullish Argentinian, collapsing to leave Tevez spinning and finding the corner of Schwarzer’s net. The Australian goalkeeper earned his wages with a great low save from Kolorov, but just after the half-hour he was once again picking the ball from his net. Jo fed the ball wide to David Silva, whose cross saw a godawful clearance from Damien Duff turn into a lovely lay-off for Argentinian full-back Pablo Zabaleta to drive the ball in, via Duff’s heels. City then won the ball back from Fulham’s kick-off, and kept it for an unfeasibly long time unbothered, culminating in Carlos Tevez running at a static backline and laying a telegraphed ball wide to Yaya Toure, which nevertheless found Salcido on his heels and Toure finding the opposite corner of the net. Tevez almost added to his tally, but failed in a one-on-one with Schwarzer, before he extended the lead on 56 minutes; with a corner scramble leading to another lousy clearance, this time by ex-City man Dickson Etuhu, and once again finding that man Zabaleta, whose drilled shot was backheeled up and into the net by the poaching Tevez: a goal made in Argentina to no doubt delight Argentine legend/cheat/cokehead/angry man Diego Maradona in the stands. Fulham actually created a meaningful attack when Salcido found substitute Diomansy Kamara, whose low cross to Andy Johnson was met with a superb tackle from Vincent Kompany. City were clearly bored of toying with Fulham, and the Cottagers gave the score a shred of respectability with a consolation in the 69th minute, with yet another corner scramble finding Zoltan Gera, whose drive was deflected in most likely by Yaya’s brother Kolo.

What can we say about Liverpool’s pasting of West Ham? The Hammers have a stinking record at Anfield, but even accounting for that this performance had relegation written all over it. Roy Hodgson delighted the Anfield faithful by starting with 2 up front, even if one of those was the usually useless David N’Gog. The two strikers combined early on, with the Spaniard Torres firing narrowly wide, while a long-range Meireles effort was tipped over by Rob Green. On 17 minutes the paper-thin resistance was broken, when ex-Hammer Glen Johnson was quick to rattle the loose ball home from a corner. Ten minutes later the score was doubled, when Torres pressurised Danny Gabbidon into a handball, for a penalty which Dirk Kuyt converted straight down the middle, with Rob Green obligingly diving out of the way. Another ten minutes passed, and Liverpool were three up. Jonathan Obinna calamitously lost possession just outside his own box, Maxi Rodriguez fed Torres, whose effort was saved, only for another ex-Hammer; Paul Konchesky, to deliver a quick cross for Rodriguez to glance home from point-blank range. The main highlight of a predictable second half was a spin and thunderous shot from Torres magnificently tipped onto the crossbar by Green, and when the loose ball was crossed to Poulsen, the Hammers stopper found his way to the opposite side of his net to tip the effort wide. Green then tipped a long-range Fabio Aurelio effort over, while the Hammers’ dismal resistance ended with an appalling headed sitter miss from Frederic Piquionne, after Barrera’s cross found him six yards out in the middle of goal.

The two oranges lined up at Bloomfield Road, with the Tangerines of Blackpool; worst home record in the division, taking on the all-golds of Wolverhampton Wanderers; worst away record in the division. An interesting prelude to the match had come with Ian Holloway’s threat to resign in the wake of potential sanctions from the FA over his ten changes to the Blackpool team against Aston Villa, while Mick McCarthy had already been stupidly fined for the same thing. Perhaps the big difference in the two cases was that Mick’s rhetoric was apologetically defeatist, whilst Ian Holloway believed his side could get a result, which they very nearly did. As ‘Ollie said: if the Premier League requires a 25-man squad to be named, then surely all of those players are then registered to be played any time the manager wishes. Unless the Premier League is in the pockets of the tabloid media, which wouldn’t be surprising.
Wolves, who had turned in a string of fine performances for very little reward, were stung yet again by an early goal, with Sheffield Wednesday reject Luke Varney clobbering an audacious effort from the outside corner of the 18-yard box into Hahnemann’s top corner in just the third minute. Minutes later, Ian Evatt bounded forward unchecked and had his looping effort saved. Wolves showed very little attacking prowess, and were undone again just before half-time, when Varney once again made an impact, taking advantage of Hahnemann missing a David Vaughan corner by nodding the ball down, where Marlon Harewood was waiting four yards out to bundle the ball over the line. The second half saw a much better response from Wolves, with Matt Jarvis cutting across the box and unleashing a shot which Richard Kingson tipped onto the post. The Ghanian then pulled off a great reflex save from Ebanks-Blake, while a low cross later left Ebanks-Blake to tap into an open net, before Ian Evatt magnificently slid across his man to intercept off his toes. Prince William finally saw Wolves make inroads in the 86th minute, when muscular full-back Elokobi looped a cross into a packed penalty box, and Kevin Doyle ended his long drought by guiding a header into the net. DJ Campbell responded by attempting to lob Hahnemann from the halfway line, but as usual his shooting only troubled the ball-boys. With injury time ticking away, Kingson relieved the remaining pressure by taking no chances with a dangerous cross, tipping it over the bar.

West Bromwich Albion’s poor run of form continued, as they were comfortably beaten by a confident Stoke team at the Hawthorns. Albion greatly missed the influence of Chris Brunt, while Tony Pulis might have to stop with the officiating excuses for defeats, after his side received more penalties in this game than the whole of last season. As the only side who hadn’t conceded a header, you felt West Brom were up against it, against the team who love headers more than any other goal form, other than perhaps bundling the ball scrappily in on the goal-line while Robert Huth fouls the goalkeeper. Jermaine Pennant was injured early on, which didn’t bother Stoke in the end, especially as Tuncay; a far better player, came on. Youssouf Mulumbu sent a long-ranger narrowly over for the Baggies, while everyone missed a dangerous Giles Barnes cross. West Brom seemed to have the better of the first half without being clinical, but in the 55th minute, Kenwyne Jones bought a penalty, after theatrically throwing himself over Scott Carson. Matthew Etherington found the absolute corner with his spot-kick.  West Brom responded with some pressure of their own, but Tchoyi and Cech saw their efforts fail, and their spirit was killed with five minutes left, when Simon Cox barged Dean Whitehead over as he ran onto a Tuncay pass. This time it was the moustachioed Jonathan Walters who converted the penalty, and the same man got Stoke’s third in the last minute, after Kenwyne Jones had managed to backheel between three defenders giving him close attention on the touchline. Walters’ first effort was saved, but he rattled the rebound in for an impressive away victory.

A pretty poor game at Ewood Park, in a fixture which yields an average of four goals a time, but only two this. The new Indian owners of Blackburn were in town, and they saw Morten Gamst Pedersen continue his personal renaissance, as he scored a whipped free-kick that ex-Rover Brad Friedel failed miserably to palm out on the half-time whistle, and touched in a Ryan Nelsen drive after 65 minutes to make the game safe. In between, Stewart Downing and Ashley Young terrorised the Rovers’ backline, but Paul Robinson and the crossbar spared Blackburn. 37 year old Premiership legend Robert Pires made a welcome return for Aston Villa, showing he still has the guile but no longer the legs. El-Hadji Diouf had a couple of excellent opportunities, but saw Richard Dunne make a superb tackle, and somehow nod a simple header over the crossbar, to leave the score at 2-0, as Gerard Houllier ponders how he can make his side more clinical, and not rely solely on pacy counter-attacks, but actually seizing the initiative sometimes.

Sunderland came close to building on their fabulous Stamford Bridge win, but were denied late on by a deflected Arteta equaliser. Everton had taken the lead in the 5th minute, when Pienaar and Baines combined down the left, with Baines delivering for Cahill to do what he does best: plant a header into the net. Sunderland lined up without the explosive Asamoah Gyan available, so it was the returning Darren Bent alongside Danny Wellbeck, and it was the youngster who this time seized the headlines, first equalising and then putting the Mackems ahead with a looping header. Lee Cattermole and later Michael Turner were forced into last-ditch clearances for Sunderland, and both Wellbeck and Jermaine Beckford missed glaring opportunities at the end of the game, but in the end both managers admitted a draw was a decent result.

Until we meet again, keep it Premier.

Monday 15 November 2010

Wonderland for Sunderland and other stories


What a weekend in the erratic goldfish bowl of the Premier League. At the top, there were shocks-a-plenty, while at the bottom, there was minimal movement but plenty of drama. Despite 8 teams failing to score, there were an average of 2.4 goals a game, and I actually correctly predicted the unlikely Spurs-Blackburn score. Unfortunately it was part of the Sky Sports ‘Super Six’ competition, and I failed with all of my other scores!

Where else to start but Stamford Bridge, where Sunderland pulled off the performance and result of the season, against a team that hadn’t lost at home since February, and rarely drop a point there. The fact that Sunderland had conceded 12 goals in their last 2 visits there, and had recently been demolished by their North-East counterparts also did not bode well for Steve Bruce’s men. In any sport, this result seemed to be a home certainty. But closer examination of the Chelsea line-up may offer a clue as to the paucity of their own performance. The front three were at their strongest: Drogba, Anelka and Malouda; 16 goals between them already this season. But when we consider Drogba is still recovering from his unfortunate bout of malaria and has not looked his best, it looks slightly less strong. Then a look at Chelsea’s midfield: the new boy Ramires, the normally-peripheral Yuri Zhirkov and the erratic and unreliable Jon Obi Mikel. Missing powerhouse Michael Essien and goal-threat Frank Lampard was a stretch too far. At the back, it was even worse, with Chelski fielding 4 full-backs; the still-not-fully-fit Jose Bosingwa, Branislav Ivanovic, the weak at full-back Paulo Ferreira playing at centre-half, and Cashley Cole. Missing John Terry and Alex, this Chelsea defence was prone to any guile, and their midfield hardly afforded them protection. Basically, Chelsea’s decent squad players normally embellishing the stars were asked to become their indispensible first eleven, and failed miserably. Another rather lamer excuse of the departure of Ray ‘the crab’ Wilkins was offered up, perhaps because he is English, and we all hate to see English people made redundant, but this was spurious. Steve Bruce deserves huge credit for deciding to deploy two strikers in the face of a potential battering, and fortune favoured his brave decision.
Chelsea actually began brightly, with a dangerous through-ball setting Anelka bounding through, only for Craig Gordon to make a decision and get there in the nick of time, palming the ball away before Anelka flew over him. Minutes later, Yuri Zhirkov showed us what he is capable of, showing quick feet and balance in gliding between Sunderland’s backline, before ruining his good work with an effort well wide. The action was hotting up, and Petr Cech was forced into the save of the game , when a lovely cross was met by a superb downward header into the bottom corner by Danny Wellbeck. The big Czech got down like lightning to palm it away one-handed. Didier Drogba summed up his current form when he gave away an easy pass in the middle of the park, triggering a pacy Sunderland counter, where Asamoah Gyan set Wellbeck away. Wellbeck’s touch on his chest was perfect, but his left-foot effort couldn’t beat the huge frame of Cech. Not long afterwards, Chris Foy bottled the biggest decision of the game, as some crisp Sunderland passing and movement culminated in Zenden sliding the ball in front of Danny Wellbeck, with acres to run into past last man Ivanovic, who cynically tugged him to the ground. Even the most myopic Chelsea fan saw it was a sending off, yet Foy allowed him to stay on the pitch with just a caution. Any feelings of injustice from the Mackems was quelled on the stroke of half-time from an unlikely source. After a cracking move involving man-of-the-match Wellbeck led to a great double save from Cech, right-back Nedim Onuoha picked up the loose ball 40 yards from goal on his weaker side. A jink and sway later, he had cut through two Chelsea defenders, and scuffed the ball through the desperate challenge of Ivanovic and past Petr Cech for a magnificent opening goal.
It didn’t take long in the second half for Sunderland to extend their advantage. Another pacy break caught Chelsea cold, with Wellbeck finding England prospect Jordan Henderson, who had come from nowhere to support the attack, and reversed the ball beautifully to find Asamoah Gyan, who had a short window to manoeuvre in, but got the ball out of his feet and finished expertly inside Cech’s far post. The Chelsea resurgence everyone expected never came, bar an Anelka chance fired just over, and in the dying moments Kieran Richardson bust a gut to pressurise Cashley Cole on the touchline, who conjured up the most hilarious moment of the season, proving that a hundred a grand a week doesn’t prevent a player from playing the most braindead ball across their own box to set up an open goal for Wellbeck to cap his flawless display. Chelsea 0-3 Sunderland. Read that back.

Arsenal cut Chelsea’s lead to just two points with an excellent victory at the always-difficult Goodison Park. Lining up in their fetching custard-yellow away strip, for what reason noone knows as red should not clash with blue, the Gunners are beginning to look formidable now their big players are all returning. It could have been so different though, after livewire Seamus Coleman skinned Cesc Fabregas and broke into the box, delivering a pinpoint cross that Tim Cahill somehow headed over. You had to rub your eyes to believe that it was actually master of the perfect header Cahill who had made such a mess of such a glorious chance. The Toffees rued this opportunity before half-time, when some baffling slackness in their own box saw Arshavin feed a completely unmarked Sagna, who had time to look up a few yards from goal, before launching the ball high inside Howard’s near post. The fast-improving Lukasz Fabianski made his only mistake when he misjudged a long cross, which Luis Saha nodded against the outside of his post, bizarrely in vain as the generous linesman claimed it had already gone out, thus defying the laws of physics. Minutes after half-time, Arsenal scored the kind of goal that has you just shaking your head at how they can manoeuvre in such small spaces. Denilson approached a packed penalty area and slid a short ball into Fabregas, who just helped it on, nutmegging Steven Pienaar in the process as it reached Chamakh, who quickly dinked the ball on a sixpence right into the stride of Fabregas, who rattled the ball through another set of legs; Phil Jagielka’s, on its way into the net; a sublime second goal which essentially killed the game. When Jack Rodwell skied the ball after a lovely Everton move, it confirmed their demise. Samir Nasri should have killed the game when he cut through the blue backline like a knife through butter, but Howard won the one-on-one battle. An even better chance was squandered when Nasri slid in Fabregas, who dinked a cross that Chamakh skied from three yards.
A newly-confident Jermaine Beckford came on, and forced Lukasz Fabianski into a wonderful plunging save with a spin and shot, while Pienaar belted a great opportunity right down Fabianski’s throat. The Gunners stopper then pulled off another outstanding reflex save to keep out a top-corner bound effort from Luis Saha, but with two minutes to go the constant Everton pressure yielded a result, when a well-worked corner cleared Fabianski, and was nodded back across by Saha for Cahill to beat the defender to and steer into the net from five yards. Too little, too late for the wasteful Toffees.

Villa Park saw a most unexpected display from either team, but the expected entertainment from two sides who normally serve up a thriller at the Villa. With Marc Albrighton, Barry Bannan and Jonathan Hogg lining up, as well as more from the bench, Villa’s line-up was incredibly young, and ironic when you consider the last time Villa beat United at Villa Park, Alan Hansen declared United would ‘win nothing with kids’. The first half was just a Claret and Blue onslaught. United were worse than poor, and Stewart Downing particularly was running riot, yet no goals were registered. The second period saw United play even worse, if worse was possible, and Villa up the ante, as a Downing cross was thumped against United’s crossbar by the forehead of James Collins, and Gabriel Agbonlohor seized on a Vidic tackle to strike the post. Astonishingly it wasn’t until the 72nd minute that the opening goal came. United, all over the place as usual, allowed Agbonlohor possession just inside the box. Vidic desperately kept pace and lunged in, but rather than win the ball cleanly he merely helped it into the centre, where Ashley Young became the meat in a Brown-Ferdinand sandwich. Mike Dean pointed to the spot, and Ashley Young dispatched the kick. This did nothing to shake United from their lethargy, and minutes later a pacy counter saw Ashley Young feed the ball wide to Downing, who crossed for the incredibly unmarked Albrighton to nod home for 2-0 and apparently game over.
Gabriel Obertan and Federico Macheda had been sent on minutes earlier for the ineffectual Berbatov and Hernandez, and soon after the second goal United decided to show some willing. Rio Ferdinand had a close-range volley cleared off the line by Albrighton, but five minutes after Villa’s second goal, United halved the deficit. A cross was nodded down by Vidic for Fletcher, who had the presence of mind to deftly control and backheel to the onrushing Macheda, whose first-time drive arrowed into the net, continuing his reputation as the scourge of Aston Villa. At the other end Downing had a chance to put the game to bed but his rising right-footed drive cleared the bar. With five minutes to play, a superb deep cross by Nani was missed by a cluster of bodies in the centre, but not Nemanja Vidic, who stole in at the back post to guide it back across Friedel and in with his head for a scarcely-deserved 2-2 draw. There was still time for Obertan to burst through in the dying seconds; Villa breathing a sigh of relief as Friedel rushed out to save with his face.

White Hart Lane
saw more cracking entertainment as Big Sam’s Clogs of War rolled into town. It took just quarter of an hour for Gareth Bale to make an enterprising run across the front post and get his head on a Van Der Vaart corner for the opening goal, and from then on it seemed business as usual. Luka Modric was adjudged to have dived when it looked like a clear penalty before Roman Pavlyuchenko was sent clean through by an atrocious Phil Jones backpass, yet to the general bewilderment of the stadium, the elegant Russian fired the glorious chance miles over the crossbar with the outside of his boot. Forgotten man Jermaine Jenas produced a fine dribble into the heart of Rovers’ area, before Robinson came out to collect, only for Crouch to throw himself in front of the goalkeeper for a dubious spot-kick. As it was, it didn’t matter anyway, as Pavlyuchenko astonishingly fired wide of the target again. Rovers had some good moments, particularly when Croatian Nikola Kalinic produced an exquisite Cruyff turn to wriggle away from two defenders, only to see Gomes foil his effort. Pavlyuchenko was saved from a potential half-time substitution by that crossing wizard Bale, who seemed not to have any room, but somehow bent an exceptional cross around Chimbonda right on to the head of the Russian, who found the net for a 2-0 half-time lead.
The second half continued in much the same vein, with Spurs destroying the destroyers, though Rovers had their moments early on. Half-time substitute Jason Roberts and Morten Gamst Pedersen combined, with Gallas clearing off the line, but Rovers were sunk after Paul Robinson made a fantastic save from Pavlyuchenko’s blockbusting effort, only for Gael Givet to take a ridiculous touch which Crouch gratefully used to crash in the rebound, much to Robinson’s comical consternation. Another superb Robinson fingertip save was exerted from the source of Pavlyuchenko’s boot, but when Van Der Vaart completely miskicked a cross, Gareth Bale didn’t need an invitation to smash the loose ball in for 4-0. To say Spurs took their foot off the pedal from here is an understatement. A ball was lazily cleared to David Dunn, whose drilled effort nicked a defender on the way in. Younes Kaboul was then forced to clear off the goal-line within minutes, and with a minute to go the deficit was reduced further, when man mountain Christopher Samba knocked down a cross for Gael Givet to erase memories of his howler. 4-2 was very kind to Blackburn, and the game ruined Rafael Van Der Vaart’s 100% record of scoring at home.

Liverpool showed us why they can never be trusted by losing to Stoke City, ending their false revival, in no small part thanks to an anonymous display from talisman Fernando Torres. After some early Rory Delap long throws had Liverpool pressing the panic button, a thunderous shot from Dean Whitehead was parried well by Reina. Kenwyne Jones later missed the kind of header he would normally score with his eyes closed. At the other end, Asmir Begovic kept out a long-range Steven Gerrard effort, but the flow of the game dictated Stoke would take the lead, and it happened in the 56th minute; the mother of all goalmouth scrambles ending with Ricardo Fuller taking two swipes and eventually bundling the ball over the line for the opening goal. Begovic was hit with the whole goal to aim at by Maxi Rodriguez to maintain Stoke’s lead, and Liverpool did not look like turning the game around. In the last minute, Steven Gerrard thoughtlessly gave the ball away for Kenwyne Jones to race through, hold off Skrtel and drill past Reina for 2-0. The apparently in-form Lucas Leiva then very cleverly kicked through his man to earn a second yellow card in stoppage time.

A thoroughly entertaining game at Molineux, except for the post-match interviewer dealing with an increasingly hacked-off Mick McCarthy. Wolves started how they started last week: by conceding inside the first minute, with Richard Stearman; the epitome of clumsiness so far this season, putting through his own net under pressure from Matt Taylor. Nenad Milijas drilled in a long-ranger which was saved, as was the follow-up from Matt Jarvis. Milijas then got a ball out of his feet brilliantly, but could only clip the crossbar. By the time Ebanks-Blake had hit the post, Wolves had plenty of reasons to suggest they could get back into the game. These hopes were snuffed out just after the hour, with the rest of the game’s four goals all coming in a frenetic 16-minute period. On 61 minutes, some typically nice work from Stuart Holden fed Johan Elmander with 3 defenders about him. Elmander then morphed into Dennis Bergkamp, with a sumptuous drag-back and spin bamboozling his triumvirate of markers and allowing him a second to find the composed finish his moment of finesse deserved. Five minutes later, Chung-Yong Lee was put through, and found Holden waiting to put the away Wanderers 3-0 up. The home Wanderers, however, had something to say before the end. Two minutes after the killer third, Wolves scored an apparent consolation, when Matt Jarvis’ trickery left room for Kevin Foley to bend the ball in. When Stephen Fletcher met a cross that everyone had missed with a diving header for 3-2, the heat was really on for the debt-laden Trotters, but Steven Mouyokolo blew his big opportunity at the death, nodding a glorious cross wide of the target to leave Wolves ruing another costly defeat.

West Ham and Blackpool served up possibly the most entertaining goalless draw you’re ever likely to see, in the wake of ‘Ollie’s threat to resign should he be reprimanded for changing ten members of his team for the midweek defeat to Aston Villa. Blackpool have been, to quote a well-worn cliché, a breath of fresh air this season, going gung-ho in every game, but not without a measure of intelligence. They’ve rarely been destroyed by any team, and create bucketfuls of chances per game. If only DJ Campbell could finish they would be higher still. After a thunderous Obinna volley had struck the hand of Cathcart from about three yards away, it was a bit rich for the Hammers to feel hard done by at no penalty award. Blackpool, however, had a credible reason for being aggrieved, when Marlon Harewood had a perfectly good goal denied for offside. The Hammers hit back, forcing a goal-line clearance from Evatt and hitting the post through luckiest man in the country Carlton Cole, who is somehow in the England squad ahead of Kevin Davies. There was still time for Gary Taylor-Fletcher to miss an absolute sitter, and Robert Green to be bailed out of his error by an alert defender, but with 40+ shots, this has to go down as one of the great Premier League goalless draws.

Wigan recorded a vital win against West Brom to move out of the relegation zone. The Baggies looked fatigued from their week’s exertions, though James Morrison should have scored after a lovely one-two with Peter Odemwingie, but blazed wide. The Wigan breakthrough didn’t come until the 70th minute. It was predictable that the buzzing threat of Charles N’Zogbia was at the heart of it, with the Frenchman’s sumptuous skill taking him to the edge of the box before slipping a gorgeous ball through to young Victor Moses, who fired across Carson brilliantly. Franco Di Santo wasted a decent chance late on, but that was pretty much it. Wigan for the moment trimming the entertainment, but no longer defensive jokes.

Newcastle again struggled at home, against a Fulham side playing in a rather fetching little green number. Andy Johnson was back and buzzing, while new England recruit Andy Carroll was on top form, though apparently injured for England duty. Tim Krul made a vital brave early save from the marauding Clint Dempsey, while a Carroll bullet at the other end hit his own landlord Kevin Nolan; the rebound volley by Peter Lovenkrands well saved. Carroll later cracked a sweet drive which was again well dealt with by Schwarzer, while the best chance bounced up to Moussa Dembele in the second half, but the Moroccan could only crack the crossbar to leave honours even.

Mancitti-Birmingham was every bit as dull as the neutral would expect from these two stiflers, with City recording their second nil-nil in four days. Carlos Tevez tried emulating a compatriot by handling the ball as he scored, James Milner saw an effort hacked off the line, while Adam Johnson provided sporadic moments of class in an otherwise terrible game. Speaking of terrible, a Barry Ferguson backpass let in Tevez, but it wasn’t to be the Argentine’s day as he put it wide under pressure. Tis the season, and Roque Santa Claus came on just after the hour mark, to mark the festive build-up, no doubt.

Until next week gentle readers…

Friday 12 November 2010

Derby dross sees Chelski chuffed


A midweek programme saw the biggest Manchester derby in decades become a contender for the worst Premier League game of all time, Chelsea narrowly increase their lead at the summit, and Liverpool’s resurgence halted by a typically unpredictable Wigan.

Spurs faltered again against a Sunderland side reacting brilliantly to the humiliation against their rivals. Craig Gordon, making his first appearance of the season, had to be at his best to keep out Luka Modric early on, while Tom Huddlestone hit the Mackems’ crossbar with a typical long-range blockbuster. David Bentley tested Gordon again before half-time, reminding everyone he is still around, and then took part in the game’s most contentious moment in the second period, bursting into the box and going down under a challenge from Boudewijn Zenden. Replays showed Zenden attempted to pull out, but still catching Bentley to take him down. Howard Webb controversially decided there was no contact and booked Bentley for diving, much to Redknapp’s fury. It wasn’t until the 64th minute that Spurs went ahead from the man who has scored in every home game since his arrival; Rafael Van Der Vaart. Spurs’ other talisman; Gareth Bale, delivered a peach of a cross, Crouch knocked down and the Dutchman netted; a familiar Spurs move these days. Just three minutes later, Spurs gave away their lead, when Gallas and Kaboul got in each other’s way to allow explosive Ghanaian Asamoah Gyan time to finish adeptly. Another contentious decision followed, when Lee Cattermole again pushed the rules to the limit, with an x-rated challenge on Luka Modric that had Rafael Van Der Vaart ready to knock his block off. Webb was rather more lenient.

The less said about the Manchester derby the better, quite frankly. Rafael had a spat with Carlos Tevez, Nigel De Jong looked to go to ground, studs showing, whenever feasible, and Paul Scholes was always liable to scythe an unsuspecting blue shirt down. Tevez had a great free-kick brilliantly saved by Van Der Sar and Hart easily saved a Berbatov hook. Both defences were imperious, and City got what they wanted: anything but a defeat.

Chelsea narrowly beat neighbours Fulham with a Michael Essien header on the half-hour, scored with Didier Drogba down in the penalty area, rolling around presumably until he heard the crowd’s roar. The second half saw Salomon Kalou somehow waltz through a static Fulham backline and fire through Schwarzer, who took enough pace off the ball for Aaron Hughes to clear off the line. In a goalmouth scramble, Hughes later blocked a certain goal from Didier Drogba, and Kalou proved as wasteful as ever. Chelsea had Cech to thank for punching away a good Gera effort in the dying minutes, before Essien ruined his winning contribution by stamping into a challenge with both feet, narrowly missing gashing Dempsey’s thigh open. Having made the difference, the Ghanaian powerhouse was red-carded, and will be much-missed by Chelsea.

Marouane Chamakh scored in the first and last minutes to give Arsenal a convincing win over a spirited Wolves side, but the undoubted star man for the Gunners was a man steadily rebuilding a reputation: Lukas Fabianski. The Pole made a couple of blinding saves and dealt with crosses well to enhance his claims to permanently replace Almunia. Normally solid early on, Wolves were caught cold by a marvellous Song cross inside 40 seconds that was consummately finished with his head by Chamakh. Despite both sides knocking at the door the rest of the game, with Sagna making a magnificent block from Milijas and Arshavin thumping the foot of the post, a quick throw from Lukas Fabianski in stoppage time saw Chamakh race clear and finish the game off to send the Gunners a point behind second-placed Manchester United.

Ian Holloway made numerous changes and threatened to resign if the Premier League wade in with a fine, but the fact is Blackpool were 2 minutes away from grabbing a superb draw with Aston Villa, and continued their fine goalscoring exploits in the top division. A horribly deflected shot from Stewart Downing had put the Villans ahead, but Villa old boy Marlon Harewood gloried in his well-taken equaliser right on half-time. Youngster Nathan Delfouneso finally kept his head to score Villa’s second just before the hour mark, but Blackpool did not lose heart and got their reward with 86 minutes on the clock, when the normally profligate DJ Campbell worked an opening and got a helping hand from James Collins, who deflected his effort past Friedel for the equaliser. Lamentably for the Tangerines, there was still time for Collins to make amends, guiding in a header from a corner with just a minute to go, with Chris Basham on the post trying to multi-task; marking Ashley Young at the same time and failing to keep the ball out. The fans must also have been slightly miffed that Sheffield Wednesday reject Luke Varney was left kicking his heels on the substitute’s bench.

We were given a warm-up to the David Haye-Audley Harrison bout when Joey Barton decked Morten Gamst Perdersen with a ‘one-inch punch’ to the chest after he assumed the Norwegian had body-checked him on purpose. The little man with anger management issues was fortunate that Michael Jones was looking elsewhere, but his assault made no difference to Blackburn, who won the game thanks to Pedersen’s and Jason Robert’s continuing renaissances. The Norwegian profited in only the 2nd minute, when impressive Newcastle midfielder Cheik Tiote had one of those moments that you hope is used up in a game you are already 5-0 up in. Unfortunately for him, his failure to get the ball under control inside his box led to the opening goal for Rovers. Toon were indebted once again to gangly target man Andy Carroll just after half-time, when pugilistic midfielder Barton delivered the kind of cross he has been providing every week, which Carroll nodded back across Robinson and in, finally managing to get away from fellow giant Christopher Samba. Blackburn still had the resolve to come back though, and deflated Newcastle in the 81st minute when Jason Roberts outmuscled Mike Williamson and finished, reacting by pointing at his manager and the back of his shirt to leave us in no doubt what he was thinking.

Liverpool could only draw with an improving Wigan team, despite another masterful goal from Fernando Torres, and Steven Gerrard thundering the crossbar. Wigan came into the game especially in the second period, with Charles N’Zogbia angry to be denied a goal for offside, after cleverly exchanging passes with Hugo Rodallega. The Colombian Rodallega scored the equaliser on 51 minutes, after Jose Reina could only tip Ronnie Stam’s probing cross out to him, and despite Gerrard’s woodwork hit, the game finished a stalemate.

Everton continued their unbeaten run, but only through a fabulous last-minute equaliser from Jermaine Beckford. The game seemed to be heading for a goalless draw, when Matt Taylor drove on and found a perfect cross for Klasnic to walk the ball in at the back post with just ten minutes remaining. When Marouane Fellaini was red-carded for kicking the always-aggressive Paul Robinson, it seemed defeat was inevitable for the Toffees, until the normally weak Leighton Baines found the strength to hound Chung-Yong Lee into giving him the ball on the touchline, fed Beckford, and the striker turned and whipped a sumptuous strike into the top corner of Jaaskelainen’s net. Seven games unbeaten for Everton.

A battle of the Wests saw Ham draw with Brom, but only after the Hammers had mounted a stirring comeback, and the Baggies found the vigour to regain parity. West Brom’s early season talisman Peter Odemwingie opened the scoring from the penalty spot, after Luis Boa Morte was harshly adjudged to have barged over Steven Reid, though replays suggested the West Brom midfielder had played for it. Either side of half-time the Hammers turned it around. Scott Parker sent a rocket into the top corner to equalise, before Frederic Piquionne netted his own penalty, following Tamas’ challenge on Kieron Dyer. The source of the Baggies equaliser was, typically, Chris Brunt, who whipped that delicious left foot around the ball to deliver a pinpoint cross to Pablo Ibanez at the far post, who headed it back into the opposite corner. Try as they might, the Hammers just can’t claw their way off the foot of the table.

Stoke City arrested their recent slide, taking a 2-0 lead against Birmingham City through an opportunistic strike from Robert Huth, and a magnificent solo effort from the powerful trickster Ricardo Fuller, who beat Barry Ferguson on the touchline before cutting in and unleashing the fury. Birmingham typically did not lie down, and a Keith Fahey strike was added to by a Cameron Jerome header for 2-2. What wasn’t so typical was the abysmal defending from the normally immaculate Brum backline, which let in Dean Whitehead, who bundled in a late winner.

Monday 8 November 2010

Sparklers and rockets



After some pretty uninspiring weekends, the Premier League set the pulses racing again with a programme stuffed with enough firepower to impress Guy Fawkes himself, except perhaps that the players were far more clinical in their executions. It was a weekend where the woodwork was rattled almost more than the nets were bulged, while the odds you would have got on the only three teams not scoring including Arsenal and Chelsea would have been ludicrous.


Manchester United rediscovered their valuable trait of finding a late winner to knock the stuffing out of Wolves, who had produced another cracking performance against one of the new ‘Big Four’. The hero was the often peripheral South Korean dynamo Park Ji-Sung, while another event of note, on the 24th anniversary of Sir Alex Ferguson’s reign at Old Trafford, was the long-awaited return of Owen Hargreaves, a man as much missed by England as United. Unfortunately for all concerned, the midfielder’s appearance lasted all of five minutes before he limped off, though the good news is that it seemed to be a muscle strain rather than a recurrence of his troublesome knee issues. It was also intriguing to see Portuguese prospect Bebe coming on for the stricken Canadian-Englishman. He didn’t waste much time in testing the Wolves backline, with Richard Stearman called into action to block a decent effort. Nemanja Vidic must have thanked Lady Luck for taking his wild deflection from Milijas wide of the post, after some slack play from Rio Ferdinand. Matt Jarvis was up to his usual tricks on the left flank, and his devious cross into the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ should have been capitalised on by Stephen Hunt. On the stroke of half time, with Wolves having had the best of it, Darren Fletcher found his head while all around were losing theirs, and threaded a magnificent ball through defenders to find Park Ji-Sung, who had typically found a small pocket of space where there seemed to be none. The South Korean took a flawless first touch, before disguising his shot to slot inside Hahnemann’s near post as the goalkeeper flew out, with the aid of a slight nick from a defender.
Wolves managed to successfully dust themselves down for the second half, and after an early scare when Hahnemann spilled a Bebe effort with noone following in, Matt Jarvis laid a short pass across the box to Nenad Milijas, who scuffed a shot in that fortunately found Manchester United old boy Sylvain Ebanks-Blake. With Vidic making a sluggish attempt at an interception, Ebanks-Blake took one touch to turn the off-balance Serbian, and another to fire through Edwin Van Der Sar’s legs for a great equaliser. Stephen Fletcher then wasted a chance presented to him by another slack piece of play from the normally dominant Vidic, firing well over. United were lacklustre yet again, and Hernandez made an embarrassing attempt to win a penalty, which earned him a booking. When the ball was fed into Park in the middle of Wolves’ penalty box, it looked like a potential late winner, but Karl Henry lunged in with a perfect tackle in the most precarious of areas, which provoked Mick McCarthy into making a bit of a tit of himself in ‘celebration’. Hubris coming before a fall and all that…Park Ji-Sung was fed by Fletcher out on the right wing, where he dribbled purposefully across the box, dummying once before brilliantly scuffing a shot through a block of lunging defenders and tucked neatly inside Hahnemann’s near post, and Mick’s triumphant chest-beating turned into frustrated fist-pounding.

Liverpool continued their resurgence with a fantastic victory against a Chelski side who finally succumbed to defeat without Drogba, Essien and Lampard, though the Ivorian came on in the second half to help batter the Scousers, who held out resolutely, even with recent star man Stelios Kyrgiakos missing through illness. Drogba, intriguingly, was also benched for similar reasons. Dirk Kuyt returned to an ambitious-looking Liverpool line-up, and they started dynamically, being in the ascendancy when Kuyt found a lovely pass just evading Cole and Terry to find Torres on their shoulder; killing the ball with his first touch, holding off Terry and guiding the ball across Cech for a classic goal straight from the Torres playbook. Chelsea responded only with a tame Salomon Kalou header, before John Terry’s poor clearance was kicked up onto the arm of Yuri Zhirkov, fortunate perhaps to escape censure. Liverpool, with young Martin Kelly excelling at right-back, were still looking forward, and just before half-time they killed the game off, when Raul Meireles craftily slid the ball out to the far edge of the penalty area, where Torres picked it up and cut outside his man, before unleashing a venomous shot into the corner of Cech’s net; another Torres classic. The second half was mostly one-way-traffic, heralded by the introduction of that familiar horsey powerhouse Drogba. A superb Cashley cross was headed over by a wasteful Ramires, and Yuri Zhirkov tested Reina at his near post, before Drogba battered his way through and crossed low for Malouda to slide in and find Reina making an unbelievable instinctive save from point-blank range. At the other end, Dirk Kuyt took down an awkward ball, spun and shot, only for Cech’s big leg to come to Chelsea’s rescue. It wasn’t so much a Chelsea ascendancy as an onslaught after this. When Nicolas Anelka carved a path clean through the heart of Liverpool’s defence, his drilled shot seemed to squirm under Reina, but the Spaniard got enough contact to send it bouncing up and against the underside of the crossbar, while own-goal king Jamie Carragher prevented a certain one this time, sliding in to form a barrier against the lurking Drogba. There were more hairy moments for Liverpool when Reina seemed to bizarrely miss a long through-ball, but recovered before any damage could be done, and in the dying embers of the game, Maxi Rodriguez managed to put paid to the old adage about players wanting to score more than win penalties, when he brilliantly beat the last man, rounded Cech and left himself with an empty net, only to decide after he’d passed the goalkeeper’s body to fall dramatically, earning himself a yellow card and hopefully a stern rebuke in the dressing room for preferring to get a player sent off than actually score to sew up the game.

Following their malice in Sunderland, the Geordies turned up at the Emirates, looking to earn more kudos for Chris Hughton, but even the most optimistic Toon fan must have been doubting a win at the Emirates, especially with a clean sheet. When Francesc Fabregas struck the crossbar with an early free-kick, a home win seemed on the cards. Samir Nasri and Fabregas exchanged the ball in two moves, first culminating in Fabregas hitting the side netting, then Nasri meeting a fine save from Tim Krul. The Gunners were firing blanks on Bonfire weekend, and on half-time, Joey Barton continued his reputation for excellent deliveries with a deep free-kick, which Fabianski suicidally stopped to catch, not realising that Andy Carroll had a ten yard run-up to his leap. By the time the hulking Geordie had slammed his header into the net, Fabianski was salvaging fragments of his pride strewn across the Emirates turf.
The second half saw the Gunners seize the initiative. The lithe and nimble Jack Wilshere glided across the pitch like he was wearing glass slippers, before sliding a deft pass between defenders. Theo Walcott stormed through, stole the ball off Chamakh’s toes and crashed a belting effort against the crossbar from close range. Later, an Alexandre Song low cross was superbly intercepted from off of Chamakh’s toes by Danny Simpson. When Fabregas dived to head an Arshavin cross straight into Krul’s hands, Arsenal seemed to have run out of ideas. Their defeat was compounded when the young Newcastle forward who sounds like he should be exploring the mightiest of Egyptian rivers; Nile Ranger, was yanked to the ground as he bore down on the penalty area by a beleaguered Koscielny, earning the 81st red card of Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal reign. The shock victory leaves Newcastle three points behind Arsenal, in fifth place.

Mancitti eased a bit of the pressure on Roberto Mancini by avoiding a fourth straight defeat against a team managed by one of the Premier League’s other Robertos. The game was characterised by the maverick potential of Mario Balotelli, who won the game for City, before ensuring he wouldn’t get picked next week by managing to get both a booking and a straight red card. First joust to the Baggies as an early chance seized upon by Chris Brunt led to Kolo Toure very nearly scoring an own goal. The Balotelli show began early on, with the temperamental Italian hurling himself to the ground under an innocuous challenge from Marek Cech inside the penalty area, to no avail. With the mercurial Carlos Tevez back, and David Silva looking a class act, City looked consistently threatening. After full-back Pablo Zabaleta had sent a long-range strike whistling over the crossbar, City cut open the Baggies with a beautiful reverse pass from Silva finding Tevez bustling to the byline. The Argentinian then squeezed an inviting low cross across the box, where Super Mario was waiting to slide the ball in past two desperate defenders and Carson. In riposte, Marc-Antoine Fortune narrowly missed making connection with a tempting Chris Brunt cross, but within a few minutes West Brom’s task was doubled. The diminutive playmaker Silva glided across the park before pinging a sumptuous lofted ball perfectly into Balotelli, on the last man’s shoulder. Despite a bizarre first touch, Balotelli’s unorthodox combination of strength and trickery saw him turn Tamas and find the corner of Scott Carson’s net for 2-0.
The second half saw West Brom fly out in search of a foothold in the game, and they were left bemoaning their luck as Simon Cox launched a swerving shot against the inside of the post from distance. Balotelli once again demanded attention when another cringeworthy dive inside the box was reprimanded with a yellow card, much to his fist-pounding bemusement. Within minutes of this transgression, the 20 year-old kicked Nicky Shorey in an attempt to win a bouncing ball, then compounded it by booting the challenging Youssouf Mulumbu to the ground in frustration, leading to a somewhat acrimonious departure from the field of play. The Baggies almost took full advantage of their extra man when Mancitti profited from some outrageous fortune late on, with Jerome Boateng nodding a corner back towards his own goal and forcing Joe Hart into frantic action; with David Silva in the right place to hook the goalbound effort against his own crossbar and away. A comedy of errors at the other end was nearly capitalised on by City, and the Baggies resistance was officially ended when Youssouf Mulumbu got himself a second caution for a reckless lunge; a moment that Balotelli must have secretly smirked at.

After comprehensively beating the champions of Europe in midweek, it was somehow inevitable that Tottenham would come crashing back to Earth with a comprehensive defeat to Bolton, at a ground they have never won at in the Premier League. The first half was dire by anyone’s standards, with Tottenham particularly playing so one-paced it was yawn-inducing. Without Lennon and Van Der Vaart they did not look inspired. The game woke up finally on the half-hour, when a dithering Sandro was robbed of possession just outside his own penalty area by Fabrice Muamba, who found Kevin Davies loitering with intent on the edge of Spurs’ box. After controlling, Davies surprised everyone by swiping his weaker left foot at it, catching Heurelho Gomes by surprise, which was surely the only excuse he could have offered for not tipping the weak effort around his post. Inter Milan nemesis Gareth Bale then made claim on the proceedings, first delivering a delicious cross which the sluggish Crouch failed to convert, before the chimp-a-like struck the outside of the angle with a whipped free-kick.
One hoped that ‘Arry’s inevitable half-time rollicking would inspire a more adept Spurs performance in the second period, but again they seemed lethargic, before Trotters’ full-back Gretar Steinsson got in on the action inside a packed box, receiving a somewhat fortunate pass from Elmander, before taking one touch and swivelling like a seasoned striker to bury the chance across Gomes. Even at 2-0 you felt Spurs could work their way back should they find another gear, and when Alan Hutton sent in a superb cross between the last man and goalkeeper, clumsy Brazilian Sandro again let Spurs down when he bizarrely tried to stab a volley in with his studs and missed, when a diving header would have produced a certain goal. Matt Taylor, who had been woeful with his shooting, amongst other things, coaxed a volley against the post to almost seal the game, before his incisive pass found Chung-Yong Lee in the middle of Spurs’ box, being barged over by the inept Benoit Assou-Ekotto, for a penalty which Davies gleefully converted against the team he loves to score against. 3-0 seemed to be the killer blow as the game seemingly petered out, but in the 79th minute the Lilywhites were shaken into action by their second most-improved player; Alan Hutton, who drove at the Trotters’ defence, then across, before curling a left foot effort into the corner of Jaaskelainen’s net. This triggered a Spurs resurgence, and the Wanderers were forced to stay put and defend their territory as ‘Arry’s boys laid siege to them. David Bentley came on and sent in an inviting cross that was missed by all, but when a dangerous Gareth Bale free-kick was only nodded up in the air by the Bolton backline, classy Russian Roman Pavlyuchenko caught it flush on the volley to lash in Spurs’ second, and suddenly a grandstand finish was on the cards. Finally, the decisive moments came in injury time. Tottenham poured forward, and sent a through-ball, bizarrely, to an onrushing William Gallas, who failed miserably to outpace Stuart Holden, before the Trotters launched an instant counter-attack, with Gary Cahill clouting a long ball to Kevin Davies, who nodded deftly to Bulgarian speedster Martin Petrov, running clean through the middle before flicking past Gomes one-on-one for the clincher.

At St Andrews, bottom club West Ham scampered into a two goal lead before surrendering two points yet again, though the officials must take some share of the responsibility for a shocking late decision that denied the Hammers a penalty. After the sprinklers had come on during the game, not much else happened in the first half, bar a contender for ‘save of the season’ from Ben Foster. Livewire Victor Obinna worked some space and sent in a decent cross, which Valon Behrami flicked on, finding an onrushing Carlton Cole, who kung-fu kicked the ball towards the corner of the net from point-blank range, only to meet with Foster’s outrageous reflexes in flinging himself full length to tip the effort onto the inside of the post and along the goal-line, before being cleared.
The second half action started early, with Luis Boa Morte taking three men out of the game with a stupendous through ball, leaving Frederic ‘Coolio’ Piquionne to apply the finish it deserved. Ten minutes later, normally reliable Scott Dann sent an awful pass to Scott Parker, who advanced and found Carlton Cole on the box edge, who then laid it across for the arriving Behrami to crash home. When Obinna later danced through only to hit the crossbar, the Hammers fans must have been pinching themselves to see their team so dominant. Only, the Clarets did what they always do; that is conceding when they need most to stay tight. Within 6 minutes of being two goals ahead, a cross was sent in for giant Serbian Nikola Zigic to knock down for the predatory Cameron Jerome to halve the deficit. The boos from the ungrateful home support had died down, and Birmingham seized the initiative, penning West Ham back for most of the rest of the game. When a good free-kick came in, Robert Green reverted to type by pushing it back into the danger zone, where Liam Ridgewell lurked to pounce for the equaliser. From then on, the Hammers were just desperate to hold on to what little they had, and were chewing their fingers to the knuckles when Cameron Jerome burst through one-on-one and lifted the ball nicely over Green, only to find defender Danny Gabbidon alert enough to knee it onto his own crossbar and away. After all this trauma, West Ham created one more great chance, when Jacobsen burst into the box, only to be halted by the clearest shirt yank from Beausejour you will ever see. If he was attached by bungee cord to the goal-post it could not have been clearer, but somehow the linesman, five yards or so away, saw nothing untoward, and the Hammers left with just a point to hardly aid their cause.

Sunderland rediscovered a morsel of their shattered pride by comfortably beating Stoke, who will again be bleating about a bizarre lack of decision by the referee to an integral moment in the match. After the crushing loss to rivals Newcastle, and missing top scorer Darren Bent, Steve Bruce introduced the only other regular Sunderland scorer this season: Asamoah Gyan. The World Cup star took just nine minutes to have an impact, when some lovely one and two-touch passing saw the Mackems cut through Stoke, and when Nedim Onuoha’s effort was well saved, Gyan gobbled up the rebound. Simon Mignolet preserved the lead when he saved well from Sunderland old boy Kenwyne Jones, and when Gyan was tugged back inside the box by Walters, the home faithful must have thought the game was theirs. Unfortunately, Bent was away, but so was penalty specialist Thomas Sorensen. Still, his deputy and hot prospect Asmir Begovic plunged to his left to keep out Steed Malbranque’s placed effort. Malbranque then saw a later goalbound effort deflected wide, while the moment of the match came with 19 minutes to go, when old boy Jones outmuscled Mignolet to send a looping header goalward, only for Lee Cattermole to leap up with his eyes closed and just about prevent it from crossing the line by heading and handling the ball not once but twice. Astonishingly, no wrongdoing was spotted, and the serial red-card merchant escaped with no admonishment. Almost immediately Jones battered another header goalwards, only to see it scrambled off the line, fairly this time. Ryan Shawcross then received a yellow card for a mindless lunge on Danny Wellbeck, before getting his marching orders eight minutes from time: there was to be no Shawcross redemption. After substitute Boudewijn Zenden sent a daisy-cutter narrowly wide, Sunderland wrapped up the game on 86 minutes, with the lively Gyan flicking wide to Richardson, whose cross was weakly stabbed away by Huth, with the loose ball rattled in by the Ghanaian.

After the West Brom debacle, Blackpool were once again involved in a goal-fest, this time holding a resurgent Everton to a draw at Bloomfield Road. With Charlie Adam bizarrely standing down from it, Neal Eardley cracked a blistering free-kick around the wall and in on 9 minutes, but within five minutes the in-form Yakubu had stood a lovely ball up for Tim Cahill to plant a header in the top corner of Gilks’ net. The same two players combined soon after, with Cahill’s effort hitting Yakubu and going into the grateful hands of Gilks, and the goalkeeper dealt with a Seamus Coleman volley equally adeptly.
The second period saw a mad goalmouth scramble inside the Everton box, with both teams accused of handball before David Vaughan cracked a shot into the body of a defender, then reacted to smash the rebound in. But the Tangerines suffered déjà vu, when within five minutes they had once again surrendered their impetus, with ex-Blackpool loanee Coleman spinning off Creaney and driving under the body of Gilks for an equaliser. Everton thought they may have claimed the win when an off-balance Pienaar stabbed a great ball through to Saha, but the Frenchman uncharacteristically sent the one-on-one wide of the target. Charlie Adam had a good effort tipped over, before Blackpool thought they had snatched a late win. Leighton Baines, who you may remember got a perfectly good Tuncay goal for Stoke chalked off by collapsing like a deck of cards under minimal contact, was up to his old tricks in going down under the slightest pressure from Marlon Harewood, who strode on to score, before being made aware of his supposed infringement. Could this be a new wave of cheating inspired by Baines? Defenders diving in order to get goals disallowed?

Aston Villa travelled to Craven Cottage craving a victory, despite missing strikers Emile Heskey, Gabriel Agbonlahor and John Carew. They started with youngster Nathan Delfouneso up front, and also included fellow youngsters Barry Bannan and Marc Albrighton, as well as, ironically the two Youngs: Luke and Ashley. Fulham had welcomed back most of their strikers, but had struggled lately, with just one win in their last six games. Predictably, Villa’s fresh faces were dynamic and inventive but not at all composed or clinical. Delfouneso headed a good chance wide before Friedel was called into action, saving from a typically industrious Clint Dempsey. Zoltan Gera then knocked down for Moussa Dembele to blaze over. Luke Young forced a save at the other end, with Delfouneso once again wasting a good chance from the rebound. Right before the half-time whistle, Carlos Salcido was caught out by a long ball over his shoulder, and Marc Albrighton seized upon it, before cutting inside and providing a delightful finish.
In the second half, substitute Andy Johnson was sent through by Dempsey, but Johnson’s lookalike Friedel smothered the one-on-one chance. Ashley Young then did the opposite of leading by example by missing a glorious headed chance and dragging a great opportunity wide. This slack profligacy was punished to the full in the last minute, when Albrighton gave away a free-kick, which Danny Murphy delivered to the back post. Towering centre-back Brede Hangeland planted a header inside the near post for a last-gasp equaliser.

The Lancashire derby went the way of Rovers, with Big Sam’s agricultural cloggers getting one over on Martinez’s cultivated architects. Ali Al-Habsi saved an early one-on-one from Mame Diouf, while at the other end Spanish playmaker Jordi Gomes fed Rodallega, whose rocket was well kept out by Robinson. The normally-peripheral and slightly tubby Aussie Brett Emerton stepped up with a superb display, first finding Morten Gamst Pedersen with a centre, which required a flying tip-over from Al-Habsi. Wigan’s Diame charged through and produced a superb save from Paul Robinson, but in the 58th minute Blackburn took the lead after they earned a free-kick near the touchline about 20 yards from goal. Though normally a crossing position, Morten Gamst Pedersen stepped up to launch a firecracker straight over Al-Habsi’s head and into the top corner for a glorious opener. Benjani had come off in the first half for Jason Roberts, apparently injured but suspiciously sulky, and the big man made the game safe when he shinned in another great Emerton cross via the post. If the crowd were impressed by Pedersen’s free-kick, they must have been pinching themselves when maverick talent Charles N’Zogbia belted a 30 yard free-kick in off the post for another fabulous set-piece goal. Wigan had a further chance to recover when Rodallega was blocked out in the box, but Rovers should have made the game safe when David Dunn’s trickery sent Chimbonda scampering into the box, finding Dunn with the return, who somehow made a complete mess of a fantastic chance for a third.


Until next time amigos.