Tuesday 25 January 2011

Gray and Keys are on their knees


A cracking weekend of Premiership action saw the top two look formidably convincing in their pursuit of the top prize, while the bottom three remains the three ‘W’s. Avram Grant was still in charge at the Boleyn, after Gold, Brady and O’Sullivan’s shameless coveting of Martin O’Neill ended with their crush revealing he was out of their league.

Manchester United found top gear for only the third time this season in destroying a woeful Birmingham 5-0 at Old Trafford, with Ryan Giggs as imperious as he has been for the last two decades; gliding about the pitch with all the effortlessness and vision he has accrued from knowing the Premier League inside out and keeping himself in formidable shape. Birmingham’s fragile defensive unity has been shattered with the long-term injury sustained by Scott Dann, and United essentially killed this game within the first two minutes, with John O’Shea flicking Giggs’ deadly corner goalwards, where Dimitar Berbatov was lurking to apply the finishing touch on the line. Ben Foster proved once again he is appalling with his feet minutes later, when he was pressured into a terrible kick which was returned for Rooney to flick on for Berbatov once more, but Foster redeemed himself; blocking the Bulgarian’s effort with his legs. On the half-hour, Rooney advanced and fed Berbatov on his outside, prompting the striker to cut outside his man and fire between the challenges of Johnson and Ridgewell and inside Foster’s near post for 2-0. Berbatov and Giggs then went mightily close as there seemed to be no end to the one-way traffic, and on the stroke of half-time came a goal of true magnificence. Dimitar Berbatov proved he could do no wrong, as he turned a loss of footing into a lovely tackle, before receiving a nice backheel from Rooney and sending the striker away with his return ball. Rooney bore down on goal and sent in a low teaser, which Ryan Giggs launched into the roof of the net at the back post. Wayne Rooney was looking like his old classy self, but still in front of goal he was a lame duck: in the second half Nani decided to get in on the act, and his great work culminated in a delicious cross that somehow Rooney headed wide from three yards when it looked easier to score. Rooney had a hand in the fourth goal too, when he brought down an uncompromising belt upfield from Edwin Van Der Sar; killing it with the greatest of ease before nutmegging Roger Johnson to find Ryan Giggs, whose low cross was stabbed in off the crossbar by the predatory Berbatov, who scored his third hat-trick of the season in the process. At the other end Birmingham at last saw a sight of goal, when awful control from Nemanja Vidic let in Matt Derbyshire, whose close-range cross-shot saw Van Der Sar get an arm to it, while at the back post Keith Fahey had over-ran the ball and couldn’t turn it into the open net from two yards out. The rout was completed in the 75th minute, when Nani, clearly frustrated, finally seized the chance to cut inside onto his left foot and whip a typical drive into the corner of Foster’s net from the edge of the box.

Arsenal were also in the mood for a mauling at home to Wigan. The notoriously unpredictable Latics can turn it on against the big boys, but at the Emirates they folded like an origami crane. The tempo was set early on, when star man Samir Nasri forced a decent save from Ali Al-Habsi. The Omanian goalkeeper is the major reason why Wigan don’t get beaten by sixes and sevens anymore, and he made an unbelievable intervention not long after the Nasri stop. Gael Clichy sent a sweet crossfield ball over to Theo Walcott, whose devious low cross was pummelled towards goal by Robin Van Persie from point blank range, but Al-Habsi threw a strong glove up in an instant to pull off one of the saves of the season. Stephen Caldwell had been drafted in as defensive cover for Wigan, meaning him and his brother Gary were playing together for the first time. Another low cross from Walcott found Cesc Fabregas in the middle this time, but Caldwell S. lunged to make a magnificent block. Wigan’s rearguard was horrendously overworked, and it was no surprise when the Arsenal siege yielded the opening goal on 21 minutes. Alexandre Song played a gorgeous slide-rule pass between three defenders to find Robin Van Persie springing a poor offside trap and smashing the ball past Al-Habsi. Another intricate Arsenal move saw a deep Baccary Sagna cross find Samir Nasri, who laid off to Fabregas for a piledriver which Al-Habsi brilliantly turned aside, before Sagna retrieved the loose ball and again found Fabregas, whose quick feet saw him nutmeg Stephen Caldwell, before Maynor Figueroa finally got in a decent challenge to conceded a corner. Van Persie sent Walcott away, and the England winger laid across to Cesc Fabregas, whose path was blocked by a defender, but Walcott scampered onto the rebound, only for Stephen Caldwell to again make a stupendous block to prevent the goal. Samir Nasri and then Cesc Fabregas were again denied by the athleticism of Ali Al-Habsi to leave Wigan going into the second half with just a goal’s deficit. With very little in return, Wigan inevitably conceded a second just shy of the hour mark. A long cross from Fabregas found Robin Van Persie goal-side of Gary Caldwell, and the razor-sharp Dutchman volleyed in superbly for his, and Arsenal’s second goal. Caldwell G.’s day got worse when Nasri slid in Fabregas, and the Scottish defender seemd to fall on top of the Spaniard; conceding both a penalty and a red card. Roberto Martinez was apparently not happy at Fabregas’ perceived gamesmanship. With the Gunners fans ready to acclaim their hat-trick hero, Van Persie conspired to leather his penalty into the stratosphere, before falling to the ground clutching his head in disbelief. The Dutchman spent much of the rest of the game on a one-man mission to complete his hat-trick; first cutting outside the remaining Caldwell and striking the post. He finally saw his dream come true when Fabregas took out four defenders with a through-ball to Walcott, who merely shielded the remaining defender as Van Persie galloped onto it and buried it inside Al-Habsi’s near post. With the Dutchman on this form, Arsenal are genuine contenders. Van Persie offers the kind of direct and clinical attacking that Arsenal’s midfield just don’t offer enough, and with Walcott providing such service this Gunners team could finally break their trophy duck very soon.

The match that could have ended the careers of Andy Gray and ‘Mr Sky Sports’ Richard Keys. After earning an unlikely victory at Anfield which contributed heavily to the demise of Roy Hodgson, Mick McCarthy lined his hungry Wolves up against Kenny Dalglish’s side at Molineux, but saw only the romance of a returning hero, as the Wanderers were laid to rest in brutal fashion. The away fans must have been thrilled to see the Liverpool midfield as fluid as its looked in a decade, with Rodriguez, Poulsen, Lucas, Kuyt and Meireles interchanging and flooding the box at will. Fernando Torres seemed to relish the guarantee of support, and Raul Meireles produced a man-of-the-match display. Torres came close after a Meireles through-ball, and the favour was returned later, only for the Portuguese to fire just wide. The female referee’s assistant was under heavy fire from Wolves fans (and messrs Keys and Gray) in the 36th minute, when Christian Poulsen put Meireles into yards of space, but replays showed the decision to be an excellent one. Meireles bore down on goal, but elected at the last minute to square to Torres, who slid into the empty net gratefully. Liverpool’s academy seems to be very top-heavy with full-backs, having produced Jon Otsemobor, Stephen Wright, Stephen Warnock and Jamie Carragher in recent years, though Carragher has of course evolved into a centre-back. The latest off the conveyor belt is Martin Kelly, and he looks very competent. Although it initially looked a strange decision, Dalglish’s choice of Kelly at right-back and Glen Johnson at left-back seems to be paying dividends, as Paul Konchesky was never good enough. Raul Meireles sealed the game with a superb sliced volley into the top corner, after a long ball had been nodded out to him by Christophe Berra. The Molineux pitch was far from lush, but Liverpool were moving about it with ease. The facially-challenged Jon Jo Shelvey came on and missed a glorious opportunity from another great Meireles ball, but in stoppage time some gloss was added to an already comfortable scoreline, when Glenn Johnson fed Dirk Kuyt, and a tackle executed on the Dutchman only let the ball squirm across to the predatory Torres, who belted it in from close range for 3-0.

Frederic Piquionne pulled a bit of a boner, as his late red card cost West Ham a man in their pursuit of defending a victory. Lining up in their horrible dirty white away kit, and under a manager many thought would be long gone by now, the Hammers took the lead after Mark Noble released Luis Boa Morte down the left flank, and the Portuguese winger appeared to cut back too far, but Jonathan Spector arrived in the nick of time to cash in. Boa Morte was later aggrieved to be denied his own goal by a narrow offside call, which was compounded when Diniyar Bilayetdinov crisply volleyed in a Fellaini knock-down; just reward for the Toffees’ pressure. Everton fans were cursing minutes later when it looked as if they had turned the game around, but after Leon Osman had deftly found Luis Saha; who spun on a sixpence and flashed in a shot that Green could only parry; Seamus Coleman contrived to volley over an open net. The Irons used this let-off to stage a claim for victory, when a hanging Wanye Bridge cross was gloriously headed into the top corner by Frederic Piquionne, for what looked like a remarkable winner. Sadly, the most misguided rule of the game ruined his moment, as he charged into the passionate throng of away supporters to earn a second yellow card. West Ham were too short of bodies to hold on for even five minutes, and after a Saha long-ranger had been tipped wide by Rob Green, an Osman dink saw Jack Rodwell flick on for Marouane Fellaini to chest down and spin to drive low into the net, with Julien Faubert falling over comically in his desperate attempts to prevent him from doing so. Avram was a sad man once again.

Apparently £24million can buy more than £27 million. Darren Bent ignored the torrent of criticism at his baffling move to Aston Villa to prove that goalscorers are certainly worth their weight in gold; earning a priceless victory to ease Villa’s relegation concerns while plunging City’s title credentials into fresh doubt. The nagging doubt that Mancitti do not know how to play when they go a goal down will not go away, and even bumper new signing Edin Dzeko could not make an impact; that is, aside from his howler of a miss late on. Shay Given continues to wait his career out on the City bench, while John Carew has moved on loan to Stoke to avoid Gerard Houllier. Carlos Tevez produced an embarrassing air-kick from a Kolarov corner, and the cock-ups continued for Mancitti, as they gave away possession yards from their penalty box, which let in Ashley Young for a great effort that Joe Hart could only parry to Darren Bent, plundering his debut goal. City spent much of the rest of the game camped in Villa’s half, their closest sight coming when Ciaran Clark’s last-ditch tackle deflected a goalbound De Jong shot onto the post, before Dzeko somehow nodded a sumptuous cross wide at the back post from six yards. When Kolarov’s sidefooted effort took two deflections to leave Friedel grounded but went wide, City’s day was encapsulated. Villa rode their luck but came away with a priceless victory, or rather a very pricey victory, consigning City to a costly defeat.

Tottenham snatched a last-minute draw from a game they looked to have surrendered, with Aaron Lennon being criminally allowed to cut inside on his favoured right foot before thumping low inside Harper’s near post. Newcastle came close early on, when a deep Jose Enrique cross seemed to miss everyone, only for Leon Best to slide in and hit the crossbar from an unfeasible angle. Spurs new boy Stephen Pienaar passed to Rafael Van Der Vaart; pulling off a devious flick to set away Defoe, who was foiled by the onrushing Harper. Just before the hour mark, Newcastle took the lead deservedly, when Danny Guthrie fired across the box to Fabio Coloccini, who chested the ball past Alan Hutton and drilled past almost namesake Cudicini. Spurs went close from Lennon in reply, while Newcastle saw Lovenkrands denied. Aaron Lennon was Tottenham’s constant threat in unfamiliar territory on the left flank, and his probing found Luka Modric, who battered the crossbar under intense pressure. Nile Ranger had come on and nearly sewed the game up when he beat Dawson and the goalkeeper, but Cudicini got enough on it to deflect it along the goal-line and away. Just as Newcastle started to believe the win was theirs, some dreadful defending allowed Lennon in on his favoured foot, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Chelski brushed aside a feeble Bolton Wanderers side without ever getting out of first gear. Despite missing Frank Lampard and having Jon Obi Mikel in midfield, Chelsea strolled it from beginning to end. The deadlock was broken after Gretar Steinsson had faffed about before losing possession on his right flank. The ball broke for Didier Drogba, who cantered forward and whinnied before unleashing a howitzer that sizzled past Jussi Jaaskelainen before he could even smell it. Petr Cech did make a superb fingertip save from a Matt Taylor header, but this was a rare foray. Any thoughts that the Trotters would make a fight of it in front of their own fans on a day when most were paying respects to fallen Bolton icon Nat Lofthouse were dispelled before half-time, when a slung-in cross saw the Bolton defence go nappy-byes. The ball found Malouda in yards of space at the back post, and he had taken control, shifted the ball to his favoured foot and shaped to shoot before Gary Cahill reluctantly decided he should probably challenge. As it was, the England wannabe’s lazy back-turning block saw the ball rebound back to Malouda, who drilled the return inside the near post, past a shame-faced Jaaskelainen. The second half saw more of the same, and Nicolas Anelka profited after numerous Bolton defenders fell over or miscued from a cross, by guiding the ball low at the centre of goal. Jaaskelainen got a full hand to his effort but only managed to spoon it into his own net. The Bolton goalkeeper continued his liquid gloves show for the fourth, which, again following some comic cuts defending, fell to Ramires, who steered it goalward, watching the Bolton goalkeeper again get a firm hand to the shot but allow it to crash in off the post. To be fair to the Finnish stopper, he then began to pull off a few decent saves to keep the score respectable, though it was certainly a case of bolting the stable door after the Drogba had (thunder)bolted.

Sunderland stuck two fingers up to Darren Bent, with a convincing victory over buccaneering Blackpool; gaining revenge for their earlier shock home defeat to the Tangerines. The early signs were not good though, as Craig Gordon’s dithering saw Gary Taylor-Fletcher close him down as he cleared, with the clearance ricocheting off the striker and towards goal, but Gordon instinctively threw up a hand to deflect it wide. Blackpool were themselves missing their own top scorer in DJ Campbell. Just 15 minutes had passed when Asamoah Gyan seized possession from a Sunderland headed clearance, and advanced before sliding in Kieran Richardson beautifully. The England man finished well, though Blackpool fans were a tad aggrieved that they had been temporarily forced down to ten men by the same man kicking Neal Eardley in the face. The Blackpool man was out of the action receiving treatment to stem the bleeding when his assailant scored. Charlie Adam displayed why Liverpool will have to raise their derisory offer for him when he began to pull the strings; first sending Sheffield Wednesday reject Luke Varney through, who was foiled by Gordon spreading himself at his feet. Adam then weaved a path through before unleashing the fury; bringing a great save out of compatriot Gordon. Of all the things Blackpool didn’t need, it was a second Sunderland goal before the break, but that’s exactly what happened on 35 minutes. Steed Malbranque showed desire to be first to a loose ball and keep it on, right on the left touchline. He advanced and slid a cute pass around the last man, which Kieran Richardson again seized on and buried rapidly, low inside Kingson’s near post. Charlie Adam tested Gordon to the limit with a ferocious free-kick, while Richard Kingson injured himself saving bravely at the feet of Bolo Zenden, being replaced by former Manchester United youngster Paul Rachubka. Young Matt Phillips was impressing once again with his confidence and step-overs, and his jinking run found substitute Marlon Harewood, who spun and fired just wide. Jordan Henderson almost made the game safe with a delicate lob, but Blackpool pulled a goal back with five minutes to go, when David Vaughan and Gary Taylor-Fletcher exchanged passes, with Vaughan going down dubiously as Nedim Onuoha appeared to pull out of a challenge. Charlie Adam slotted in the penalty to ensure Blackpool’s incredible home scoring record continued. Last season they only failed to score in one home game, and this season they are nine for nine. Truly the neutral’s team of choice.

Fulham continued their resurgence as they begin to get players back from injury, and before the game Mark Hughes and Tony Pulis made a big display of actually shaking hands. With the childish antics forgotten, the woodwork was well struck; Damien Duff thumping the crossbar from long range. A typical Stoke long ball was poorly cleared and fell to Kenwyne Jones, who battered the post. On 33 minutes Andy Johnson skated around the sluggish Ryan Shawcross, who could only watch in horror as the England man’s low cross was converted under heavy pressure by Clint Dempsey. There was to be no Shawcross Redemption in the second half, as the youngster molested Dempsey to the ground to give away a penalty and a red card. He mercifully left the pitch without tears. Dempsey converted the penalty expertly, and that was that. Andy Johnson looked as if his sharpness is returning, as he forced a late great save from Asmir Begovic, while Damien Duff forced a vital clearance which could so easily have been an own goal by Rory Delap. An interesting footnote was John Carew’s introduction as a sub, because as we know, Pulis buys flair (Gudjohnsen, Tuncay) and doesn’t play them, but big men will always have a place in the Potters’ line-up.

Blackburn continued their impressive run under rookie boss Steve Kean, with a  convincing victory over a lacklustre West Bromwich Albion; to move up to seventh. It could have been all so different had Paul Robinson not been in such excellent form. He saved well from Peter Odemwingie after Morten Gamst Pedersen had given the ball away in a ridiculous area, while opposite number Boaz Myhill saved brilliantly after seeing an Olsson strike very late. Roque Santa Cruz received a pass to knock the ball down to Christopher Samba, who fired a goalpost width wide. Jerome Thomas was leaving Michel Salgado for dead time and again, and his shot was deflected into the side netting by Samba. Cue comic genius just before half-time, as Gabriel Tamas nodded a Dunn cross magnificently into his own top corner under pressure from Kalinic. Youngster Junior Hoilett sealed the game a minute after half-time; receiving a chest down from Kalinic before crashing it into the roof of Myhill’s net. Mark Clattenburg then ruined the Baggies’ hopes, after seeing Odemwingie’s leg being swept away clearly a yard inside the box, but the referee insisted it was a yard outside, and the free-kick was wasted. Paul Robinson had an inspired day, while Blackburn could have grabbed a third late on, but after Olsson had twisted and turned and forced a parry from Myhill, the awkward bounce meant Jason Roberts could not convert the rebound. A curious footnote is that the game saw a new record of 22 different nationalities represented in the same match at one time. Cosmopolitan indeed.

Tuesday 18 January 2011

Is he sacked yet?

Avram Grant looked like a dead Dangermouse villain walking at the Boleyn, while Kenny Dalglish looked choked up and eventually very relieved on his return to Anfield. The Manchester clubs jostled for top spot, while Wigan once again nudged out of the relegation zone, soon to be back there from their perpetual habit of turning wins into draws.

Manchester United clung on to their unbeaten run by their fingertips at White Hart Lane, with Rafael Van Der Vaart and Peter Crouch inches away from breaking a terminal deadlock. Rafael Da Silva earned a very harsh red card, but earned himself no new fans with a show of histrionics at the referee which will interest the FA no doubt. Wayne Rooney also went close twice, but the red half of Machester, grateful for a magnificent defensive display from Nemanja Vidic, which strayed into the illegal with an unspotted shirt tug on Van Der Vaart, were just glad to get out with their unbeaten run, and top spot, intact.

 
A barnstorming match at Eastlands saw Mancitti briefly usurp neighbours United, though a thrashing soon turned into a very narrow victory through Wolves’ gallant fightback. Wolves took the game to City early on; a risky tactic, but City suddenly looked like a very large dog with a little Terrier snapping at them: bemused. The opening goal came on a dozen minutes and was well deserved. The ball was delivered into the City box, and Kolo Toure earned his massive wages with the most casual of attempted clearances that struck the unsuspecting Vincent Kompany and rebounded to Nenad Milijas. Joe Hart made a magnificent instinctive save, but Milijas was persistent in forcing the ball over the line. Wolves continued to press, and City had Alexsander Kolarov to thank for throwing himself brilliantly in front of Matt Jarvis, to block his goal-bound effort after some incredible trickery and industry from the Stephen with an ‘H’ and Steven with a ‘V’ on the left flank had carved the opening; Hunt and Fletcher working from being tackled right on the touchline, but strength, skill and a backheeled one-two later, and they had created what would have been one of the goals of the season, but for the heroics of Kolarov. Wolves fans must have been concerned that this dominant period hadn’t been capitalised on fully, and they were right. Mancitti started to regain the initiative, with Tevez sending a range-finder whistling narrowly over, before expensive new boy Edin Dzeko had a shot well blocked. It took until five minutes shy of the break for City to level affairs. Kolo made those wages slightly easier to bear when he met a deep corner at the back post, and forced the ball over the line, despite a covering defender.
In the second half City commenced something of an onslaught. After a long-range Kolarov effort was spooned just wide by an anxious Hennessey, Carlos Tevez produced a moment of true class to swing the game in the Sky Blues’ favour. The Argentinian star picked the ball up midway into the Wolves half and began to advance menacingly. Before they knew it, Wolves had seen three of their men beaten by his weaving run and the ball find the corner of their net. City were on the front foot now, and the Bosnian that everyone had been talking about suddenly took centre stage; picking up the ball from a rapid counter midway inside his own half, before exchanging passes with Tevez, nutmegging a defender and slipping the ball outside the last man for the galloping Yaya Toure to burst onto and sweep past the advancing goalkeeper without breaking his stride. Ronald Zubar showed Wolves were still hungry for the fight with a powerful header that thudded off the top of the crossbar from a corner, but the game appeared to be a formality on 65 minutes, when Pablo Zabaleta’s sumptuous delivery was excellently nodded in off the underside of the crossbar by his prolific compatriot Tevez for 4-1. Mancitti had reckoned without another overly expensive dud costing them a penalty. Joleon Lescott was all over the back of Kevin Doyle; molesting him to the ground and watching the same man bury his spot-kick to reduce the arrears. Christophe Berra made an unforgiveable cock-up later that should have put Wolves to bed; the dozy defender with time to clear back into enemy territory trying in vain to bring the ball down, leading to Yaya Toure picking his pocket, and using those long long legs to power forward free, but this time Hennessey saved one-on-one to keep the fightback a possibility. Ronald Zubar went one better with his next header, guiding a corner exquisitely into the most unguarded area of the goal, with De Jong a fraction too late in attempting to hack it off his goal-line. With five minutes of injury time, the conclusion of the game was manic, with Wayne Hennessey having to make a crucial tackle on the halfway line after advancing way out of his goal, and James Milner rounding Hennessey at the death, only to see his effort slid away from the net by Karl Henry.

Baron Von Grantback looked ever more the demoralised undertaker as his position, under intense scrutiny, became more untenable with an appalling performance against Arsenal, who took it easy on the Hammers, as they could have won by far more than a three goal margin. Theo Walcott and Robin Van Persie looked sharp as a box of knives, and ripped the Hammers defence to ribbons time and again. Wayne Bridge, who was kept out of the Chelsea team by one love cheat, and out of his marriage bed by another, came from Mancitti on typically extravagant wages of reputedly £90k a week. On this form he is worth about 90 pounds a week. West Ham fielded a backline of supposedly some of England’s finest examples of the defensive art. Robert Green, Matthew Upson, Wayne Bridge, and a prospect in any other side: James Tomkins, formed four fifths of the backline, and yet Bridge was culpable in all of the goals, Upson was far from a barrier, Green did very little and Tomkins failed in many vital tackles which led to the goals. Theo Walcott fooled Bridge in the 13th minute, drilling in a lovely low cross which was sublimely dummied by Nasri, allowing it to run to Van Persie, who sent it into the net like a cruise missile despite the futile attention of Tomkins. Walcott burst onto a long pass off the shoulder of Tomkins later, who had a chance to tackle, but only succeeded in delaying Walcott’s progress. Luckily for the youngster, Green rushed out to narrow the angle and Walcott fluffed his shot. Johann Djorou then proved he would look at home in the Hammers’ defence, by playing a dopey underhit backpass to let in the marauding Carlton Cole, whose shot was well saved by Szczesny, though the ball was returned into the mix, where Zavon Hines somehow fired a glorious chance over the crossbar from six yards. Robin Van Persie went in for the kill again from Nasri’s beautiful pass, but his shot struck the opposite post and came out. Van Persie did make the difference just before half-time, wriggling to the byline, past a non-existent challenge from Upson, and putting in a low cross which Bridge was favourite for, only to allow Walcott to nip round his man and fire in from point-blank range. Carlton Cole ruined another breathtakingly simple chance before the break, when a perfect cross from Freddie Sears was begging to be nodded in, only for the forward to let it hit his shoulder, then Djorou and across goal. West Ham offered next to nothing of note in the second half, and Bridge’s day was complete, when he was suckered into an awful challenge which brought down Walcott. Robin Van Persie rattled in the penalty, and the Hammers misery was exacerbated. Avram tossed his lucky scarf into the crowd, and not many would punt on him still being manager in a week’s time, what with the toxic trio making such an embarrassing spectacle of coveting Martin O'Neill.

Yet another fantastic spectacle involving Blackpool, and West Brom recovered from their six straight defeats in all competitions to snatch a priceless victory at the Hawthorns, helped in no small part by some typically profligate finishing from everyone’s favourite disc jockey: Dudley Junior Campbell; or Dud as his friends call him. After just ninety seconds, Campbell brilliantly dodged a sliding tackle inside the box, only to fire his shot just wide of the post with the goal at his mercy. The big talking point from the Baggies’ line-up was former captain Scott Carson being dropped for one clanger too many, replaced by former Hull goalkeeper Boaz Myhill. He could not do much about David Vaughan’s crisp strike from the edge of the box after a corner fell to him though, and Blackpool took the lead. Peter Odemwingie, who had been having something of a torrid time of late, apparently saw a psychologist in the week, and it worked if this performance was anything to go by. Initially the Nigerian crossed for Chris Brunt to meet on the volley at the back post, only for Stephen Crainey to make a goal-saving block. Crainey later dangerously deflected a cross that the alert Kingson dealt with, but he was beaten coolly by Odemwingie on 37 minutes, after a defence splitting pass from Graham Dorrans found the Tangerine offside trap faulty. The second half had hardly begun when Charlie Adam played a defence-splitter of his own, but DJ Campbell fired just wide of the opposite post, again with the whole goal at his mercy. Jerome Thomas produced some classic wingplay in beating two men and sending in a teasing low cross, which Kingson lazily flung a hand at, only to parry it straight to James Morrison, who netted to put West Brom in the driving seat. Kingson then partially redeemed himself; saving well from Morrison and brilliantly in a one-on-one with Odemwingie, after Charlie Adam had been hustled off the ball by Yousouff Mulumbu. Odemwingie worked more magic to set up Morrison again for an easy chance, but the Scot lost his head and dug his shot over the bar with just Kingson to beat. 80 minutes had elapsed when Blackpool’s boundless vigour paid dividends. Young prospect Matt Phillips was well found lurking on the right-hand side of the Baggies’ area, and he sent in a lovely low cross for Gary Taylor-Fletcher to finish at the back post. ‘Ollie could have been forgiven for celebrating a well won point, but there was a sting in the tail, as West Brom negated their usual passing game for an old-fashioned hoof forward, which Craig Cathcart took his eye off with Odemwingie at his back; a fatal error, as the Nigerian seized on the chance as it bounced and lashed into the net for the winner. There was still time for one last Tangerine surge, but DJ Campbell’s swivelled effort was smothered, as West Brom held out to end their rotten run.

The Merseyside derby that signalled the end of the last Kenny Dalglish era at Liverpool returned, as the Scousers’ returning idol took charge once more at Anfield. Despite two defeats in two, there was mass optimism and emotion from the stands as ‘King Kenny’ sent out his troops once more, almost twenty years to the day since he last did. The early signs were promising, as Fernando Torres turned Sylvain Distin, cut inside Johnny Heitinga and thumped the post, only for Dirk Kuyt to make a hash of the rebound. Just before the half-hour the promise turned to gold, as makeshift left-back Glenn Johnson broke down the left, before cutting back to his favoured foot and crossing for Kuyt to have Howard save twice, before Raul Meireles finally turned the ball in. Fernando Torres sent in a ferocious shot that Tim Howard did well to parry, and Phil Neville did enough to keep the high loose ball away from Meireles. Liverpool came off at half-time with the fans singing of their returning messiah, but the last man to win a league title for Liverpool was not looking so pleased with himself just after half-time, when a corner that shouldn’t have been was headed down and in by Distin at the back post, despite Johnson’s efforts. Liverpool had reason to feel aggrieved at the corner even being awarded as it clearly touched an Everton boot last, and their marking may have been wayward after Daniel Agger was forced off feeling ill at half-time. Their sense of injustice swelled to breaking point five minutes later, after right-back Martin Kelly as clattered in an aerial duel with Victor Anichebe, leading to Leon Osman showing deft touch in weaving round two defenders before rolling the ball into Jermaine Beckford, who let the ball run across his body despite Meireles’ pressure, and fired in. The red half of Merseyside were incensed that Phil Dowd hadn’t stopped play for what looked like a head injury, but Liverpool retrieved the result when a Meireles deep cross was miskicked comically by Martin Skrtel, tempting Tim Howard to come and claim, which he did despite Maxi Rodriguez rushing in front of him, and the Argentine took full advantage of the goalkeeper’s folly; throwing himself down and watching gleefully as Kuyt dispatched the penalty superbly. Three games; one point, but the fans don’t care. Their hero is back.

The Tyne-Wear derby was nothing like as one-sided as earlier in the season, and Sunderland fans were ecstatic that they reclaimed some semblance of pride, after two bad performances in this fixture. Titus Bramble had one of those afternoons when his mind took a vacation, and he let Shola Ameobi through early on, though the striker fired wide. Darren Bent cut inside Fabio Coloccini but struck his shot at Harper, before Coloccini produced a volley at the opposite end which needed diligent post-sentry Kieran Richardson to clear off the line. Harper turned a Malbranque effort wide, and Ameobi headed a corner wastefully over, before Newcastle finally got the breakthrough on 51 minutes. A deep corner was nodded back by Ameobi and off a Sunderland defender, for Kevin Nolan to backheel cheekily into the net. Leon Best then turned the dozy Bramble and fired just wide, but Newcastle still felt it was their day again, until deep into injury time, when a scramble culminated in Phil Bardsley drilling in a great effort which Steve Harper made a complete pig’s ear of, parrying the ball straight out onto Asamoah Gyan, who just comically shrugged at fans as he watched the ball ricochet off his knee and loop into the net for a last-gasp equaliser. The game was followed by the sad news of Darren Bent handing in a transfer request, which seems to demonstrate extreme ingratitude.

The third big Sunday derby saw a third draw, with Villa grateful in the end for James Collins’ equaliser which looked suspiciously like a Liam Ridgewell own goal, though the Birmingham woodwork will need reinforcing after the battering it took from the Villans. The atmosphere was electric at St Andrews, and the game swung one way then the other. Ben Foster proved he is awful with his feet, when he made a fool of himself attempting to turn his way out of a challenge from an encroaching forward, before clearing lamely to Gabriel Agbonlahor, who advanced menacingly and seemed set to score, only to fire his shot way over. If there’s a better crosser in the Premiership than Marc Albrighton right now, then he must be special. The young winger delivered a typically superb stand-up for Agbonlahor to head towards goal, which Carew then flicked onto the top of the crossbar from close range. Former Villa boy Craig Gardner created a fantastic chance which Matt Derbyshire missed with an embarrassing air-kick, while a Ciaran Clark cross-shot thudded agonisingly against the crossbar. James Collins was forced into turning an Alexander Hleb effort off the line, after Stephen Carr had delivered a dangerous cross. David Murphy tried to claim a Brum penalty when he went down suspiciously easily, but Birmingham had their goal just after the break, from what turned out to be a comical free-kick routine. Craig Gardner drove in an appalling free-kick which hardly cleared the ground, but it took one nick off the wall, and David Murphy inadvertently guided it into the path of Roger Johnson, who instinctively stuck out a boot to guide it in. Villa’s response was Ciaran Clark sending in a tantalising cross, which Roger Johnson attempted to chest but actually narrowly avoided handballing and narrowly avoided putting into his own net. At the other end Matt Derbyshire’s thunderous shot was well saved by Friedel, and Kyle Walker launched clear before Gardner arrived. Villa finally got their rewards when another peach of an Albrighton cross saw James Collins swivel to volley goalward. It looked a fraction wide until it nicked off the inside of Liam Ridgewell’s legs and found the net. Substitute Nathan Delfouneso made a big impact, first setting up Stewart Downing for a chance which Foster spread himself to block, then cracking a rocket against the bar via the fingernails of Foster. In the meantime, Richard Dunne stole in at the back post after a corner was not cleared, beat Foster but not a defender patrolling the goal-line. Villa were cursing their luck, but they were almost floored by the ultimate sucker-punch, when in the dying seconds a hoisted free-kick seemed to be landing into a complacent Friedel’s hands, only for beanpole Serb Nikola Zigic to steal in front of him and flick it agonisingly wide of the post. A cracking derby in the Second City.

Chelsea finally strung two Premier League victories together with a victory garnered through two scrappy goals from set-pieces Sam Allardyce would have been proud of. After Ramires had struck the crossbar from a David Hoilett error, Branislav Ivanovic’s lack of concentration let Hoilett in at the other end, with Cech producing a very good save. Didier Drogba, still looking lacklustre, sent in a low bouncing cross into a great area, which strike partner Nicolas Anelka helped onto the crossbar. Drogba then came off second best in a one-on-one, but in the second half Chelsea got the breakthrough. A corner was flicked on by John Terry to find Ivanovic lurking at the back post. The Serb got the ball out of his feet in a flash, bamboozling three covering defenders to poke the ball past Robinson. This seemed to knock the stuffing out of Rovers, and it was no surprise that Chelski sewed the game up on 76 minutes. This time Ivanovic was provider; heading a corner down for Anelka to plunder from close range. Roque Santa Cruz made a cheery return for Rovers, which should bode well as they fight to stay well out of the relegation dogfight under their former coach Steve Keane. Still no news of Big Sam at Inter Milan strangely.

Stoke beat a lightweight Bolton team comfortably at the Britannia. Whether he watched his youtube video or not, Tony Pulis finally decided his team needed the flair of Tunçay from the start, and the Turk responded by delivering the corner which was inadvertently flicked on by Johan Elmander for Danny Higginbotham to bundle in, though replays suggest it was not strong enough to cross the line until Jussi Jaaskelainen knocked it over with his arm. Bolton once again missed the guile of Chung-Yong Lee, who is with South Korea in the Asian Cup, but Stuart Holden did his best to rouse his team-mates; sending a dangerous free-kick in that Begovic parried well. Tunçay then created the second in the second half; sliding in the only man to rival Albrighton in the crossing stakes right now; the in-form Etherington, who was brought down under a rash challenge from Zat Knight. Etherington picked himself up to bury the penalty with some fortune; Jaaskelainen getting a strong hand to it but only pushing onto the post and in; meaning he provided the decisive touch to both Stoke goals. There was a brief late revival from the Trotters, with Begovic called into action from Taylor, and then a superb tip over from Moreno.

Wigan-Fulham was a dead-cert to end a draw, as it always does. And it did. The Latics began with a flourish, with a pacey counter involving Watson and Ronnie Stam culminating in a lovely cross from Stam that Rodallega attacked viciously, only to watch his superb header cannon back off the post. Damien Duff was then put clean through, but dithered and did not look confident; Al-Habsi winning the one-on-one battle. The first half ended tamely, but just before the hour mark Wigan took the lead. After their neat passing game had yielded nothing, a launched kick from Ali Al-Habsi was criminally allowed to bounce by Aaron Hughes, who could only then watch helplessly as Hugo Rodallega kept his head to guide a deft lob over David Stockdale’s head for the opener. An amazing Wigan break, when only N’Zogbia and Rodallega took on four Fulham defenders and almost won but for a skewed volley from the Colombian ensued, and the same two combined for Rodallega to spin and strike the post for the second time in the game. A slack Wigan tendency to allow wins to dissipate into draws returned late on though, when Andy Johnson found his shooting boots again, albeit incredibly fortunately. Clint Dempsey, who had earlier had a potential equaliser disallowed from a superb handball spot by the linesman, sent a cute reverse pass into Johnson’s pass, and the England forward got it out of his feet, but fell over as he shot, deflected it against Gary Caldwell, and almost had it saved by Al-Habsi, but fate conspired to allow the shot to bounce limply over the line for a game saving goal that the injury-plagued forward deserved for his non-stop endeavour. Wigan, however, will be cursing their luck and lack of clinical finishing which once again leaves them on the cusp of relegation.

Until next time….

Thursday 6 January 2011

Heskey and Carson keep on howlin'


Manchester United enjoyed the perfect week, as they beat Stoke, before hearing of all of their closest rivals dropping points, including Manchester City and Arsenal drawing with each other. The tabloids have stoked the flames of animosity against four Premier League managers; Avram Grant, Roy Hodgson, Gerard Houllier and Carlo Ancelotti; all apparently clinging to their jobs by thin margins.

Manchester United dispatched Stoke in a surprisingly narrow victory at Old Trafford. Javier Hernandez started in place of the injured Wayne Rooney, while Chris Smalling stood in for Rio Ferdinand. The former opened the scoring with a typical finish of unorthodox brilliance; backheeling Nani’s driven cross inside the near post under extreme pressure from Ryan Shawcross. The latter, meanwhile, may have felt slightly disappointed at standing so far off Tuncay, who used the occasion to demonstrate the flair and vision Stoke need so badly at times; sending in a perfect cross for the astonishingly unmarked Dean Whitehead to nod into the corner of Kuszczak’s net. United regained the lead when Hernandez twisted and turned on the edge of a packed Stoke box, before sliding it into Nani, who took a touch outside his man and rattled into Begovic’s net with a left-foot rocket. Despite another mediocre performance, United now sit two points ahead of the chasing pack with games in hand.

How Arsenal managed to draw a blank at home to Mancitti only the goal-frames will know. Robin Van Persie just failed to connect with a low cross from Jack Wilshere after a move that cut swathes through the City defence. Van Persie then followed that with a splendid effort that crashed off the foot of the post, before Jack Wilshere was set away by Cesc Fabregas but could only hit his effort at Hart. City’s rare counterstrikes all seemed to fall to Carlos Tevez, and he miscued the first chance which fell to him on the volley at the back post. Another sublime Arsenal move saw Samir Nasri craftily nudge the ball back to Fabregas, only to once again watch an effort come back off the City goal-frame. Walcott then arrived to complete the hilarity by battering the other post, but he had been flagged offside. Tevez had another chance wasted before Arsenal claimed what would have been a hugely harsh handball against Vincent Kompany. Robin Van Persie later fired a shot wide from an impossible angle, and had a speculative long-ranger brilliantly saved by Joe Hart, and the game ended with two extremely harsh red cards. Baccary Sagna seemed to be the aggressor towards Pablo Zabaleta after the Argentine objected to a challenge, with Sagna even thrusting his head towards him, yet Mike Jones deemed a red card for both to be appropriate punishment.

Roy Hodgson suffered yet another day to add to his collection of humiliations as Liverpool manager. Losing narrowly to Wolves is one thing, but being comprehensively beaten by Blackburn, who have a completely unqualified manager in charge, is quite another. The consolation goal, and brief recovery at the death led by Steven Gerrard could not disguise the fact that they were 3-0 down within the hour. After Joe Cole briefly threatened to influence the game in the opening minutes, Mame Biryam Diouf combined with Benjani Mwaruwari, with the former sending his strike over the bar. After a fairly tepid opening half-hour, a marvellous reverse ball between defenders by Mame Diouf sent Martin Olsson bounding through to finish through Reina’s challenge. Sotiris Kygriakos then shamed himself, allowing Benjani to receive a ball with his back to goal, before turning the Greek defender effortlessly and smashing the ball into the roof of the net while the dozy centre-back was still turning. Despite Blackburn’s midfield comprising of David Dunn, Martin Olsson, Morten Gamst Pedersen and Junior Hoilett, Liverpool could not outbattle them, and Martin Skrtel and Glenn Johnson were culpable as Hoilett wriggled to the byline and squared to Benjani for a tap-in and 3-0 just before the hour mark. Liverpool’s away following has shrunken considerably recently, and even the fans left must have mostly left by the time Liverpool showed any signs of life. Dirk Kuyt dinked in a cross which Torres attempted to volley home. As his effort came back off a defender, Steven Gerrard adjusted consummately to crash it in. Minutes later and the one-man comeback was truly on, when Michel Salgado lunged in to take down a surging Gerrard, but when he picked himself up his penalty found the upper stand, to leave Liverpool fans disconsolate and Hodgson on borrowed time.

Wolves delighted their fans and humbled European Cup winner Carlo Ancelotti, as they stole a priceless victory against the team with the worst form in the country right now. With all of their big guns back, many expected Chelsea to kick back into top gear in this match, but once again their confidence seemed to be bereft. They fell foul of a corner bundled into his own net by the luckless Jose Bosingwa; under heavy pressure from Chelsea bogeyman Stephen Hunt, in just the fourth minute. Wayne Hennessey preserved their lead with a remarkable reaction save as he was going the wrong way; sticking a toe out to deflect Kalou’s certain goal wide of the post. Didier Drogba turned his man and hit the post, while Stephen Hunt also clipped the Chelsea goal-frame with a free-kick. It was by no means all one-way traffic, and Chelsea fans must be asking themselves where they go from here.

Avram Grant seemed to have earned himself a reprieve with two wins and two draws from his last four matches, but they came at a time when all of the teams around West Ham were also picking up points. Defeat was probably expected at St James’ Park, but a 5-0 thrashing would appear to be another nail in his Premier League coffin. The game was a game to remember for young Leon Best. With just fourteen minutes and much injury so far in his Newcastle career, the big striker seized his opportunity in the absence of Andy Carroll to plunder an impressive hat-trick, though the West Ham defence may as well have dropped their shorts and mooned him for all the resistance they offered. A hoof upfield was won in the air against a weak Tomkins challenge by Best, who raced into the box to receive the dinked return from Peter Lovenkrands; guiding the ball away from the static Green and into the corner. The second goal saw Danny Gabbidon use his opportunity to clear to lay the ball off for Leon Best to belt in his; and Newcastle’s, second. The third saw West Ham waste myriad opportunities to close the delivery down at source; allowing Jonas Gutierrez to send in a poor cross, which led to James Tomkins copying Gabbidon in laying the ball off for an opponent to rattle it in; this time Kevin Nolan the recipient. In the second half, Nolan slid in Leon Best to beat a non-existent Hammers offside trap and lash in his hat-trick with aplomb. Peter Lovenkrands stole in front of his man and guided Joey Barton’s low cross inside the near post for 5-0, and there was even time for a little comic relief; a lovely Newcastle move carving West Ham apart, culminating in a square ball for Nile Ranger to tap into an empty net, only to see the youngster unbelievably turn the ball back to its source, which looked remarkably like playing a one-two with someone who had ran out of play rather than scoring.

Just when Tottenham had the chance to put daylight between them and rivals Chelsea, they slipped up to a more clinical Everton at Goodison Park. Just 3 minutes had elapsed when Saha blew away the cobwebs with a direct run and fine finish inside Gomes’ near post. Rafael Van Der Vaart then almost lobbed Tim Howard from 30 yards, contrasted to Peter Crouch missing a headed sitter put on a plate for him by the Dutchman. Spurs’ relentless attacking finally paid off when Crouch nodded a Hutton cross across goal for Van Der Vaart to finish, though replays suggested Crouch may have given his man a good shove in the process. Luis Saha was breathing a sigh of relief at the linesman flagging when Crouch finished a Bale move, as he gave the ball away needlessly in a dangerous area. Seamus Coleman fired a glorious chance into Gomes’ hands, while Howard saved well from Van Der Vaart. Saha then vollied a Coleman cross a fraction wide to the agony of the Goodison faithful, and they thought it was all over when Van Der Vaart ghosted between centre-backs, but their goalkeeper did brilliantly again to deny the classy Dutchman. The Toffees’ fans were treated to what they most wanted in the 75th minute though, when Jermaine Beckford held off his man and fed Luis Saha, who sent in a thundering drive too hot for Gomes to handle, and Seamus Coleman arrived to finish and sent the Goodison faithful into raptures. Back to the drawing board for Harry.

Gerard Houllier was once again not flavour of the month, after his Villa side lost to Sunderland at home. It could have all been so different, had Emile Heskey not conjured up one of the misses of the season early on. Bolo Zenden made a rare cock-up in failing to shepherd the ball out of play from Stewart Downing, who robbed the Dutchman and sent in a low cross which Heskey managed to turn onto the crossbar from just four yards out. Sunderland survived that scare to offer some thrusts of their own. After beating James Collins to the ball, Darren Bent rounded the goalkeeper and shot, only to see Collins recover to slide it off the line. Emile Heskey then compounded his bad afternoon by being sent off, after reacting to Jordan Henderson’s anger at Villa not putting the ball out of play for an injured Gyan by pushing the Sunderland man in the face. Wise old head indeed. Sunderland stuck the blade deep into Villa hearts with ten minutes to go, when a blocked Zenden free-kick was controlled by Phil Bardsley, before being unleashed into the bottom corner with flames on it from the edge of the box. Bolo Zenden was then also red-carded for a very soft second yellow card, but Sunderland’s day could not be spoiled.

Chris Kirkland had the kind of luck he has come to expect from his football career to date at the Reebok Stadium. Having lost his place for his calamitous form this season to Ali Al-Habsi, he finally regained his place for the game against Al-Habsi’s ‘parent’ club Bolton, only to be carried off on a stretcher. The game was nothing short of dire in the first half bar a thumping Rodallega free-kick parried well by Jaaskelainen, but the second period saw Bolton come closer and closer to breaking the deadlock, with Gary Cahill nodding a corner over from close range after Kirkland had came and missed. A cute move saw the Trotter ease ahead. Kevin Davies gave the ball to his namesake Mark in the middle of the park, and the midfielder advanced before sliding a glorious ball between defenders which Rodrigo Moreno raced onto before lobbing the ball deftly over the advancing Kirkland. Kirkland’s afternoon then got a lot worse, when his bravery saw him collide heavily in a 50-50 with Johan Elmander and be carried off with concussion. 38 year-old Mike Pollitt stepped between the sticks and produced two blockbusting saves from Johan Elmander, one either side of the well-worked equaliser. After feeding Hugo Rodallega, Ronnie Stam sensed an opportunity and raced into the box. His gamble paid off when Rodallega spotted Steven Gohouri overlapping in yards of space. The Ivorian then made up for his awful mistake against Newcastle by providing a beautifully-judged low cross that Stam could not miss at the back post. After Pollitt denied Elmander for a second time, Fabrice Muamba had one last chance to grab the glory, but skied it wastefully to leave it a point apiece.

Another gloriously open game involving Blackpool saw a team that usually hate open affairs take the points home. Ben Foster had to be at his best to deny Matty Phillips, but Blackpool were undone when Stephen Crainey had a meltdown; giving the ball unforgivably to Alexander Hleb, who, despite Kingson’s best attempts, finished excellently. Foster then had to pull out another great stop from a Charlie Adam dipper, while Birmingham were gutted to see first Cameron Jerome hit the post after chipping the onrushing Kingson, then Sebastian Larsson with a belting free-kick. Blackpool ignored these threats to continue to pile forward, and got their just desserts when a cross was nodded down by Gary Taylor-Fletcher for DJ Campbell to volley in brilliantly. The woodwork then felt Charlie Adam’s fury, as the pendulum swung one way then the next. Tangerine hearts were broken with two minutes remaining though, when Birmingham caught the ambition bug and threw both centre-backs up, with Roger Johnson nodding a deep cross down for central defensive partner Scott Dann to control and sidefoot in from close range. Another defeat in the grandest manner that left all neutrals with a big smile on their faces.

Fulham ignored the negativity from the press to destroy a West Brom side struggling to field a defence. John Pantsil made the situation worse when he got away with an ugly and reckless stamp on Marek Cech’s knee which saw the defender crocked. Fulham took the lead thanks to the kind of howler you know Scott Carson always has up his sleeve, on the half-time whistle. After Dickson Etuhu had won the ball, Simon Davies picked it up and struck a speculative effort from distance. Carson then got both hands to it with the strength of someone swatting a fly, and it flew through him and into the net. If that took the wind out of the Baggies’ sails, worse was to follow, as Fulham increased their lead to three with two identikit corner routines; the first converted by Clint Dempsey; the second by Brede Hangeland. With their lack of defenders, it was a clear West Brom weakness that the Cottagers exploited brilliantly, and surely now the press needs to stop the ludicrous hyperbole involving Mark Hughes’ future.

Until after the FA Cup break….

Tuesday 4 January 2011

All change


All change at the bottom as 2011 made its bow. After the public ultimatum to Avram Grant, he has won 2 and drawn 2 of his last 4 West Ham matches, moving the Hammers clear of the bottom three for the first time in yonks. Wolves flattered to deceive with their Anfield victory, and plunged straight back to the bottom, while Fulham once again join them, along with Alex McLeish’s deadly dull Birmingham side.

Mick McCarthy was fuming as all the old familiar failings cost Wolves dearly against the team formerly below them in the table, while Avram must be privately quite smug at managing a team outside the bottom three for the first time in over a year. It started the way it normally does at Upton Park: with Carlton Cole missing a sitter, after George Elokobi had made a dog’s dinner of a clearance and presented the ball to him. Richard Stearman was then called to Wolves’ rescue, brilliantly clearing a Freddie Sears effort off the line. In response, Robert Green saved from first his own defender and then a decent header from Christophe Berra. The first half ended goalless, though it was hard to see how. Wolves don’t score enough goals, and you sensed they were always prone to a howler at the back. So it proved in the 51st minute, when Frederic Piquionne beat the Wolves offside trap to send in a low cross which Carlton Cole couldn’t miss. Though of course, he managed to, with the most humiliating of air-kicks, which sent the ball behind him to hit the luckless Ronald Zubar, who had come back to track him but only succeeded in inexplicably kneeing the ball past his own goalkeeper. It was hard to see who was more embarrassed about the whole affair, but West Ham were grinning from ear to ear. West Ham nearly sewed the game up but for Wayne Hennessey, who tipped a Matthew Upson header onto the crossbar. Wolves suffered the same fate to deny them an equaliser, when Ebanks-Blake met Foley’s cross powerfully, only for the woodwork to intervene. They were made to pay in the last ten minutes, when Scott Parker fed Tal Ben-Haim on the overlap, and the manager’s son sent in a low cross that was buried by the onrushing Freddie Sears.

Chelsea wallowed in more gloom, after their hubris from a late potential winner backfired on them in stoppage time. With all their big guns back but not firing, and Villa suffering their worst run in a long time, this was a match between two managers feeling the pressure of expectation. Lee Mason decided to be heavy-handed early on, and dished out bookings like late Christmas cards, particularly to Villa, who ended up with a fine-worthy seven players cautioned, to Chelsea’s two. Villa conceded a penalty in the 22nd minute when James Collins stupidly leapt over the top of Florent Malouda, who gratefully threw himself to the ground. Frank Lampard gobbled up the penalty, and it seemed like this was a routine Chelsea win in the offing. The recalled Richard Dunne was instrumental in thwarting the Chelsea surge, particularly with a brilliantly-timed last ditch tackle on Florent Malouda inside the penalty area. This proved even more valuable when Villa won a penalty of their own five minutes before half-time, when Michael Essien crashed through the back of Nigel Reo-Coker with a sliding challenge. Ashley Young converted, and the game was once more on. Just after half-time, Villa took the lead, to the bewilderment of the home crowd. A superb Stewart Downing stood-up cross with his weaker foot was powered home above Jeffrey Bruma by Emile Heskey for 2-1. But after Didier Drogba had forced home a late equaliser, Chelsea went nuts after Drogba’s effort was pushed away by Friedel, only out to John Terry, who arrived to guide the rebound home with his weaker foot in the last minute. Cue wild celebrations, where Drogba encouraged the throng of delirious players to the Chelsea bench to indulge in an orgy of backslapping and revelry. This was soon exposed though, as a delicious cross from substitute Marc Albrighton was nodded in by the completely unmarked Ciaran Clark for the most unlikely equaliser in stoppage time. Houllier breathes again, Ancelotti scowls.

Sunderland banished the memory of their astonishing home defeat to Blackpool by returning to winning ways at the Stadium of Light; an inevitable victory over a rudderless Blackburn. Danny Wellbeck kicked off the scoring, after Ryan Nelsen had headed Elmohamedy’s cross not far enough away, and then deflected Wellbeck’s effort in via the post. Another superb Elmohamedy delivery was converted by a classic header from Darren Bent, and the game was effectively all over. El-Hadji Diouf embarrassed himself by skying a chance from six yards, while the super-confident Wellbeck clipped the top of the crossbar with a lovely chip. A fabulous Sunderland move ensued when Steed Malbranque sent a devious reverse ball to Kieran Richardson, who sent in a deadly cross that Darren Bent let hit him and go wide when it was easier to score. Another super move saw Jordan Henderson strike the angle of post and bar with a stunning effort, before Blackburn saw to their own demise; being caught cold by a lightning counter attack that found Asamoah Gyan on the edge of the box. The Ghanaian advanced, using the defender as a shield for whipping the ball inside the far post, though reserve goalkeeper Mark Bunn hardly covered himself in glory.

Stoke got back to winning ways at the Britannia with a victory over goal-shy Everton, though they were fortunate not to concede an early penalty when Ryan Shawcross missed the ball and booted Luis Saha in the crown jewels. Matty Etherington has been imperious this season; the fulcrum of Stoke’s attacks even ahead of Rory Delap’s shoulders. Once again his industrious wing play saw him dink a superb cross on Kenwyne Jones’ head, and the Trinidadian did what he always does and planted it into the net. Another excellent headerer; Tim Cahill, unbelievably skewed his header across goal from close range, to the general bemusement of those present. Danny Higginbotham did well to deflect a dangerous Pienaar strike over, and it ended 1-0 to the home side at the break.
The second period saw Stoke kill the game in typical fashion; a long ball was flicked on by Jones, Ricardo Fuller challenged and missed, while Phil Jagielka made a buffoon of himself by scoring an own goal via his own crossbar. There was still time for Jagielka and Distin to challenge each other, leaving Fuller to round the keeper but lose his footing at the crucial moment.

Manchester United came away with a nice New Year’s gift from West Bromwich Albion; winning a game they were fortunate to draw, after Fergie had once again shown a hitherto unseen sense of blind sentimentality by picking Gary Neville. We know the Da Silva twins are a tad error-prone, but Neville should have retired with dignity three years ago. The longer he continues to pretend he is still of Premier League standard, the more times he will be found out and cost United valuable points. That he didn’t in this match was more down to Chris Foy’s inability to spot his ridiculous challenge from behind that wiped out everything but the ball on Graham Dorrans, and Neville was also fortunate to escape after waiting for a bouncing cross to reach him at the far side of the area rather than intercept. The ball was stolen off his toes but to no cost. At the peak of his powers, Neville was a 7/10 performer every week. He might have had the odd 9 and the odd nightmare, but consistency was his watchword as long consistency in his selection was shown. Since his injury-ravaged years, he is down to a 3/10, as he has no pace, few reflexes and does not even appear to use his nous to get him out of trouble like he once could. Against Stoke a few weeks back he should have been red-carded for a challenge so late the crowd had gone home. It seems both Fergie and referees hold some degree of affection towards Red Nev, here appearing in his 400th Premier League match, but surely this is the season after which he is put out to pasture. United did take the lead after just two minutes, when a decent cross from Patrice Evra was missed at the front post but instinctively nodded home by Wayne Rooney, who still looks a shadow of his former self, but started earning those megabucks when he reappeared to play the final few minutes out with a sore looking injury, as all substitutes had been used. The Baggies were on top for most of the first half, and levelled the game on 14 minutes, when a long ball upfield was headed out under pressure by Nemanja Vidic to the edge of the box, where James Morrison caught it flush and sent it launching into the corner of Kuszczak’s net. The second half saw the injustice of Neville’s penalty escape partially reprieved, when Rio Ferdinand tripped a tricky Jerome Thomas, but Peter Odemwingie, who is suffering a poor patch of form at the moment, scuffed the penalty a yard wide. He was made to pay the ultimate price when Paul Scharner switched off at a corner and allowed substitute Javier Hernandez yards of space to leap in front of the goalkeeper and glance a header into the net. There was still a counter-thrust from Albion when Jerome Thomas again weaved a path through to goal, and left Kuszczak helpless as he passed into the corner. Unfortunately for Thomas, Nemanja Vidic had been astute enough to drop onto the line and cleared his shot comfortably.

Amid a Bolton injury crisis, Liverpool grabbed a vital win to ease the pressure on Roy Hodgson. Maxi Rodriguez made quite an impact early on, having one shot cleared off the line, and a header hitting the top of the crossbar, before Bolton surprisingly took the lead. Fabio Aurelio conceded a free-kick in dangerous territory when he went through the back of Rodrigo Moreno, and the resultant delivery from Matt Taylor was headed in unchallenged by Kevin Davies for a half-time lead. The natives were most certainly restless, but it didn’t take many second half minutes for Liverpool to level the scores. Four minutes to be precise. Lucas had just missed an absolute sitter, but before the fans’ ire was truly vented, Glenn Johnson dinked to David N’Gog, who chested the ball down for Steven Gerrard to coax a magnificent first-time cross over to the lurking Fernando Torres, who buried the equaliser. The fans were getting edgy as time ticked away and chances were missed, but finally the Kop erupted, when Gerrard bent in another awesome delivery, and Rodriguez pressured Elmander into getting a touch past his own goalkeeper, which an offside Joe Cole stabbed in on the line. The fact that Elmander had the final touch made his infringement irrelevant, but some could suggest being offside continually from the original cross was an unfair advantage. When the dust had settled, Liverpool had snatched a win at the death, and Roy was in the mood to build bridges with his somewhat hostile spectatorship.

Mancitti saw off the usual guts and glory attacking performance of Ollie’s Tangerine Army, but not without Joe Hart pulling off a string of fine saves, though Carlos Tevez had what Blackpool fans usually call a ‘DJ Campbell day’; missing a string of chances, a penalty and falling over after rounding the goalkeeper. David Silva also missed a sitter which owed more to the fact that Tevez had played the return pass slightly behind him. City’s winner came from a deflected Adam Johnson strike, but there were many positive aspects once again for Blackpool, particularly another excellent showing from young Matty Phillips, who skinned Kolarov more than once. The future’s bright: the future’s Tangerine.

Birmingham were beaten comprehensively by Arsenal, despite their best efforts to ‘rough them up’. These efforts unfortunately overstepped the mark a little too frequently, particularly Lee Bowyer, and an appalling stamp tackle by Roger Johnson which was almost identical to Martin Taylor’s ankle-shatterer on Eduardo which should have seen red. Lee Bowyer deflected Robin Van Persie’s free-kick past Ben Foster for the opener, but Birmingham were galled when Robin Van Persie got away with heading onto his arm inside the penalty box. Roger Johnson managed to sky an absolute sitter from barely six yards out; just desserts for his earlier assault, while Samir Nasri brilliantly exchanged passes with Cesc Fabregas and used Roger Johnson as a shield to score inside Foster’s near post. Birmingham’s, and Johnson’s, humiliation was complete in the 65th minute, when Nasri put on his ballet shoes again to tiptoe around the crowded box, sending one defender over before teeing up Fabregas, whose shot was pushed out against first Scott Dann, then Roger Johnson and in for a farcical own goal.

Tottenham-Fulham proved a match in which a moment of ingenuity decided the outcome, with Gareth Bale brilliantly deciding to flick his head to divert a Rafael Van Der Vaart free-kick past Mark Schwarzer and in, minutes before half-time. In the second half Andrew Johnson almost levelled for Fulham, but Michael Dawson kept his head to clear after almost putting the loose ball in his own net, while Aaron Lennon left Jermaine Jenas fuming, as he declined a pass to his unmarked team-mate; instead taking on three players and blazing hopelessly over.

Wigan are far too shot-shy right now, and without Charles N’Zogbia they lack a direct threat. Tom Cleverley was excellent as always, and Rodallega threatened briefly, but the truth is painfully clear: Roberto Martinez needs firepower, and fast. Mauro Boselli can be added to the names of Jason Scotland and Franco Di Santo, as a striker who just cannot deliver. Newcastle left the DW clutching a win, chiefly through Wigan’s own carelessness at the back. Some lovely composed passing out from the back left Ben Watson teeing up Steven Gohouri to volley clear. Unfortunately, the dozy Ivorian decided to attempt to control with no view as to who was around him, and was dispossessed by Joey Barton, who fired across Al-Habsi. The Omanian goalkeeper did well to save but could not hold onto the ball, leading to Peter Lovenkrands striking the post, before Shola Ameobi had the simple chance of putting in an unguarded net. Fabriccio Coloccini and Stephen Taylor both later hit the bar for Newcastle, while Gary Caldwell also struck the bar for Wigan, but the most eye-catching moments came from unsavoury moments of Newcastle cheating. Stephen Taylor’s play-acting when he handles the ball is getting tiresome now, but it didn’t stop him glancing at the ref before clutching his ribs and pretending to be winded, when the whole ground saw the ball strike his arm. This was small potatoes though compared to Chekh Tiote’s painfully embarrassing and shameful simulation. The bullish Ivorian had had a fine game, but sullied it when he crashed over on the touchline from nothing in particular, and attempted to hide the ball. When Gary Caldwell attempted to extract it from his grasp, Tiote responded by ridiculously screaming and clutching his face; rolling around for effect. If Howard Webb had seen the whole incident he should have shown a red card to complete Tiote’s shame, but as it was nobody really paid any attention to the very silly boy. Wigan are back in the relegation zone, and Martinez needs to provoke some goals out of his side.