Gunners shoot selves in feet

Arsene Wenger cut a disconsolate figure as his Arsenal team surrendered their slender chances of a title win at the Reebok, while West Ham’s renaissance is well and truly over, as they sink back to the bottom of the league.

‘Chicharito’ was the late hero as Manchester United took a step closer to clinching their record nineteenth top-flight Championship crown by seeing off a resilient Everton at Old Trafford. Hernandez had already tested Tim Howard’s reflexes, first with a snapshot turned aside low down at the American’s near post, the second brilliantly parried after Rooney had found him deftly lurking with intent just outside the six yard box. He then inadvertently ruined Nani’s chances of opening the scoring, after Luis Antonio Valencia had outmuscled Leighton Baines and sent in a low cross. Hernandez slipped at the crucial time as Nani dispatched a shot towards the far corner of the net, only to see it strike the Mexican on the ground, and send it wide. Victor Anichebe and Rio Ferdinand went arm to arm in the box, and the Everton striker went down in a heap, though the fact his final touch had practically taken the ball into Van Der Sar’s arms probably negated the chance of a spot-kick. Jack Rodwell gave United a taste of what they may try to buy, he executed a smart turn and shot from the edge of the box, which called Van Der Sar’s agility into question. The Dutchman responded with an outstanding tip round the post at full stretch. Michael Owen was surprisingly brought on, but responded with a typical poacher’s movement across the front post for a Fabio cross, and his effort deflected off Sylvain Distin and onto the outside of the Everton post. United continued to lay siege to the Toffees’ goal as the game progressed into its latter stages. Patrice Evra bombed forward and found Valencia with a thunderous volley which cannoned back off Jagielka, and was returned with a dinked cross by the Ecuadorian winger, which Hernandez brilliantly climbed to meet, but Howard even more brilliantly tipped over. Everton’s centre-backs were immense, but they were to be undone in the 84^th minute, when Distin slipped, and from the resulting loss of possession was faced by a wily Valencia, who left him for dead as he delivered a cross which nicked off the Frenchman and looped up invitingly at the back post, where Hernandez had peeled off to with some fantastic movement and nodded down and in with Howard helpless. This win set a new club record for United: 13 home victories in a row. Not bad for a side even their own fans have rated as mediocre for much of the season.

Chelsea confirmed they are now the only credible challengers to United, as they spanked West Ham at Stamford Bridge. With Drogba, Malouda and Kalou starting as the attacking trident, the pattern of the game was dictated very early. A Drogba flick let in Florent Malouda, who forced a manic Green to fly out and block, after just two minutes. West Ham did hit back though, through some great work from Freddie Sears, who nudged the ball past Cashley Cole, and incredibly did him for pace, before cutting back and delivering a cross which Spector was caught in two minds about. Eventually the American stooped to head, and Cech turned it round the post. Sears then almost topped this with an audacious backheel volley as the corner missed everyone else, but Cashley was covering his goal line superbly. The game approached the break in soaking conditions, after some torrential rain, and the Hammers may have had one eye on the dressing room as Chelsea launched a late attack in the half, with Drogba sliding a fabulous ball between defenders to release Cashley on the left. The full-back then cut back for Frank Lampard to nearly take the net off with a magnificent drive. The second half saw Chelsea seek to kill the game off, and a Lampard shot was well parried, with Malouda extremely wasteful later on in the same passage; hitting only the side netting when so much more was on. Prolific Brazilian centre-back David Luis then thundered the crossbar from all of 25 yards, while the Hammers launched an immediate counter-attack which culminated in a Ba effort being parried, and Keane shot being gathered by Cech. West Ham began to seize the initiative, but Carlton Cole made a pig’s ear out of a sow’s purse as he declined to fire a great low cross in first time, instead taking myriad touches to try and elude the attentions of three Chelsea defenders and eventually crashing to the deck without the ball. Robbie Keane then confirmed why he has gone from playing for English and Scottish Champions’ League teams to relegation battlers, when a lovely slide-rule pass found him ten yards from goal with space, only for him to inexplicably knock the ball wide of the post, to the general astonishment of the away players and fans. Finally, the much maligned man came on for Drogba, with most fans rolling their eyes at the introduction of Fernando Torres, who has even been missing his banjo these days. However, Torres seemed to take to the watery conditions like a duck to…water. He received a cute pass from Lampard and slid it across early to put Nicolas Anelka clean through. The Frenchman beat Green with his shot, but not Gabbidon, who had manned the line adeptly. Finally, the roof came off of Stamford Bridge, as Anelka returned the favour and found a delightful through-ball to release the Spaniard. As Torres burst into the box he looked as if he would round Green, but the ball held up in a puddle. The crowd prepared to groan, but Torres simply turned in a flash and buried it with his left foot. Cue ten-man pile-on. After Torres recovered from that crushing, he inadvertently continued his good form, as his strange pass found not its target, but Florent Malouda, arriving on cue to unleash the fury all the way into the roof of the West Ham net. Game, set and match.

Arsenal fans have come to expect a disastrous dénouement to a title challenge, and more often than not at the Reebok Stadium. Once again, their fragile grip on a potential title was wrenched away by Bolton Wanderers. The Gunners set the tempo early, with Theo Walcott, once again having a season of unfulfilled potential, seeing a cross-shot saved then cleared. The England winger then claimed a penalty under a dubious challenge from Matt Taylor, and replays showed it should have been awarded. Cesc Fabregas took the initiative and ran purposefully through the heart of the Trotters before firing just wide. Bolton were gutted they didn’t deliver a sucker-punch, when Chung-Yong Lee burst clear, but inexplicably attempted a backheel across to Taylor, who was guarded, and the chance was gone. Johann Djorou’s error let in Matt Taylor; an omen of things to come. Szceszny produced a great save from Lee as Daniel Sturridge crossed, but Bolton did take the lead when a corner was headed over the line before Nasri could clear by Gary Cahill. The referee hadn’t signalled and linesmen hadn’t flagged however, so it was necessary that Sturridge forced in the rebound. Arsenal responded quickly, with Fabregas striking the post from twenty yards, but they were almost out of it, when another naïve error from Djorou saw him concede a soft penalty, as Sturridge got goal side of him and went down. Fortunately for the Gunners, Kevin Davies produced an inept spot-kick and they equalised rapidly, with Robin Van Persie exchanging passes with Fabregas and drilling the return home. Samir Nasri could have swung the game Arsenal’s way, but was foiled first by Jaaskelainen and then Cahill. Marouane Chamakh then bizarrely attempted to head across to Nasri rather than head towards goal. Some karma returned to haunt Paul Robinson; whose appalling challenge had crocked Abou Diaby in their last meeting; when Chamakh slipped and accidentally upended him painfully. Sczeszny made a late save from Elmander, and most fans were hoping Arsenal could snatch a late winner, but disaster struck when substitute Tamir Cohen darted to the front post to head in a corner in the closing stages, with Nasri miserably ineffective on the post. Cohen then emotionally stripped off his shirt to reveal a t-shirt paying tribute to his dead father Avi. Arsenal were finished, while Bolton continue to hold their own in the top eight.

Wigan were dropped straight back into the relegation zone, as Sunderland ensured their safety with a four-goal blitz, despite losing all of their remaining strikers through injury during this game. The Stadium of Light saw a nightmare scenario staring them in the face, as Phil Bardsley and Danny Wellbeck were stretchered off within twenty minutes. The first half only saw one decent chance, when Lee Cattermole’s ponderance almost cost him, but Rodallega’s thumping drive was beaten out by Mignolet. The second half saw things go from bad to worse for the Mackems, as Mohammed Diame turned brilliantly on the edge of the box, and unleashed a super strike past Mignolet to put Wigan a goal to the good. This lead lasted just over two minutes, as a free-kick not cleared properly saw Steed Malbranque deliver a fine cross which Asamoah Gyan rose to head in above the crowd. Just as Sunderland saw a route back, their star striker Gyan pulled up from a chase with a hamstring pull, and Sunderland were strikerless. Sulley Muntari came on, and he was involved with the second goal, as Jordan Henderson brilliantly chested his teased return across the box past two defenders, and rattled in at Al-Habsi’s near post. Stephane Sessegnon was then clattered by Wigan captain Antonin Alcaraz for a blatant penalty; duly dispatched by the aggrieved. The fourth goal caught Wigan cold with a lightning counter-attack, though there was an incredible lack of responsibility in their defence, as players ambled back in no particular hurry, leaving Sessegnon to pick out two Sunderland men in ten yards of space inside the Wigan box. Henderson once again took responsibility, and finished crisply. Wigan only got a consolation in the last minute, as a lovely pass set Moses away into the box, and his cross was drilled low through a defender’s legs for Franco Di Santo to poach at the back post, incredibly only his second goal in 67 appearances in the English game.

Wolves were left galled, as a telling double substitution saw Fulham snatch a draw with just ten minutes remaining. Fulham began the brightest, with Mexican left-back Carlos Salcido cutting onto his right foot and belting an effort in from outside the box which required an excellent save from Hennessey. Salcido then sent in a delicious cross, but his American team-mate Clint Dempsey missed a sitter in the middle of the box, as he skied the chance. Stephen Fletcher got the reward for his endeavour, as he headed in a cross at the back post to leave the Molineux fans dreaming of salvation. Jamie O’Hara almost improved the picture with a spin and shot which went narrowly wide. Wayne Hennessey inexplicably failed to cut out a low cross, but Karl Henry proved the hero as he dived in front of Moussa Dembele to leave his net intact. Guedioura sent in a cracker which was saved at full stretch by Schwarzer, and it looked as if Fulham were finished. That is, until their three inspired substitutions. Zamora and Kakuta were sent on after 69 minutes, but the breakthrough came ten minutes later, with the introduction of livewire Andy Johnson. A long clip forward saw Zamora knock the ball down in the box under heavy pressure, and Johnson took a deft touch to control before readjusting his feet and burying the chance. Kakuta then almost turned the game completely on its head, but his lovely dribble and shot was kept out at his near post by Hennessey, to leave both teams somewhat satisified with their afternoon’s work.

Despite the history of this fixture suggesting a draw, Liverpool conspired to humiliate Birmingham City at Anfield, with the most unlikely of hat-trick scorers. Well, other than maybe Jamie Carragher! Maxi Rodriguez, the Argie with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, gobbled up a rebound after a shot from Jay Spearing; the man with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasps nest that fell from the ugly tree before the ugly tree fell on his face, was spilled by Ben Foster. Some superb work from Luis Suarez then found Dirk Kuyt in the box, and despite his first effort being saved, the Dutchman with a face like a butch tranny in a blond ringlet wig spun to fire in the rebound expertly. Things then went from bad to worse for Brum, when Foster was carried off, following an injury attained in the collision with his own man Carr in a bid to stop the second goal. Kuyt headed a free-kick across goal and wide to leave it 2-0 at the break. Luis Suarez delivered a great cross for Maxi to volley in his second, and Liverpool’s third, from close range. When Luis Suarez played in Rodriguez again, substitute goalkeeper Doyle beat his effort out, but Jiranek, in his panic to clear, only succeeded in sliding the ball straight back to the Argentine, who gleefully dispatched his hat-trick. The rout was complete when Colin Doyle made a prat of himself, fumbling substitute Joe Cole’s cheeky near post drive embarrassingly into the net for 5-0.

Spurs were crestfallen at giving away a priceless lead to resurgent West Brom, as Roy Hodgson continues to navigate the good ship Albion safely into the Premier League docks for next season. Peter Odemwingie; who has been a revelation in his debut season in the Premier League and would surely have been a strong contender for Player of the Year had he not experienced injury and a bit of a slump mid-season; superbly took down a deep cross, outmuscled Benoit Assou-Ekotto, and switched feet to expertly steer the ball across Gomes for the opener just five minutes in. Spurs almost equalised quickly, but William Gallas missed a sitter when he sent a close-range header over from a Rafael Van Der Vaart free-kick. The Lilywhites did get back on level terms before half-time, through a moment of pure class from Roman Pavlyuchenko. The Russian received a short pass on the edge of the box, deftly switched feet and cracked a left-foot drive in low via the post. Minutes later, the Russian proved he is mortal when he blazed a rebound over after a crafty effort from Van Der Vaart had been parried to him. An Odemwingie header was brilliantly saved, and then Jermain Defoe’s moment of immortality came. Searching for his 100^th goal for Tottenham and his 100^th goal in the Premier League, he took on Youssouf Mulumbu before firing a left-foot bullet into the corner of Albion’s net; reaching not only those two landmarks, but also scoring Tottenham’s 1000^th Premier League goal at the same time. Tottenham perhaps got caught up in the glory of the moment, but this bubble of contentment was burst crudely in the 81^st minute, when Simon Cox received the ball at the corner of the 18-yard box, skipped outside Gallas and whipped a lovely effort over Sandro’s head and into the top corner to earn a crucial point which probably sees the Baggies safe, whilst simultaneously crushing Spurs’ hopes of usurping Mancitti into that precious Champions’ League berth.

Mancitti’s £27million boy Edin Dzeko joined Fernando Torres in the ranks of the relieved, as he finally began paying back his huge price tag with a crucial winner against Blackburn at Ewood Park. Rovers are crumbling, as this was their tenth match in a row without victory, and they sit just one point above the relegation zone. Despite re-signing talisman Roque Santa Cruz, Rovers have suffered from a chronic lack of firepower, and many would say they have the most to fear of all the relegation-threatened teams, having no Sam Allardyce to turn to when you need percentage play to drag you out of the mire. Mancitti carved them open in just the third minute, when David Silva struck the post, and Gareth Barry saw his header cleared off the line by Michel Salgado before Blackburn offered some resistance in the form through Samba and later Olsson hitting the side netting. David Silva just missed the target with a curling effort, before Adam Johnson was replaced by that man Dzeko, and within three minutes he had struck the decisive goal; smashing a poor Phil Jones clearance from a Silva cross into the net in an instant. Still Rovers had a chance of salvation, but Jones’ night got worse as he headed a great chance over, and Hart denied Olsson.

Blackpool are still alive and kicking, after picking up a crucial point at home to Newcastle, but will be kicking themselves that they couldn’t rediscover their early season cutting edge. Martin Atkinson did the Seasiders no favours when he turned down a blatant penalty, as DJ Campbell nicked the ball away from Mike Williamson, who swiped and missed the ball totally, sending Campbell down. Gary Taylor-Fletcher then sent a shot narrowly wide and agonisingly missed a cross, before Charlie Adam lazily gave the ball away, leading to Lovenkrands receiving it and driving it home from the edge of the box. Blackpool were seething that they were denied another penalty claim through a moment of farce. An incredibly moronic backpass across his own area by Jose Enrique saw Tim Krul scrambling to reach it. DJ Campbell got to the ball first and went down under Krul’s challenge, though replays show the striker actually poked at goal a split second before going down, and Krul turned the shot away before their collision. Blackpool got themselves level just after the half-hour, when DJ Campbell flicked a corner in at the near post. Jose Enrique, having one of those games, was clearly standing a couple of yards behind the line when he attempted to head it clear, thus the goal was awarded. Matty Phillips had a good effort saved and then claimed Danny Simpson had handled his return, while a scramble ensued later on in the Toon penalty box. A Charlie Adam cross was nodded back across goal by Ian Evatt; a centre-back who spends more time in the opponent’s area than his own; and an Alex Baptiste volley was cleared off the line. A magnificent Phillips cross was then only directed into the side netting by Campbell, before Taylor-Fletcher headed a glorious chance over. The chance for a win ended with a thud, when Charlie Adam picked the ball up and drove a crisp shot through Simpson’s legs which came back off the post and away. If Blackpool go down it will be a tragedy for the Premier League.

Surprise FA Cup finalists Stoke City grabbed a surprise away point, as Aston Villa edged further clear of danger in the absence of their convalescing manager. Brad Friedel produced a couple of outstanding saves from first Huth and then even better from Jones, but a long, flat throw from Rory Delap saw Jones outjump Richard Dunne to give the Potters the lead. The equaliser was clinical in its execution, as a Walker cross saw Darren Bent run across the ball and glance it in off the post superbly. Ricardo Fuller had the ball in the net late on, but it was disallowed for a clear offside, and both sides were reasonably happy at the end; looking forward to at least another season of this fixture.

Pool fall down

As the two underdogs reached the FA Cup final, the Premier League saw little movement at the top, but much at the bottom.

Wigan Athletic grasped the survival bull by the horns and rode it to temporary safety with a crucial win against fellow relegation candidates Blackpool, who were well and truly gored. The Bloomfield Road faithful were desperate to see Blackpool stop the rot and put some daylight between them and the bottom of the table, but instead it was the Latics who finally lifted themselves from the foot of the table and indeed out of the danger zone, however temporarily. Ian Holloway would surely have instilled the importance of defensive discipline in his players, but you just can’t legislate for the kind of slapstick buffoonery displayed by Ian Cathcart within a couple of minutes of kick-off. With a free-kick just inside Wigan’s half, there was absolutely no danger, until Cathcart played the ball away from all nearby team-mates, and watched in horror as Charles N’Zogbia pounced and bombed into the Blackpool half with half the opposition in his wake. Cathcart then completed his comedy masterclass by slipping on his backside in retreat, allowing Hugo Rodallega to make a diagonal run through the heart of the Blackpool defence, receive a slide-rule pass from N’Zogbia and drill across the advancing Gilks for the opening goal. Wigan got away with a slip up themselves, when a Crainey cross saw Alcaraz take a tumble as Campbell got a touch, but not a potent enough one to send it into the net as it drifted just wide. A tidy Wigan Athletic move saw Diame feed Charles N’Zogbia, who could only find the side netting, and Ian Holloway must have thought he would be making a half-time speech on how to recover from a goal down, before his talk got a lot tougher. It was another comedy of errors when a throw-in that should have been sent up the line found Charlie Adam short, who bizarrely surrendered what should have been a comfortable pass, to Charles N’Zogbia scenting blood. The French winger galloped forward and had both retreating Blackpool centre-backs with twisted blood as he made his way into the box, before brilliantly poking the ball wide of a stunned and flat-footed Gilks for a magnificent individual goal. You could almost hear the Tangerine despondency. Blackpool’s attempts to recover before the half ended were foiled when Al-Habsi dealt with a Grandin header comfortably. The second half saw the usually composed Gilks flap at an N’Zogbia cross-shot, and it was 3-0 when Diame was allowed to find room on the edge of the box to strike a shot that cannoned in off the luckless Neil Eardley. Blackpool continued their enviable home scoring record late on after Charlie Adam’s free-kick fell to Matty Phillips, who sent in a lovely low cross converted ahead of Gary Caldwell by the predatory DJ Campbell. Hot prospect Phillips later had a jinking run culminate in a decent shot, but Al-Habsi covered it, and Blackpool now suffer the inevitable consequence of their appalling run, as they sink down among the dead men. Can their insatiable optimism see them out again?

A ludicrous finale to this match saw Arsenal throw away yet another lead, as their long-suffering fans accepted they cannot win the title. The game began with such Arsenal dominance that it was difficult to foresee such a climax. Abou Diaby had already flicked a Nasri free-kick narrowly wide when Laurent Koscielny beat Jose Reina to a Van Persie corner; seeing his header bounce back off the crossbar. Van Persie himself was denied a superb volleyed goal by the linesman’s flag, while at the other end Luis Suarez bobbed and weaved an opening, but lost control at the point of shooting. When Fabio Aurelio was forced off with injury, Liverpool were forced into having two teenagers; John Flanagan and Jack Robinson; at full-back, a position which the Liverpool academy seems to produce for in abundance. The two seemed to be coping well, but in the second half the veteran Jamie Carragher suffered from heading the top of Flanagan’s head and knocking himself unconscious. This long stoppage led to the injury time which saw both goals. Suarez and Kuyt cut Arsenal’s defence to ribbons, but Suarez’s shot was well saved by Szczesny. An intricate Arsenal move saw Van Persie put in, but his shot was superbly dealt with by Reina. Finally, six minutes into stoppage time, Fabregas performed a drag-back inside the Liverpool box, bought hook line and sinker by the facially-challenged Jay Spearing, who took him down. Van Persie executed the perfect penalty, and the Gunners hoardes were in raptures. Little were they to know that a moment of foolishness from Emmanuel Eboue would surrender their short-lived lead in the eight minute of stoppage time. After Dirk Kuyt had almost caught out Sczczesny from the kick-off, the ball found its way into the Arsenal half . Lucas was fouled, and from the resultant free-kick, the same player chased a loose ball going away from goal, and Eboue stupidly barged into him as the Brazilian cynically stopped and bought the foul. Kuyt bagged the penalty, and Wenger got in a spat with Dalglish, as the game ended in farce. The Gunners fire blanks once again.

The battle of the Clarets ended with West Ham once again spilling into the gutter like a cheap bottle of plonk, while like a fine vintage, Villa get better as the season progresses, picking up vital points which should see them clear of danger. The Hammers were definitely happy after a couple of minutes, when a scramble from a corner culminated in Hitzlsperger nodding the ball back in for Robbie Keane, who spun and fired in from close range, after being played onside by the sluggish man on the post. Carlton Cole then took an awkward ball superbly on his chest, before swivelling and forcing a low save from Friedel. Darren Bent was aggrieved when he was denied a well-taken equaliser for an alleged push on Jakobsen, though it appeared as if the West Ham defender just failed to get off the ground early enough. David Dunne was then fortunate to get away with a typically clumsy last-man foul on Carlton Cole sans red card, and this looked a vital decision when Villa did equalise. Mark Noble fatally dithered in clearing inside his own box and was dispossessed. Ashley Young worked an opening and whipped in a peach of a cross which was dispatched via the head of Darren Bent. Bent then forced Rob Green into an excellent near post save, while Green had to be even more agile to tip a superbly bent free-kick from Ashley Young wide of the mark. Darren Bent then contrived to miss his usual sitter, when he made a pig’s ear out of a Kyle Walker cross. Carlton Cole had a chance when the ball bounced over Richard Dunne, but the England striker couldn’t convert. Villa looked to have earnt a draw, but they got their just rewards for attacking intent when Stewart Downing advanced in the last minute, cut inside his man and drilled at goal. Green saved but could only parry, and the ball was eventually picked up, turned and crossed by Ashley Young for Gabriel Agbonlahor to score a priceless last minute winner which lifts Villa as high as ninth; ending their relegation fears and renewing West Ham’s.

Sunderland continue to plummet, as they lost to a Birmingham side who are edging towards safety. Cameron Jerome was foiled in a one-on-one, before Sunderland almost scored. The tenacity of Lee Cattermole won the ball in the Birmingham box, and a scramble ensued, before the loose ball was hammered towards goal by Sessegnon, only to see Roger Johnson manipulate his body to block on the goal-line. Birmingham’s goal was a sucker-punch few saw coming, as the normally excellent Simon Mignolet boobed big time. Jerome flicked on a Foster hoof, and Mignolet clearly called for the ball as Bardsley attempted to shield. Mignolet did not get to the ball in time, and allowed Larsson to steal in and poke under his body as Bardsley chastised his goalkeeper. Asamoah Gyan curled a shot which was expertly tipped wide by Foster, while Jordan Henderson bent a shot just wide. Lee Cattermole forced a low save, and Barry Ferguson was forced to make another goal-line clearance as Turner attempted to force a corner in. The Sunderland pressure looked intolerable as Danny Wellbeck headed another corner narrowly over, but it was Birmingham who notched a second against the run of play, as Craig Gardner picked up a pass on the edge of the box and unleashed a swerving left-foot drive past Mignolet’s despairing dive. This appeared to knock the stuffing out of the Mackems, and Birmingham could have had a third as substitute Alexander Hleb broke and slipped a lovely through-ball to Matt Derbyshire, who showed the advantage of looking up, as he failed to and scuffed an embarrassing effort well wide.

West Brom finally lost under Roy Hodgson, to a Chelsea side who look most clinical when their season has already faded into obscurity. The Baggies began bravely, after Morrison laid back to Mulumbu, who cleared the crossbar. An intricate set of passes under pressure saw Jerome Thomas fend off three defenders and play through John Terry for Peter Odemwingie, who dinked the ball lovingly over the advancing Cech for a cracking opener. Unfortunately for the home fans, Scott Carson was in one of those moods where an inexplicable clanger is just around the corner. Cashley Cole stabbed the ball wide for Salomon Kalou on the overlap, and his low cross should have been dealt with, though Carson misjudged it spectacularly, missing it even at full stretch, and when a desperate Shorey’s attempted clearance only fell invitingly for Didier Drogba, the writing was on the wall. West brom’s lead had lasted less than five minutes. Less than five minutes after that goal, Chelsea were in front. Perhaps the Baggies were caught feeling sorry for themselves, as Drogba rode a challenge and fired in a shot which was spilled by Carson, who then did not cover himself in glory as Kalou struck the loose ball across him and in. Carson finally did something right when he dealt with a stinging Lampard free-kick, but when a Chelsea break saw Florent Malouda lay back to Frank Lampard, this time the England midfielder took a touch and drilled in before two defenders could challenge. Didier Drogba then proved his worth at the opposite end by clearing off the line, while Salomon Kalou went from the fantastic to farcical, when his attempt at a diving header failed miserably. He almost returned to fantastic with a lovely swivel and shot, but the effort incredibly bounced into the ground off a defender, and back up onto the crossbar. Everyone’s favourite target of mockery came on, and immediately had to deal with the derision that follows when you think you have finally broken your scoring duck, only to look up and see the linesman’s flag taunting you. Chris Brunt could only direct a fantastic headed chance straight at Petr Cech in reply, before it got even more embarrassing for Fernando, as his team-mates were obviously doing everything to get him a goal. A Malouda free-kick was laid to Torres in space as West Brom went to sleep, but the Spaniard completed his afternoon with a horrendous miskick.

The injury-crippled Everton keep on trucking, as they picked up another fantastic victory at home to relegation candidates Blackburn. Beckford and Neville had both seen efforts saved, before French youngster Magaye Gueye cracked an effort just over. The Toffees’ hero of the hour has recently been Leon Osman, and the diminutive midfielder received a short corner, beat a statuesque Emerton and drove a well-placed shot across Robinson, which took a nick off Samba’s toes as it flew in. Everton’s second arrived when young Phil Jones foolishly whipped Seamus Coleman’s leg away inside the box, and Leighton Baines converted the penalty adeptly. Blackburn looked poor throughout, and their best chance was thrown away, when Baines and Jagielka crashed into each other and the ball fell invitingly to Morten Gamst Pedersen, who somehow volleyed wide with the goal at his mercy. Rovers continue to drop, Everton continue to rise.

No change for a change

No change at the top or bottom in one of the more predictable weekends of Premiership action so far.

Manchester United comfortably brushed off a Fulham side who have yet to shake off their reputation as easy touches on the road. Fulham actually began the game the stronger, with Chelsea loanee Gael Kakuta producing a classy backheel turn and snapshot which was well saved by Tomas Kusczak, while Bobby Zamora screwed a chance set up by a rare Scholes error well wide. The Cottagers were made to rue this profligacy, when a superb move saw the home side open the scoring. Dimitar Berbatov backheeled to Nani and got on his bike. Nani dipped and swerved past three men, before playing a one-two in a hugely tight area with Anderson, and in the same movement beautifully slipping the ball through for Berbatov to slot home. Replays showed a marginal offside decision, but the Bulgarian was allowed the benefit of the doubt. Anderson dragged his effort wide after being put in by Berbatov, but it was 2-0 just after the half-hour, with Patrice Evra superbly setting Nani away, who duly rounded the goalkeeper and attempted to lob the goal-line defenders. The first defender saved the goal, but only delayed it a second, as it was nodded over the line by the well-placed Valencia. The rest of the match was remarkably languid, bar an Anderson effort beaten out by Schwarzer, and a cracking rising drive from Eidur Gudjohnsen which was fantastically saved, though not noticed by the officials, by Kusczak. Finally, Zamora found Chris Baird rampaging from full-back, but he could only clear the crossbar with his effort. United looked comfortable without Rooney, suspended of course for swearing into a Sky Sports camera after netting a hat-trick against West Ham. A few ‘experts’ have suggested his behaviour was ‘unprecedented’, though they must have very short memories:

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/european/drogba-rages-as-chelsea-crash-out-in-blaze-of-fury-1680489.html

A tremendous spectacle at the Stadium of Light ended with Roy Hodgson celebrating a crucial victory, at the same time as extending his unbeaten stewardship. The Baggies’ board might have shown grotesque disloyalty to Roberto Di Matteo, but they have partially redeemed this with their choice of successor. Hodgson has instilled a defensive nous into West Brom, apparently without compromising much of their attacking verve, and in doing so has almost guided them to safety with six games remaining. Meanwhile, Sunderland’s appalling run of one point from seven matches became one from eight. In fact, since Darren Bent left, they have amassed just four points from a possible twenty-seven. It all seemed so promising when Elmohamedy pressured Nicky Shorey into heading a Gyan cross into his own net. But West Brom are made of stern stuff these days, and they came roaring back with a close-range equaliser from Peter Odemwingie. Sunderland shrugged this off when Kieran Richardson laid off a free-kick for Phil Bardsley, with the aid of a slight deflection, to unleash into the top corner. Mackems fans were gleeful at the break, but it was all to be turned to despair in the second period, as only the Baggies came out bouncing. Some patient passing and movement around the edge of the Sunderland box saw a series of intricate one-twos let in Youssuf Mulumbu to stab cutely past Mignolet with the outside of his boot. A Brunt free-kick was nodded down by Olsson to force a magnificent point-blank save from Mignolet, before another patient and precise build-up saw substitute Andy Reid slide the ball down the line for Odemwingie, who pulled back for Paul Schnarner to ghost in between defenders and guide the ball into the net for a glorious winner.

Liverpool confirmed their renaissance under Kenny Dalglish by wiping the floor with Champions’ League place contenders Mancitti. Andy Carroll scored a brace, putting his ‘makeweight’ Fernando Torres in the shade, while for City it was the worst possible circumstance before their FA Cup semi-final against city rivals United, as Carlos Tevez limped off with a hamstring injury. Uruguayan schemer Luis Suarez had already seen an effort from him tipped against the post by Joe Hart, but when Raul Meireles’ long-range stinger thudded back off Vincent Kompany, Carroll thundered the loose ball home from the edge of the box; with his weaker foot no less. Kompany’s evening got worse, as once again he deflected a cross right to into the stride of a Liverpool player, this time Dirk Kuyt, who ran onto the gift and slid it precisely into the corner of Hart’s net. City’s misery was compounded when Meireles sent a searching cross into the box, and Aleksandr Kolarov could only head onto the muscular challenge of Carroll, whose head guided it sweetly into the net past a despairing Hart. City were bereft of inspiration, even when hothead Balotelli came on for Tevez and then, humiliatingly, was substituted himself for hatchet man Nigel De Jong. Perhaps Mancini felt he needed to tighten up? Yaya Toure produced perhaps the best effort for the away side with a 30 yard rocket that Reina kept out well, but Kuyt narrowly nodded a cross wide and Carroll narrowly over at the death, to leave the crowd in no doubt as to whom had bossed the game.

Tottenham ensured they have not fallen out of contention for a Champions’ League berth next season, as they beat Stoke City 3-2 in a pulsating match at White Hart Lane. Perhaps the most incredible statistic that Match of the Day pulled out was that Stoke had actually shared 53% of possession, against a home side whose game is based on incisive passing, so the route one-ers seemed to adapt their game adeptly. Even the two Potters goals were superb examples of flowing open play. Gareth Bale had already tested Asmir Begovic, before Roman Pavlyuchenko lifted the ball cutely over the goalkeeper, only to find Wilkinson diligently guarding his goal. Unfortunately for Stoke, the resultant short corner was not pressed, and Pavlyuchenko swung in a delightful cross for Crouch to head in virtually on his knees. Just seven minutes later and it was two. Luka Modric instigated a move and received a clever return from Pavlyuchenko, before cantering through and nutmegging Begovic for a fabulous goal. Last week, Jonathan Walters nicked the ball on the halfway line, before racing clear and scoring an incredible goal. This time, Matty Etherington was determined to prove he could do it just as well. Again nicking possession on halfway, Etherington’s Ferrari steamed clear of Huddlestone’s tractor, before beating Gomes from a seemingly impossible angle. The away fans were in raptures and roared their team on to level, but it was Spurs who maintained their two goal cushion. The ball was raked from right to left to Assou-Ekotto, who sent a searching ball cross-field to his fellow full-back Corluka. The Croatian gave the ball to Huddlestone, whose floated cross found Crouch lurking with intent. The beanpole did the business, and Spurs were once again in control, but before half-time the game was flipped on its head once more. Gareth Bale proved he can do wrong, as his dithering on halfway saw him dispossessed with a classic tackle from Wilkinson. Kenwyne Jones took the slack, and before Spurs could compose themselves, the Trinidadian belted a tremendous 25 yard shot in off the crossbar. The fans could not believe what they were seeing, and unfortunately that was it for goals, though the second half was not lacking in incident. Stoke had a clanger of a chance to take a point, but when Jones’ low cross was touched by Gomes, it hit Walters four yards out with an open net and came off the post. Pavlyuchenko’s diving header from a devious Bale cross went inches wide, while Youned Kaboul was bemoaning the officials, when he scored what he felt was a legitimate goal from a corner; appearing to head the ball out of Begovic’s grasp with no foul. A Pavlyuchenko stonger was beaten out by Begovic, and Jones responded in kind with his own vicious effort, but 3-2 it remained. Crouch redeemed.

West Ham’s revival was killed off mercilessly by Bolton Wanderers, at a ground which has never been particularly kind to the Hammers. They had never won at the Reebok, and they never looked like doing so this time. Daniel Sturridge was a class apart for the Trotters, and his relationship with both Kevin Davies and Johan Elmander created umpteen opportunities. That he didn’t claim the matchball was something of a mystery. After Sturridge had spun and fired an early effort just wide, Johan Elmander helped on a Davies flick, and the youngster controlled in an instant, switched feet and guided it beautifully into the net with no backlift. A brilliant Martin Petrov centre found the smallest man on the field; Chung-Yong Lee, who nevertheless headed in expertly for 2-0. Sturridge brought the house down with his second, as he picked the ball up in a seemingly harmless position, out on the left touchline. He then proceeded to move across the box unchallenged, before cutting niftily outside Scott Parker and drilling low into the net with his left foot. He must have thought his hat-trick was secure when he cantered through later on, but was foiled by a last-ditch challenge from James Tomkins. West Ham still showed signs of life, and Jaaskelainen had to be at his best to save a Demba Ba Header, while at the other end, Sturridge’s next chance of a hat-trick was spurned, when he couldn’t clear Green with his attempted lob. Demba Ba again was West Ham’s most potent threat, and slipped as he sent a shot cannoning off the post. Finally Sturridge once again showed the Hammers defence a clean pair of heels, but could only fire his cross-shot wide of the post.

With West Ham losing, Wolves could have done with a result at home to an unpredictable Everton side again shorn of any experience on the bench, and youngster Maguaye Gueye making an appearance. The Old Golds gave their fans something to cheer first, when Stephen Fletcher had a header cleared off the line by Leon Osman. It was the first action of a man-of-the-match display from the diminutive midfielder. Wolves felt they should have had a penalty when Sylvain Ebanks-Blake wriggled into the box, and went down under a dubious challenge from Phil Jagielka, though they both had firm hold of each other’s shirts. Everton took the lead somewhat against the run of play, when a perfect cross into the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ between goalkeeper and defenders saw Jermaine Beckford gambling and running across his man to nod into the net. Guedioura replied by bending a good effort narrowly wide, and Osman superbly turned Berra before sending in a dangerous cross for Beckford to head powerfully at goal which Hennessey saved brilliantly. A goalmouth scramble at the other end saw Wolves only fail to score because of a magnificent saving block from a combination of Jagielka and Osman, and this proved crucial when they scored the killer second. George Elokobi had almost scored an own-goal, and in the aftermath Jermaine Beckford picked up the pieces; holding the ball up and laying back to Phil Neville, who struck a rising drive that took a nick on its way into the top corner. Youngter Gueye was sent through soon after, but ran out of legs as he approached goal under pressure, and could only poke an effort that was saved by Hennessey’s legs. The third goal was a collective disaster for Wolves before half-time. Stephen Fletcher won a 50-50 on halfway, but Jamie O’Hara left it for a team-mate, only to see the loose ball seized upon by Diniyar Bilyaletdinov, who advanced a few yards before swerving a belting shot into Hennessey’s top corner for a glorious third. The Molineuk faithful let their team know in no uncertain terms that this was not acceptable. The second half saw an improvement of sorts, though efforts from Henry, Guedioura and a near own-goal from Jagielka all fell short of the target Wolves needed, and David Moyes celebrated a fantastic victory, despite his threadbare squad reaching breaking point.

Another storming game at Bloomfield Road, another demoralising defeat for ‘Ollie’s Tangerine army. Blackpool’s vibrant attacking play was countered by the kind of laissez-faire defending that Arsenal wish they could face every week. A raking crossfield ball from a Cesc Fabregas who couldn’t believe his space found Robin Van Persie on the left, and he was given adequate time to comfortably deliver a low cross for a completely un-noticed Abou Diaby to glide into the box and finish. Keeping tight after a goal is an alien concept to Blackpool, and so less than three minutes had elapsed before Emmanuel Eboue of all people had exchanged passes with Wilshere before crashing the ball into the net with his left foot before a challenge could be made. Fabregas’ favourite piece was the chipped dink over the top of an incredibly high Blackpool offside line, and it let in Samir Nasri to swivel and volley brilliantly past Kingson, but his effort bounced off the outside of the post. A carbon copy Fabregas through-ball then let in Robin Van Persie, though this time Kingson had made himself a makeshift sweeper. This delayed the striker enough to have to look for Diaby in support, and the big midfielder dithered and tried to walk the ball in; inevitably losing out. Blackpool’s offside trap finally worked, when a Squillaci flick was volleyed in from close range by Van Persie, only to be correctly flagged. Blackpool’s attempts to reduce the arrears before half-time were thwarted, when somehow a combination of Lehmann’s legs and Nasri’s composure cleared a scrambled effort off the line.

The second half finally saw Blackpool take the game to Arsenal, and they reduced the deficit quickly. Jack Wilshere made a scything foul on halfway, but the referee waved play on as Blackpool launched a lightning counter-attack. The ball was slid superbly into DJ Campbell in the box, who rounded Lehmann and was wiped out. Luckily for the German, the referee once again allowed play to continue, avoiding a red card but allowing Gary Taylor-Fletcher to slot in the loose ball. Blackpool then took charge and had Arsenal under the cosh. The referee, who had up til then handled the game well, then made an absolute howler, when Blackpool worked the ball to Taylor-Fletcher two yards inside the box. As Koscielny approached he nudged the ball across to a team-mate, but was clattered by Koscielny’s ill-judged slide well after the ball had gone. The referee appeared to only have eyes on the ball and did not award the cast-iron spot-kick. Keith Southern met a devious cross at the near post from point-blank range, but could only nod across goal, and Blackpool lamented these moments, as Arsenal sealed the game. Diaby brilliantly held off a challenge in his own half before feeding Fabregas on halfway, who flicked expertly to Theo Walcott, who turned on the afterburners and crossed low for Van Persie to finish. There was one more chance from Campbell saved by Lehmann, but this was a tale of what could have been for Blackpool.

Chelsea somehow ground out an ugly win over a team they beat by eight goals in this fixture last season. Wigan offered little in attack, but held out remarkably, until the referee bizarrely allowed a goal which relied on the £50 million substitute Fernando Torres sticking his arm right into Al-Habsi’s face and not getting anything on the ball. Florent Malouda eventually bundled the ball into the net, but it was a shocking decision. Otherwise, Al-Habsi made excellent stops from Malouda, Drogba, and late on a superb reflex save from the one great effort from Torres. Chelsea loanee Franco Di Santo had the best effort for Wigan, who nevertheless must have expected a defeat here. Their lack of goal threat however will cause much consternation amongst the Latics’ support in their increasingly desperate bid for survival.

Two of the uglier sisters in the Premiership pantomime met at Ewood Park, and it ended in a stale stalemate. Lee Bowyer opened the account with a minging goal; bundling in on the line from Cameron Jerome’s centre. Sebastien Larsson sent a free-kick thudding against the inside of Robinson’s post, while Craig Gardner cleared a Rovers effort off the line. Birmingham must have thought they were heading for a half-time lead, but after a Roger Johnson head injury had meant seven minutes of additional time, Liam Ridgewell’s head was clearly already in the dressing room, as he was caught napping and dispossessed by Junior Hoilett, who proceeded to round Foster and score on the stroke of the whistle. The second period saw Hoilett again work his magic, but his dinked cross could only be headed onto the top of the bar by Roque Santa Cruz. It is a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes as to what has happened to Santa Cruz’s ability. Perhaps he has left it in the same place as Fernando Torres.

Gerard Houllier breathed a hefty sigh of relief as his Villa team nicked a vital victory against a Newcastle side who obliterated them 6-0 earlier in the season. Of course that team had Andy Carroll, and Newcastle were also missing their defensive midfield lynchpin Chekh Tiote, their goalscoring midfielder Kevin Nolan, and their next most potent strikers Leon Best and Shola Ameobi, although they did possess ‘England’s best midfielder’ in Joey Barton. Villa’s goal came after Mr Modest had conceded a cheap free-kick to Ashley Young, who picked himself up to deliver a whipped masterpiece of a free-kick which James Collins just had to run across his man to meet and help on its way into the corner of the net. Villa had the chance to extend that lead, but Darren Bent does what he tends to do sometimes; miss a howling sitter, after an inviting floated cross from Downing left the goal at his mercy. Bent then made up for it after Jean Makoun had turned his man brilliantly and sent in a perfect pass for the England man to spin and find the net, though it was wrongly adjudged to be offside. Newcastle’s best chances fell to Peter Lovenkrands, who was denied by the continued excellence of Brad Friedel. Gabriel Agbonlahor tested Steve Harper at the other end, but in the end it was the narrowest of margins for a fragile-looking Villa, who live to fight another day.

Blue air green grass

A stirring second-half comeback and the air turned blue, as Wayne Rooney found his shooting boots to gun down the Hammers and increase Manchester United’s lead at the summit of the Premier League to six points, as Arsenal stumbled to an unlikely goalless home draw to Blackburn.

Upton Park has always proved a troublesome travel spot for Manchester United, having lost the title there twice amongst other results. It looked very much as if history would repeat itself when West Ham raced into a two goal first half lead, chiefly down to another inept display from this unpredictable United side. Within eleven minutes, a long ball from Thomas Hitzlsperger caught Patrice Evra on his heels, and as he raced goalside of Carlton Cole, the England striker flicked the ball up onto the Frenchman’s raised arm for a penalty. Mark Noble coped with the pressure admirably, stroking the penalty expertly low into the corner of the net. West Ham looked confident, and when Carlton Cole deployed a double stepover, Nemanja Vidic’s legs turned to jelly and he reacted by lunging to bring down Cole right on the line of the penalty box. Noble netted one of the finest penalties you will ever see the second time, hitting the ‘postage stamp’ of the opposite corner. United finally came out of their daze, with Rooney firing in a low cross which Park Ji-Sung met fiercely from point-blank range, though Rob Green was in the right place to parry it brilliantly. The Hammers went in for the break two goals to the good, and United were not showing much to suggest a revival was on the cards. The second period saw Javier Hernandez sent on for Patrice Evra, and, incredibly, Ryan Giggs dropping to play at left-back. Being Ryan Giggs, he then proceeded to make the position his own. Nemanja Vidic continued as he left off, this time hauling Demba Ba down as last man. Fortunately for the big Serb, the ball’s bounce favoured Kuszcak rather than Ba, thus saving him from a sending off. He really tested Lee Mason’s resolve minutes later though, when he made another clumsy foul on Ba which a lot of referees would have cautioned. United were displaying more purpose after the introduction of Dimitar Berbatov, and within a minute of his arrival, Michael Carrick was scythed down on the edge of the box by penalty hero Noble. Wayne Rooney stepped up to whip the ball into the corner of Green’s net, though incredibly West Ham’s wall did not jump, which most likely would have prevented the goal. Berbatov was looking full of finesse, and his lithe trickery saw him almost profit, but for Green’s alertness, low at his near post. The waves of attack were mounting, and when Luis Antonio Valencia cut back onto his left foot and coaxed a low cross in, Wanye Rooney took an immaculate first touch to get the ball out of his feet and leave Da Costa and Upson reeling, setting himself for his second; a superb drive into the corner of the net for the equaliser. West Ham visibly sank, and when Matthew Upson stupidly went to ground in reaction to Fabio’s burst into the box, he got up just in time to see the ball strike his arm. A bit harsh, but Wayne Rooney thrashed home the spot-kick before indulging in some naughty language directly into the Sky Sports cameras. Didier Drogba eat your heart out. The final few minutes saw some West Ham resistance, but United ended the contest with five minutes to go. A languid Berbatov held the ball up until Giggs arrived on the scene, and when the makeshift veteran left-back drove into the box and thumped the ball across, Matthew Upson was nutmegged and Hernandez reacted in a split second to slide the loose ball in.

Arsenal dropped yet more crucial points and even failed to score at home against a Blackburn side in freefall. Theo Walcott nearly made a difference early on, being denied by Robinson and almost forcing Ryan Nelsen into an own goal. Samir Nasri then clashed heads with Nelsen and received a lump the size of an ostrich egg. Despite his painful injury, the toothy Frenchman was involved in an excellent move which culminated in a low cross which Jack Wilshere unbelievably put wide from the centre of the box with time and space. While you expect Arsenal to miss a shedload of chances, you are always also expecting Laurent Koscielny or Manuel Almunia to produce a howler at the other end. It was the Manuel show this time, as first he shovelled a routine catch from a nicked Olsson effort a fraction wide, and was then easily beaten to the punch from a Robinson clout by the towering Stephen N’Zonzi, which again dropped just wide of the post. Gunners fans were chewing their fingernails to the knuckle, until N’Zonzi got himself sent off for a stupid stamp tackle on Koscielny. At this point it seemed Rovers had surrendered their chance of a result, but despite Wenger throwing on the aerial threats of Bendtner and Chamakh, Arsenal couldn’t make a breakthrough. A Bendtner header found Salgado dutifully guarding his post, and Robin Van Persie leapt into Chamakh’s path to head a fantastic chance well over. And that was that.

Stoke finally put up a fight against Chelsea at the Britannia Stadium, and could quite feasibly have come away with a win. They took the game to Chelsea and opened the scoring with a magnificent goal completely outside the normal Stoke handbook. Jonathan Walters nicked a loose ball away from a statuesque Luis on halfway, and galloped the length of the half, before showing composure in cutting outside the challenge of Essien and firing low past Terry and Cech inside the near post. It was a special moment, and typically the Potters faithful erupted. Predictably there came a response, and Asmir Begovic had to be at his best to deny a diving header from Ashley Cole, though he was wrongly judged onside. The goalkeeper brilliantly kept out a Lampard volley, while Nicolas Anelka couldn’t readjust in time to convert the rebound. The Frenchman made amends before half-time by coaxing in an inviting cross which Didier Drogba dived to head in at Begovic’s near post. The second half swung one way then the other. First Jermaine Pennant was denied at the near post by the long legs of Cech, before Ramires set Drogba through. The Ivorian coaxed a shot across Begovic, only to see it clip the foot of the post and come away. If fans thought this was the signal for one way traffic they couldn’t have been more wrong. A Stoke free-kick most would have expected to be clipped high into the box was laid off to Mark Wilson, whose blockbusting effort had to be tipped onto the crossbar by a full-length Cech; a world class save which was incredibly bettered from the resultant corner. The dead ball was clipped in and attacked from point-blank range by Robert Huth, but his belting header once again saw a superlative reflex save from Cech; lunging an arm out to once again help a certain goal onto the crossbar and away. After these two incidents, it was inevitable that Chelsea went up the other end and almost won it, with a corner falling for Drogba retrieving and spinning to thunder a shot against the crossbar and away again, though the move eventually led to Essien getting away a shot well dealt with by Begovic. Both teams within a whisker of grabbing the victory, but the best chance was last, when a lovely stood-up Etherington cross saw Cech fail to reach and find Ricardo Fuller with the whole goal to aim at a few yards out, but the big Jamaican somehow nodded back across goal rather than in. This game was seemingly destined to be a stalemate.

Mancitti strengthened their grip on a Champions League berth with a five goal demolition of a hapless Sunderland. Adam Johnson exchanged passes with Yaya Toure and scored an excellent opener, before Carlos Tevez proved too elusive for Phil Bardsley, who fouled him for a penalty which the Argentinian duly converted, despite Simon Mignolet’s best efforts. Sunderland finally mustered a form of resistance when Asamoah Gyan flicked the ball up and volleyed narrowly wide from the edge of the box. Headcase Mario Balotelli skinned John Mensah and tested the reflexes of Mignolet once more, before a lovely Tevez ball to Balotelli was blocked, only for the loose ball to be stabbed past Mignolet by the lurking Silva. City’s fourth was borne of a bit of a scramble, with the ball eventually driven across by Kolarov and slid in with his thigh by Patrick Vieira, despite Mignolet’s astonishing agility almost preventing it crossing the line. Balotelli’s swerving, dipping effort was then beaten out by the Belgian to deny him again, but City were not to be denied. Lee Cattermole was harried into playing a ludicrous backpass across his box, and Yaya Toure strode between centre-backs to finish assuredly. There was still time for Elmohamedy to somehow head a Zenden free-kick wide when it looked easier to score, and for Mignolet to win his ongoing duel with Balotelli by superbly tipping the Italian’s glorious free-kick safely over the crossbar. No goal for Balotelli, but a supreme performance from City to worry Tottenham fans particularly.

Liverpool fans always seem to be quick to scorn Roy Hodgson, but he came back to haunt them at the Hawthorns, where has now presided over a 5-match unbeaten run since his arrival, compensating somewhat for the West Brom board’s appalling lack of loyalty displayed to Roberto Di Matteo. Despite the taunts from the away end, and the fact that the dream duo of Carroll and Suarez were unleashed from the start together for the first time, West Brom did not play like a team about to be potentially relegated. Nor did they play anything like as negatively as Hodgson’s Liverpool were oft-accused of. Liverpool did make the early running, and when Andy Carroll nodded down to Dirk Kuyt just four yards out, former Liverpool goalkeeper Scott Carson earned his corn with a great reflex stop, before Kuyt’s follow-up could only clip the bar on its way over. At the other end, a teasing Jerome Thomas centre was dangerously backheaded by the clumsy Skrtel; bringing a fine diving catch from Jose Reina. Reina then saved well from Cox, but Liverpool were clearly unsettled by losing both Glen Johnson and Daniel Agger early on to injury. Despite this, they took the lead early in the second half from a set-piece, with Skrtel heading into the unguarded corner. West Brom did not let their heads go down, and Reina was forced into action again, after a goalmouth scramble saw Chris Brunt fire straight at the Liverpool goalkeeper. Just after the hour the pressure told, when Sotirios Kyrgiakos made a pig’s ear out of holding off Odemwingie as he chased a long ball, bringing the Nigerian down for a blatant penalty, converted expertly by Chris Brunt. Odemwingie began to run riot, and thumped in a shot parried at Reina’s near post. The next time he went shoulder-to-shoulder with Kyrgiakos, the Greek once again turned it into a tragedy, this time collapsing under an aerial challenge for the bouncing ball as Odemwingie took control before expertly turning back away from Reina’s hopeless lunge and being wiped out. This time Brunt even more emphatically belted the penalty in to send the Hawthorns faithful into delirium. Evil Egg Skrtel missed a sitter of a header before Luis Suarez drew a cracking save from Carson. Minutes later, with the game in the balance, Suarez again found a route to goal and deftly lobbed Carson, only for Jara to heroically head off the line, even with his own player sending him careering into the net.

The most common fixture in the English top flight ended in an entertaining, if unsatisfying, draw. Incredibly, Everton did not possess a minute of Premier League experience on their bench. They could have taken the lead early on when Kyle Walker’s dopey backheader let in Jermaine Beckford, but his shot just forced an excellent save from Brad Friedel. Tony Hibbert’s brilliant lunge blocked a goal-bound shot from Nigel Reo-Coker, before Everton took the lead. Diniyar Bilyaletdinov won the ball in midfield and played in Leon Osman, who zipped past James Collins and nudged the ball past Friedel. Villa equalised when Stewart Downing creeped down the right and was unforgiveably allowed to cut back on his left foot, before sliding the ball across to the lurking Bent, who crashed it into the roof of the net. Kyle Walker continued his bad afternoon when he skied a glorious chance from close-range, and Osman did likewise at the opposite end from a deep Bilyaletdinov cross. The most contentious moment came on 66 minutes, when Jermaine Beckford beat a tight offside trap to thunder the ball against the underside of the crossbar and in. The linesman didn’t have a hope of judging it accurately of course, which is why for the millionth time we point out that goal-line technology is the only way forward. Brad Friedel was of course more than happy to play on, and, while Everton were still feeling sorry for themselves, Ashley Young played a delightful ball through to Bent, who tucked it away as Howard careered out to meet him. If that was a harsh injustice on the Toffees, they salvaged a draw through a harsh injustice themselves, as Phil Jagielka shamelessly threw himself over as Jean Makoun pulled out of an attempted tackle inside the penalty area. Leighton Baines penalty could not have been directed closer to the goalkeeper, but went in for a probably fair draw.

Newcastle finally laid to rest the 3pm home kick-off winless hoodoo with a 4-1 demolition job of a toothless Wolves. Kevin Nolan made a brilliantly anticipatory run off of Shola Ameobi, and got his reward when he received the target man’s knockdown and finished for 1-0. Ameobi proved his physical worth again when Lovenkrands stood a cross up to the back post, and the striker outjumped the hulking Elokobi to head home. The second half continued in much the same vein, with Lovenkrands rounding Hennessey but only able to hit the outside of the post from an acute angle. Fabricio Coloccinni showed a touch of class coming forward and setting up Barton to cross for a close-range Lovenkrands finish, while new England boy Matt Jarvis provided his usual assist, this time for Sylvain Ebanks-Blake to score for a potential grandstand finish. Unfortunately for Mick McCarthy it proved a false dawn. Stephen Fletcher ruined their big chance of a comeback, when he met O’Hara’s peach of a free-kick, only to head it against the foot of the post with the whole goal to aim at. Still Wolves pressed, but James Perch cleared another Ebanks-Blake effort off the line, and Jonas Gutierrez took the pressure off once and for all when he strode forward almost unopposed, and bent a cracking shot inside the post to seal a resounding victory for the Toon.

Every neutral in the country is surely feeling a little tense as every man’s second favourite team Blackpool continue their slide to oblivion. The Premier League has rarely welcomed such an entertaining and goal-laden team as the Tangerines, but despite their rip-roaring first half of the season, they have now won just once in eleven matches, and that is Hull City 2009 all over again. But Hull did just stay up, which could be the best omen they have. ‘Ollie deployed James Beattie up front but probably wished he hadn’t when his braindead backpass let in Bobby Zamora, who strode past defenders as if they weren’t there and launched a rising drive with his weaker foot that nearly took the net out of the ground. Damien Duff had already had an effort pushed against the post, and the Irishman created a simple second, when his deadly free-kick was delivered onto the head of Zamora, who duly dispatched it into the corner. A brief Blackpool retort was thwarted, when Mark Schwarzer was beaten to the punch by Brett Ormerod, only to see line defender extraordinaire Chris Baird once again mop up at the last. A rare Hangeland error was seized upon by James Beattie, but he could only find the outside of the woodwork. Fulham made the game safe in the 72^nd minute, when a Danny Murphy free-kick was headed onto the post by Clint Dempsey, turned back by Hangeland and bundled home by Dickson Etuhu. Blackpool missed even the chance of a consolation, when Gary Taylor-Fletcher seized on a Schwarzer spill, only to slide it wide of the post.

Birmingham eased their relegation fears slightly with a timely win over Bolton, courtesy of the timeless predatory nous of Kevin Phillips. It’s been a mystery to most outside St Andrews as to why McLeish seems reticent to play Phillips, as he clearly still has it, and the one thing Birmingham are shortest of is goals. Cameron Jerome might run a lot, but you don’t stay up by covering the most blind alleys. Phillips chested down an awkward bounce from a corner, and spun to fire home after four minutes. This was added to by an excellent finish from Craig Gardner, arriving on cue as ever. In between these, Daniel Sturridge was denied thrice by Ben Foster’s excellence, though he did concede when Johan Elmander superbly adjusted to volley in a Kevin Davies knockdown. Birmingham then got the jitters, but had Foster to save once more at the death, when he displayed supreme athleticism in throwing his hands up to send Steinsson’s bullet header over the bar.

Tottenham scored nine in one game against Wigan last season, and yet this season they have scored none in either match. The Latics took advantage of Spurs’ minds clearly being on other things, as Victor Moses threatened throughout. One of his crosses found Rodallega, but a combination of Dawson and Bassong blocked the Colombian’s effort. The other bright spot for Wigan was another promising cameo from Connor Sammon, who forced a good save from Gomes, and then sent in a delicious cross fractionally shy of being converted by Franco Di Santo. Wigan will kick themselves once again though for not finishing any chances; a habit which may put paid to their Premiership stay.