Winter of discontent

A less frenetic weekend in the Premiership, but no less interesting. Blackpool’s lack of undersoil heating cost them, and the Gunners fired a broadside at Chelsea as they replaced them at the summit.

Chelsea’s attack proved impotent once again, as Everton took advantage late on to seize a draw at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea’s defence looked more secure with walking wounded John Terry back, and ironically it was him who came closest in attack first, having two stabs at goal, the second a deft chip which clipped the crossbar. Chelsea’s breakthrough actually came from an Everton player, as captain Phil Neville played a stupendously stupid backpass to set Anelka clear, who knocked the ball past Tim Howard and made sure he was clattered for a penalty that Didier Drogba converted just before half-time. The second half saw a Toffees resurgence, led by Leighton Baines, first delivering a great cross to Jack Rodwell, whose diving header struck the inside of Cech’s post and bounced out. Petr Cech’s headwear finally came in handy when Stephen Pienaar played a tantalising through-ball for Tim Cahill to attack; leaving his studs to catch Cech’s forehead, and leading to a lengthy remonstration from John Terry. One can only imagine why it took the former England Captain quite so long to say: ‘watch your studs, he’s had a cracked skull.’

Chelsea had a chance to sew the game up when everyone missed a low Paulo Ferreira cross, and they were made to pay with just five minutes to go, when Leighton Baines stayed on his feet for long enough to weave inside and outside three defenders and clip in a superb cross, which Tim Cahill nodded back close enough to goal for even Jermaine Beckford to score.

Arsenal claimed the apex with a victory over Fulham which ended far more tensely than it should have. Andrei Arshavin, fresh from his successful championing of the Russian World Cup bid, set Samir Nasri through early on, who stabbed past the onrushing Schwarzer but wide of the post. The Russian again set up Nasri on 13 minutes, and the whole stadium witnessed a moment of class, as the Frenchman dragged back once to drop one defender, then again to leave another defender on their backsides, before nearly lifting the roof off the goal net with his finish. The on-fire Frenchman then set off on a cracking run, and his cross led to Dickson Etuhu almost scoring an own goal, before Mark Schwarzer grabbed the ball on the goal-line. Alexandre Song missed a sitter when he volleyed a close-range chance wide from Rosicky’s cross. It seemed like the same old story when Fulham equalised, though it owed everything to Chris Foy’s astonishing disregard for the wellbeing of players. Laurent Koscielny cracked his cheek against the top of Sebastien Squillaci’s head; a blow that would put most grown men down, yet Foy incredibly allowed play to continue, even with the clearly dazed Frenchman hitting the ground again, and Clint Dempsey took full advantage with a cunning through-ball to Diomansy Kamara, who made no mistake with his finish. Kamara then spent the rest of the game mainly being caught offside, while Arshavin continued tormenting the Cottagers; weaving past four defenders and bringing the best out of Schwarzer. Zoltan Gera fired a brilliant overhead kick narrowly wide before Arsenal deservedly scored their second, due again to the twinkle-toed magnificence of Nasri once more; taking a Van Persie pass in a tight penalty box, then dipping and diving like an ice-skater to leave two defenders and Schwarzer down, before swivelling to spoon the loose ball over a desperate defender on the line for a sublime second. Fulham made some late thrusts through Etuhu and Gera, but Arsenal held on to sit pretty atop the Premier League mountain once more.

The Wigan-Stoke game proved far more interesting than many neutrals thought, and an amusing sidenote is Tony Pulis’ rapid development of Wenger Myopic Syndrome; wittering on about Wigan’s two goals being deflections and conveniently forgetting Stoke’s opener was a Robert Huth free-kick that Al-Habsi had comfortably covered until it took a wicked deflection in off Mohamed Diame. Within 15 minutes Wigan were on level terms, when Ben Watson fired in a free-kick to the near post, which Danny Collins moronically put in his own net. Roberto Martinez has turned Wigan into a much more soundly defensive unit with one particular change: the loan signing of Ali Al-Habsi, who must be among the best three goalkeepers in the Premier League since his arrival. The Omanian could do nothing about Stoke’s second goal just two minutes later, after Kenwyne Jones did well to stay on his feet and keep the ball in on the touchline, before advancing to feed Ricardo Fuller just inside the box. The big Trinidadian outmuscled his marker and turned in a low cross which was missed at the near post, but found Matty Etherington striding into yards of space to bury the chance. Manchester United starlet Tom Cleverley was looking inventive in the Latics’ midfield, and it was he who grabbed the Wigan equaliser five minutes before half-time, but not before Hendry Thomas missed a glaring sitter, with Charles N’Zogbia doing brilliantly to fire in a low cross, which Begovic dived at but missed, leaving Thomas behind him with an open net. However, the midfielder clearly was not expecting it and inadvertently played it back where it came from, leaving him wishing the ground would open up. Cleverley got Thomas out of the mire though, when he turned Robert Huth and fired in a strike that deflected in off Rory Delap for 2-2. More clever work from Cleverley set up Mauro Boselli, who drew an inspired double save from Asmir Begovic.

The second half saw a few great chances, but the scoring was over. Jonathan Walters joined Hendry Thomas on the roll of shame, when a Rory Delap hurl was flicked on by Kenwyne Jones, but the former Ipswich striker somehow put his header wide from four yards. Kenwyne Jones then made a chance from nowhere, but Al-Habsi was equal to it, while the always dangerous Charles N’Zogbia cut a swathe through the Stoke backline, only to see Begovic tip his strike onto the post. Pulis was as gutless as ever, leaving flair players Eidur Gudjohnsen and Tuncay on the bench, giving the Turk just 8 minutes of action and none to Gudjohnsen.

A frustrating draw for Spurs at St Andrews, where Heurelho Gomes gave us some amateur dramatics to remind us he is a buffoon. Spurs opened the scoring just shy of twenty minutes, when a Gareth Bale free-kick was punched badly by Foster, hitting Crouch and falling nicely for Sebastien Bassong to sweep in. Some sublime Bale trickery saw him unleash the fury at Foster’s near post, but the Birmingham number one was not to be beaten. Spurs knocked and knocked without being convincing, and the inevitable happened, when in the last ten minutes Roger Johnson dinked a cross to the towering head of Nikola Zigic, who nodded it across for the onrushing Craig Gardner to beat two defenders to and equalise. The result means Spurs still await their first clean sheet since the start of the season.

Mancitti were surprisingly attack-minded at Eastlands, though the 1-0 scoreline has become a familiar sight for the Blue Moon faithful. Bolton were dismal, which these days is something of a shock. Before the Trotters had even woken up they were one down, with Yaya Toure playing an incisive pass past Gary Cahill for Carlos Tevez to smash in past the advancing Jaaskelainen. Waves of City attacks were crashing on the Bolton shores, with Cahill relieved to get away without conceding a spot-kick, after a thunderous David Silva drive had struck his head and arm, while a goal wis disallowed for offside which incensed the City faithful. Carlos Tevez brilliantly set fellow Argentine Pablo Zabaleta through, but the full-back made a dog’s breakfast of the chance. The second half saw the same player denied from close-range by Jaaskelainen’s reflexes, while Tevez robbed a defender, leading to Mario Balotelli casually sidefooting against the foot of the post. Jaaskelainen denied the young Italian again, and David Silva again provided a moment of class, spinning to belt the ball against the crossbar. City’s sole moment of doubt came when Joe Hart; most likely lulled into a false sense of security; fumbled a free-kick, needing Vincent Kompany to bail him out on the line. Left-back Alexsander Kolarov got himself sent off for two rash challenges, but City saw the game out, though the sight of captain Tevez throwing the toys from the pram after being substituted a minute from the end left a bad taste in the mouth.

Yet again, Wolves failed to rouse themselves for a game against one of the Premier League’s also-rans, with Big Sam’s cloggers engineering a comfortable victory. It could all have been so different if Lady Luck had been with Wolves early on. Some nice play from Matt Jarvis released Stephen Ward, whose shot hit the post. After a short scramble the ball then found Pascal Zubar, whose audacious effort from the opposite side then unbelievably hit the crossbar and post and still stayed out. Blackburn took the lead with an archetypal Sam Allardyce goal; a corner being nodded from past the far post to back into the mix by Ryan Nelsen, where David Dunn got his head to it and guided it over the line before the ball could be hacked away. By the time a route one hoof saw Jason Roberts using his strength to hold off the challenge and lay back for Brett Emerton to crash home, Wolves had surrendered. Another from the Big Sam playbook led to a third, with a Morten Gamst Pedersen free-kick badly defended, leaving Ryan Nelsen to steal in and poach for 3-0. Stephen Hunt masterminded some token Wolves resistance in the second half, but Blackburn nearly added a fourth, before both Pedersen and Mame Biryam Diouf conspired to screw the chance up.

After the hubris of their 4-0 Carling Cup win against Manchester United, the onus was on West Ham to finally put a run together to lift them from the lows of second bottom. True to form, the Hammers then proceeded to return to rock bottom, with yet another agonising defeat. Luis Boa Morte incredibly stayed on the pitch after a two-footed tackle, which Martin Atkinson, a referee who tends to punish players for this offence with a straight red card, decided yellow would be sufficient. An early John Mensah error saw Carlton Cole have a free run towards goal, but the big man dithered until Anton Ferdinand rushed to his central defensive partner’s rescue. Explosive Ghanaian Asamoah Gyan was typically involved in Sunderland’s goal, working some space near the touchline and sending in a peach of a low cross which Jordan Henderson guided into the net without breaking his stride. The Ghanaian then nearly brought the house down with an audacious casual chip which thudded against the top of the crossbar. Carling Cup scorers Spector and Cole came close before the break, while a thunderous Gyan strike was well saved by Green. The second half saw some good work from Carlton Cole result in Spector missing his cross, but Obinna hitting the outside of the post. Sunderland almost wrapped up the game late on after Steed Malbranque cleverly found Gyan, who advanced and dinked through to Kieran Richardson, whose challenge saw the ball squirm from Rob Green’s grasp, though James Tomkins was on hand to brilliantly deny Wellbeck, who had an otherwise empty net beckoning.

Newcastle didn’t show up for a thoroughly comprehensive West Brom victory. Despite naming an unchanged side from the one that held the champions, the Toon were found out and taken apart by the dynamic Baggies, led by signing of the season Peter Odemwingie. Somen Tchoyi scored the opener after 32 minutes. Some great approach play from Jerome Thomas and Chris Brunt fed the Cameroonian, who stepped inside, fooling three Newcastle defenders, before bending the ball in. Sol Campbell had a bit of a ‘mare on his 500^th Premiership appearance, looking every one of his 36 years. It’s strange to think that Campbell essentially admitted he wasn’t good enough anymore when he left Arsenal, a time when he seemed very humble. Since then he has done a number of baffling things, including quitting Notts County after one game, bemoaning his exclusion from the England squad and suing Portsmouth when they were on the brink of extinction. Yet if David James doesn’t move back to the top division in January, Campbell and Ryan Giggs will be the only players to have appeared in every Premier League season.

The second half saw Newcastle put up some fight, with Scott Carson called upon to keep out a Stephen Taylor header, while Paul Scharner blazed a very presentable chance high, wide and handsome. James Morrison came close on a couple of occasions, and Marek Cech was forced to hack a Gutierrez bundled effort off the line, but the game was essentially over on 71 minutes, when Peter Odemwingie scored a magnificent solo goal; picking up the ball after a fatal Guthrie slip in central midfield, and running at the Newcastle central defence. Despite looking like he should have passed, Odemwingie kept his balance, held off two challenges and fired through Stephen Taylor for a brilliant second goal. The Nigerian later picked up a long ball and rounded the goalkeeper before making the game safe for the Baggies. Newcastle got a token consolation in stoppage time, with a Routledge cross finding Carroll, whose snapshot was saved, only for Peter Lovenkrands to bundle the rebound in. News on Monday confirmed Chris Hughton had been sacked, a decision which says everything about the ridiculous man in charge of this club. Mike Ashley, who had redeemed himself partially with the St James’ Park faithful; after appointing Dennis Wise, driving Kevin Keegan out, appointing Joe Kinnear, getting the club relegated and renaming the stadium, has finally, surely, shown his true colours. Hughton, who I had been a vocal doubter of when he was appointed, has done more than any manager could have expected to do in his time at St James’, and had ran into difficult results without key players that still left the club as high as 11^th, yet Ashley deemed his time over. A cynic would suggest this is a ploy either to reinstate his toxic buddies Wise or Kinnear, or appoint who he deems a ‘high-profile’ manager in order to make the club more sellable. Money is the only thing the man is motivated by, and I urge anyone who supports Chris Hughton to avoid ever shopping at Sports Direct.

Another Anfield game against a team in Claret and Blue, another embarrassingly easy victory. Gerard Houllier was clearly more interested in his reception than his own team, as a fairly strong Villa line-up was destroyed by Liverpool’s back-ups. Missing key men Jamie Carragher, Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres, David N’Gog bundled in from a corner to open the scoring on 13 minutes. 3 minutes later perennial let-down Ryan Babel cracked Lucas’ lofted ball across Friedel for 2-0. With Villa toothless, Liverpool finished them with a swift counter-attack on 55 minutes, started and finished by Maxi Rodriguez. Villa fans were rightfully not impressed at being humiliated by Liverpool’s reserves.

Until next time, my frozen friends.