Jingle Balls

The festive feast of football has begun in earnest, and Chelsea are as low as fifth, while for the first time in Premier League history, both Manchester teams are top of the tree.

Arsenal finally found a winning mentality against one of their big rivals, by convincingly beating Chelsea 3-1 at the Emirates. After the draw against Spurs, and the return of Michael Essien and Frank Lampard, many felt this was the game in which Chelsea would miraculously rediscover their formidable early season form, known by the press as the ‘Wilkins Era’. This notion was soon ruined when Arsenal seized initiative early on and kept the ball like it was a training session; forcing Chelsea players all over the pitch in hopeless attempts at dispossession. The Gunners looked hungry for a result, and dominated possession almost embarrassingly. The key difference this time was that they converted their superiority into a lead on the stroke of half-time, when a lovely sequence of passes in tight areas led to Jack Wilshere fooling three Chelsea defenders and finding Fabregas, who was up-ended, but watched delighted as team-mate Alexandre Song spun to find the corner of the net amid the melee.

The second half would normally have seen a powerful Chelsea response, but instead it was Arsenal who continued to throw the punches, finishing the game off in a relentless two minutes just after the break, when Michael Essien made a boo-boo; the Ghanaian stopper’s tackle on Robin Van Persie proving an inch-perfect through-ball which Theo Walcott galloped onto before touching away from Cech for Cesc Fabregas to gleefully roll into the empty net. Sensing blood, Arsenal went in for the kill, and two minutes later Walcott again instigated a goal. This time it was Florent Malouda dithering in the middle of the park, when Walcott dashed in to nip it off his toes, feeding Fabregas and taking the cunning return before dispatching brilliantly into the corner of Cech’s net. Chelski were dead and buried, though serial Arsenal slayer Didier Drogba had an impact five minutes later, as his floated free-kick was nodded past Fabianski by Branislav Ivanovic. Still, this proved little more than a consolation, and Arsenal did not sit back and man the trenches. They should have increased the lead in fact when Samir Nasri was put through but bizarrely opted to flick lethargically rather than getting a meaty lob over the advancing Cech. Still, an impressive victory for Arsenal, whose fans can finally lift their heads high after seeing off Chelsea.

Manchester United found their imperious best once more against a decimated Sunderland at Old Trafford to ruin neighbours City’s brief spell atop the apex. Ryan Giggs once again ran the show, and after he’d weaved a spell through the heart of the Mackems’ defence, he found Wayne Rooney, who picked out Dimitar Berbatov at the back post; nodding home consummately for the opening goal after just five minutes. More Giggs magic left Rooney in space on the edge of the box minutes later, and the prodigal son almost brought the house down by executing a superb chip, bringing to mind another infamous chip against the same opponents some 13 years ago by one Eric Cantona; only this dropped inches wide of its target. United were so in control that Anderson looked a player. A lavishly disguised pass from Anderson found Berbatov, looking razor sharp and advancing, before unleashing an effort that thudded back of the foot of the upright; whilst Giggs and Anderson combined later to let in the Brazilian, whose first shot was blocked, and second crashed down off the crossbar. The onslaught continued into the second half, with Craig Gordon saving from Ryan Giggs, and in the 57^th minute, Anderson once again found the right pass, which Berbatov fired in off the luckless brother of Rio; Anton Ferdinand. More chances followed, and it beggared belief that the game was going to end just 2-0, but end that way it did, but not before Sunderland finally had a shot on target in the last ten minutes.

Manchester City clinically dispatched Alan Pardew’s black and white army at St James’ Park, with a little help from their foes. Newcastle didn’t so much shoot themselves in the foot as the head with their Keystone Cops defending. Goalkeeper Tim Krul decided he hadn’t had enough to do in the second minute, so played a nicely weighted ball to Carlos Tevez, who gleefully found the lurking Gareth Barry to score the opener. By the five minute mark it was two. This time Tevez ran unchecked to the edge of the box, before laying the ball wide to James Milner. Fabricio Coloccini then decided it might be an opportune time for a nap, and with one Argentine asleep at his post, another stole in to convert Milner’s typically excellent delivery. City being City, they then proceeded to stifle the crap out of the game, which was only slightly  reinvigorated on 72 minutes, when Newcastle talisman Andy Carroll rose to plant a Barton corner into the net past the defender on the goal-line. For a period, City looked shaky, but this was all academic when Tevez once again was given the freedom of the penalty box to cut outside his man and unleash an effort that hit first Danny Simpson, and then his dozy compatriot Coloccini before apologetically finding the net. A clever Joey Barton free-kick was sussed by Joe Hart, and that was that.

Gerard Houllier again flattered to deceive as Aston Villa boss, after watching his side crash to yet another reversal. Villa were feeling hard done by when Emile Heskey appeared to be clattered by Heurelho Gomes early in the game, but Martin Atkinson said nothing doing. Younes Kaboul felt aggrieved himself when his goal was disallowed, after Alan Hutton had appeared to keep the ball just in play from a deep Van Der Vaart free-kick, but Atkinson favoured Villa’s cause this time. Gomes was called into action again to save from Agbonlahor, after him and Heskey had combined, but Spurs opened the scoring in the 23^rd minute, after a magnificent raking pass from Luka Modric had found Alan Hutton charging down the flank. The right-back then fed the ball across, leaving two Villa defenders on their backsides and the ball in the net via Rafael Van Der Vaart’s left foot. Just four minutes later, Spurs were ruing Atkinson’s intervention once more, after the official dismissed Jermain Defoe for leading with his arm, though any intent at all seemed to be focussed on the ball. The second half saw Spurs adopt a siege mentality and take the game to the home side, and a typically swashbuckling counter-attack led by Bale’s pace found Aaron Lennon at the back post, who then had the presence of mind to lay it back into the path of Van Der Vaart, who brilliantly swept it into the net despite the ball being under his feet. Villa were finished, but their shining star was once again young winger Marc Albrighton, who stung Gomes’ fingertips before sending in a peach of an inswinging cross, which James Collins missed (much like most of his attempted clearances); fooling Gomes and allowing the ball to bounce into the corner of his net for a consolation goal. The natives are getting restless in the Midlands.

Another incredible case of irresponsible media coverage led to the ludicrous suggestion that Mark Hughes’ job was on the line after a defeat to the hapless Hammers which sent the Cottagers spiralling into the relegation zone. Fulham are missing talismanic target man Bobby Zamora and new star Moussa Dembele, while Andy Johnson is still looking for his sharpness, so it was no surprise that when their normally resolute defence gave away ridiculous goals the writing would be on the wall. Like Newcastle, Fulham were the architects of their own downfall, after centre-back Aaron Hughes had given them a lead with an unmarked header on 10 minutes. The lead was surrendered in comic cuts fashion, with a poor cross from headless chicken Freddie Sears being diverted perfectly into Carlton Cole’s stride by Dickson Etuhu; which the England striker converted coolly. Mark Schwarzer was on hand to deny Cole a second, but on half-time Fulham were deflated, as their lead was turned into a deficit. Scott Parker picked out a deep cross, and the Fulham backline stood motionless as Frederic Piquionne stole in free at the back post to head into a gaping net. A Carlton Cole backheel set up Freddie Sears in the second half, but the youngster once again lost his head, while Andy Johnson was foiled by Rob Green. Fulham’s misery was complete on 72 minutes, when Aaron Hughes took a leaf out of Dickson Etuhu’s book, and nodded down perfectly for Carlton Cole to poach his second goal of the game; the first time he has claimed a brace in his Premier League career. Perhaps he should move to Fulham for better service.

Wigan Athletic repeated their age-old trick of pulling off a result when you least expect it; beating relegation rivals Wolves at Molineux. Colombian firecracker Hugo Rodallega spun his man on nine minutes to fire in the game’s opening goal, after Tom Cleverley had cleverly flicked it on. Wolves almost responded quickly, but for the great hands of Ali Al-Habsi on his goal-line denying Christophe Berra. English football’s lowest scorers then doubled their lead, with Rodallega providing a classy reverse pass to set Cleverley through between defenders to fire between Wayne Hennessey’s legs and in. Wolves then howled at the referee for a penalty, after Stephen Ward hit the deck, but were to be frustrated, as they were when Latics captain Antonin Alcaraz headed the ball blindly against his own arm inside the box. Ali Al-Habsi pulled off a stunning improvisational save, when a Milijas free-kick was heavily deflected. The Omanian goalkeeper had gone down but readjusted to boot the ball away with his trailing leg to preserve Wigan’s lead. Wolves huffed and puffed but could not find a way through until the 86^th minute, when a free-kick was nicked away from a clutch of players to the feet of Stephen Fletcher who poked it in. Unfortunately for Mick McCarthy, this proved to be merely a consolation, which will be no consolation to the fiery Yorkshireman.

Blackburn continued their nosedive under their no-name caretaker, by losing at Big Sam’s own game to Tony Pulis’ Stoke City at Ewood Park. The chicken farmers look like they’ve lost their heads by appointing Steve Kean as permanent boss. If he was that good a manager, why had he never been employed as one before? Blackburn do not have a good enough squad to play expansive football, and quite frankly Big Sam’s rigorous drilling of anti-football tactics was the only surefire way to guarantee their survival. Rovers seem to be favourites for relegation now, unless there is more of an injection of cash in January than the reported £5million. Perhaps the Indian owners saw that Blackburn once signed a goalscorer who helped them to the Premiership title for £5million, but that was 15 years ago and it was Chris Sutton. Stoke nearly took the lead early on through the familiar source of a Rory Delap long throw, but Matty Etherington could only volley back along the goal-line and away. After a forgettable first half, Stoke finally took the lead when the familiar figure of Robert Huth bulleted a header in from an Etherington corner. Etherington once again caused havoc when he set up Kenwyne Jones for a header, but this time Paul Robinson proved equal to it. Kenwyne Jones bundled through three weak Blackburn challenges and put Paul Robinson down, but still couldn’t quite beat the ex-England goalkeeper from a closing angle. Stoke finally killed the game off in the last minute, when Jonathan Walters flicked the ball into the box, where Ricardo Fuller found a low cross to Mark Wilson, who passed it into the net.

Bolton Wanderers held their impressive position in the upper echelons of the Premier League with an excellent victory over West Brom. Peter Odemwingie had a rare off day for the Baggies, which cost them the game. Bolton took the lead when a through-ball found Chung-Yong Lee galloping through and rounding the goalkeeper; apparently going too far, before cutting instantly back to Matt Taylor for an easy finish. Taylor then proceeded to milk his applause for all it was worth and forgot who had put it on a plate for him. Odemwingie missed some sitters before the game slipped away with four minutes to go. Johan Elmander broke through into the box and looked for Klasnic in the centre. When the ball was intercepted and fell back at Elmander’s feet, the big Swede proceeded to find the net from an imposing angle to finish the game for Wanderers. Sixth place is a welcome Christmas present for the Trotters.

Until a couple of days…