Goodbye World Cup, hello Premier League! After the greatest show on Earth proved to be a huge disappointment and unmitigated disaster for England, every jaded football fan breathed a deep sigh of relief at the return of that maginificent monopoly money soap opera that is the English Premier League.

How would Double Winners Chelsea react to their damp squib of a pre-season? The answer was in the style of the end of last season by destroying perennial  hands-up-trousers-down cannon fodder West Bromwich Albion. Even returning hero Roberto Di Matteo could not prevent an annihilation, with equine battering ram Didier Drogba in predictably muscular and prolific form. It's good to see West Brom stick two fingers up to critics who suggested they had to stop standing yards off of superior opponents, and they have even added a new tactical weapon to their armoury: the perforated wall. Meanwhile Scott Carson reminded us why he will never get near the England team again.

As did Chris Kirkland, who must be very concerned he will be playing in the Championship next season, along with the rest of Wigan's shambles of a team. This is a tragic indication for those of us who were delighted with Wigan's colourful contributions to the Premier League last season: Paul Scharner's black/white halved hair; Figueroa's halfway line spectacular; James McCarthy's inexplicable own goal, Dave Whelan's foot-in-mouth outbursts; conceding eight and nine goals in separate games; and the most magnificent flourescent away strip. Judging by their utter ineptitude in being thrashed at home by newly promoted relegation favourites Blackpool, Wigan are heading for a worse points total than their 36 last season, a total that in most seasons would have seen them go down. It seems like selling captain Scharner, as well as the much maligned but influential duo Heskey and Bramble, may cost Wigan the ultimate prize of their place at the top table, as they seem to possess a lightweight attack while treating defending as an optional extra. Adulation to Blackpool though, and credit to Ollie for signing the clearly hungry powerhouse Marlon 'pinhead' Harewood, who will give them a much-needed goal threat.

At moneybags Manchester City, Roberto Mancini, henceforth known as Mancitti, broke Given's heart when Hart was given the goalkeeper's slot at White Hart Lane. Hart responded with a virtuoso display, along with Kompany and De Jong particularly, as City proved that Italians always get the defensive aspects right. Tottenham must have been gutted to come out with just a draw that they may live to regret later in the season.

Villa proved there is life after O'Neill, as James Milner, who must be slightly proud at being responsible for both Kevin Keegan and Smartin' Martin walking out at his sale, did his talking on the pitch. Robert Green proved once again how baffling it is that Capello chose him in the top three goalkeepers in the country, and Avram Grant did little to dispel his doubters, as West Ham continued where they left off last season, leaving the first round Premiership bottom three as the three Ws: West Ham, Wigan and West Brom.

David Jones lit up Molineux with a free-kick right out of the Le Tissier playbook, while Mick McCarthy must be chuffed at the shrewdness of signing Burnley's best player Steven Fletcher, who also scored. Tony Pulis meanwhile was left ruing spending £8 million on a player who may be injured for a considerable time, though it does get a bit tiresome for Stoke to continue bulking their squad up with brawn. But then Pulis may have surrendered the notion of expanding their approach for the certainty that lumping it up and loading the box with big men lends you. Artistry costs more than Stoke are willing to pay apparently. You accept it in a team's first and even second consolidation seasons, but after this you have to question why the Premier League is home to a team that noone outside of their own fans would pay to watch.

Speaking of the unpleasant side of the game, it's not very often i disagree with Steve Bruce, but to blame the referee for clog merchant Lee Cattermole's dismissal was uncalled for. The two cautions, for a cynical shirt tug and a ridiculous kick through the back of former hellraiser Lee Bowyer, were more than justified. The game itself was notable for some excellent approach play from Fraizer Campbell, an hilarious own goal from the always hard-done-by-expressioned head of Stephen Carr, and some diabolically scrappy goals from both sides in an ugly 2-2 draw. Sunderland set a new record for red cards last season, and they appear to be attempting to reach for new heights.

Always up there with the ugliest teams, Blackburn managed to prise a great victory away from notorious slow-starters Everton, who got what they deserved for having a blancmange as a kit, while Mark Hughes would have been relieved to see reserve goalkeeper David Stockdale pull off a great performance, suggesting there may be life after Mark Schwarzer.

Looking forward to the newly-optimistic Liverpool take on the incessantly-if-tentatively-optimistic Arsenal later, and Manchester United determine what Chris Hughton is like as a Premier League manager. Can Newcastle survive adapting their Championship long-ball style to something more cultured, or will it be 'do what it takes' for the Geordies?

Until next week my friends.

Aa.