I want to ride my bicycle kick

Not quite as goal-drenched this weekend, but the Premier League still provided us with some classic moments, as well as that goal to settle the Manchester derby.

Not since the 1970s have Manchester City been so close to their illustrious neighbours, and this particular derby was too close to call; only settled by a moment of genius the likes of which people go to football matches to see, and talk about generations later. Manchester City dominated the opening encounters, with David Silva particularly cunning. The diminutive Spaniard should have opened the scoring after exchanging passes with different players in carving himself a route through the red backline, only to poke the ball a fraction wide of the post as Van Der Sar narrowed his angles. Nani then typically feinted to go right before cutting inside and unleashing with his left, only to clear the crossbar. Darren Fletcher headed a good chance straight at Hart before Nani again came close, but the Portuguese winger opened the scoring when Ryan Giggs flicked a magnificent first-time ball into his path, which he killed and held away from Pablo Zabaleta before rolling the ball expertly wide of Joe Hart’s dive. Mancitti did not let this affect them, despite their tactics generally being inadequate when chasing games, and they equalised when substitute Shaun Wright-Phillips sent in a low cross which Edin Dzeko was first to meet and send on its way wide, before it took a mammoth deflection off of David Silva’s back for a hugely fortuitous leveller. City thought they may have even grabbed the win when a Silva free-kick found Carlos Tevez, who was offside before he forced Van Der Sar into a superb reaction save with his foot. As the cliché goes, they thought it was all over until a Manchester United attack in the last fifteen minutes, which Wayne Rooney almost contrived to lose possession of, but the ball eventually found Nani on his right flank. When his floated cross took a nick off Zabaleta, Rooney readjusted supremely to crash an overhead bicycle kick into the top corner for the most glorious of winners. Despite City deserving a draw, the crowd were left to mutually acclaim the kind of moment we all go to football matches in the hope of seeing. United fans may even forgive his holding the club to ransom at this rate.

West Ham United staged an incomprehensible comeback, as West Bromwich Albion shot themselves in the foot; perhaps a message to the shameful actions of their board in firing Roberto Di Matteo out of the blue. With former Manchester United youngster Michael Appleton in charge, the Baggies raced into a 3-0 half-time lead founded on farcical defending from the hapless Hammers. Peter Odemwingie fed the returning Graham Dorrans on the edge of the box, who swivelled and cracked an instant effort past a stunned Robert Green for the opener. More incisive trickery from Odemwingie saw his low shot palmed out pathetically by Green, and only team-mate Marc-Antoine Fortune prevented Chris Brunt from scoring a second. It wasn’t long before it did become two, when Fortune saved face with a penetrating run and layback to Jerome Thomas, who was given time to take a touch before curling the ball home. Thomas felt aggrieved not to earn a penalty later in the half, when he rounded Green with ease, but crashed down with a touch from Winston Reid facing an open net. An offside Carlton Cole put the ball in the net as a brief riposte, but the Hammers were left with red faces once again, when a Dorrans free-kick evaded everyone, and would have bounced wide if it wasn’t for a sliding Reid at his own back post putting it in for a hopeless own goal. The half did end with West Ham showing some pride, with Demba Ba provoking a superb reaction save from Boaz Myhill; tipping his effort onto the post; and Gary O’Neil thumping the face of the crossbar, with the ensuing goalmouth scramble being deflected over.

Unless Appleton told his players to fold like a deck of cards, the players clearly didn’t take the half-time talk onboard. West Ham reduced the deficit within five minutes, through a Demba Ba strike, with Paul Scharner falling over. More ludicrous defending from the Baggies led to West Ham’s second, when a Mark Noble free-kick was watched and whistled at as Frederic Piquionne sauntered in completely free to nod across for Carlton Cole, who buried his close-range header. Frederic Piquionne then crashed a header from a Wayne Bridge cross onto the crossbar, before Peter Odemwingie led a slight revival in beating three men but seeing his shot saved. West Ham’s relentless attacks finally yielded an equaliser, when a short corner was almost ignored by Albion, a fatal error resulting in Mark Noble sending in a cross not cleared, from which Demba Ba managed to scissor-kick the ball into the net. More Keystone Cops moments later presented Odemwingie and Piquionne with chances, but there was to be no winner in the battle of defensive ineptitude.

The Thames Derby saw an unconvincing Chelsea labour to carve open a disciplined Fulham team. Despite Danny Murphy et al consistently surrendering possession in key areas, Chelski could not open them up, and despite having a mammoth 22 attempts on goal, the Blues only registered 4 on target, while Fulham produced 5 on target from just 9 attempts. Fernando Torres was once again feeling the pressure, and miscontrolled a glorious chance when through on goal, but the real star for Chelsea was new centre-back David Luiz, who looks a fine acquisition. His involvement in attacking play added to his sterling defensive work, though he nearly blemished this in injury time, with an ill-judged poke at Clint Dempsey, who went down for a last-ditch penalty; to the roar of the Craven Cottage faithful. Agonisingly for Fulham fans, Dempsey could only drill the penalty against Cech and miss the rebound, preventing them seeing a priceless last-second win against their illustrious neighbours. That said, Chelsea were fortunate that substitute Didier Drogba escaped censure for encroaching almost to the line of the penalty spot by the time the ball was struck. Despite almost reaching his natural eyeline, Drogba escaped the attention of Mike Dean, who seemed more relieved that the penalty was missed. A goalless draw that all but ends Chelsea’s hopes of title retention for this season.

Arsenal kept the pressure on United at the top with a resounding victory against the Kings of the Lord Mayor’s Show; Wolves. Robin Van Persie continued his superb form; scissor-kicking in a Fabregas centre after sixteen minutes. Some lovely work from Andrei Arshavin set up Theo Walcott, whose shot produced a magnificent Hennessey save, while the rebound from Fabregas was drilled against Stearman on the line and away. Jack Wilshere produced some magic to set up Theo Walcott for a glorious chance, but somehow the England winger sidefooted the ball wide of the target. Richard Stearman then had Wayne Hennessey to thank once again for brilliantly preventing his own goal. The killer second came just before the hour mark, when Theo Walcott was set away, and squared the ball for Van Persie to expertly notch his brace. Walcott later produced another good save from Hennessey, while Sylvain Ebanks-Blake fired a rare Wolves chance over.

Tottenham Hotspur moved, and stayed, above Chelsea in the table with a comeback victory over Sunderland at the Stadium of Light. The Mackems were ahead after ten minutes, from a superb piece of skill from Asamoah Gyan; who received a low Richardson cross, before swivelling and firing in a shot in the same movement before Dawson could make a challenge. Heurelho Gomes was just as surprised as the shot flew past him. Phil Bardsley joined the attack and fired over before Michael Dawson grabbed an equaliser just before half-time. A Stephen Pienaar corner saw Titus Bramble go nap-nap, as his man Dawson stole in to nod down and through the luckless Gordon’s legs on the line. The second half saw Phil Bardsley make an unfeasible goal-line clearance as William Gallas looked set to force man and ball in, while a decent effort from ex-Spurs man Steed Malbranque was well parried by Gomes. The winner came when Vedran Corluka played a hopeful but superbly placed ball past the last man. No Sunderland man seemed to react, and Sandro galloped onto it, before delivering a cross that John Mensah nodded out only as far as Nico Krancjar, who volleyed gloriously into the corner of Gordon’s net. A Pienaar dribble and high shot was then followed by Kieran Richardson clipping the crossbar with a deflected effort. Spurs’ strength in depth saw to their win again; with Krancjar proving his worth despite being kept out of the side most of the season by Gareth Bale.

Liverpool’s run of wins ground to a halt, as Wigan Athletic dug in to claim a point at Anfield. Raul Meireles had continued his superb goalscoring run with a timely volley to open their account, but Wigan fought to rescue the game, and did so when a free-kick wasn’t cleared properly, and Charles N’Zogbia sent in a teasing cross flicked on by Alcaraz, missed by Rodallega but poked in by Steve Gohouri to end the Reds’ recent run of clean sheets. Replays showed Gohouri to be fractionally offside, so Liverpool will be disgruntled. That said, the Kop had a great display from new striker Luis Suarez, who bears more than a passing resemblance to former toothy idol Milan Baros. After going down early claiming a penalty, the Uruguayan clipped the post and later battered the crossbar with a superb free-kick, to leave the Anfield faithful hopeful of a new hero to worship.

Only two goals at Broomfield Road, where Blackpool stopped the rot by coming back to prevent a sixth straight defeat against Aston Villa. Darren Bent had proved that there is more to his game than poaching, when he sent a brilliant first-time flick through to Gabriel Agbonlahor, who rounded Richard Kingson and found the net despite two covering defenders; the ball nutmegging Ian Evatt on its way in. Less than five minutes later Eliot Grandin flicked a corner in at the near post, and the Tangerines were level. Sheffield Wednesday reject Lukee Varney headed a fantastic chance wide after being found by Marlon Harewood, while Richard Kingson produced a one-on-one save after Stewart Downing had worked himself through on goal. DJ Campbell sent in a cross-shot that somehow Varney missed again, before Downing then struck the outside of the Blackpool post. Varney then almost made amends by being the provider, but his cross was bundled wide by DJ Campbell. Jason Puncheon volleyed just wide as Blackpool attempted to seize the game, and their task seemed to be made easier when Jean Makoun was deservedly red-carded for launching DJ Campbell up in the air with a two-footed challenge. However, Villa thought they may have had the last laugh, only to be denied a penalty when Ashley Young went down late on under a Baptiste challenge.

Everton are facing up to a relegation battle, after Bolton comfortably beat them at the Reebok Stadium. The opener was as unlucky as they come. First, Lee Probert somehow deemed Paul Robinson sending Victor Anichebe flying as a Bolton free-kick. Then, Holden’s delivery found Gary Cahill flicking the ball towards goal, but as Howard plunged to meet it, the ball then cannoned off Johnny Heitinga and into the opposite corner. Leighton Baines’ fabulous cross was then guided wide by Tim Cahill, who would normally have headed but decided to volley; a costly decision. Bolton’s second came in a goalmouth scramble in which Gary Cahill bundled Heitinga over; the ball eventually headed on for Daniel Sturridge to crack a close-range half-volley into the net for his third goal in three Bolton appearances. The Trotters were aggrieved later to be denied a great third, when Sturridge backheeled on the touchline for Holden to convert, though replays showed the ball had narrowly crossed the line before Sturridge had touched it. All in all, the Toffees were counting the cost of once again missing Luis Saha through injury.

After the groundbreaking 4-4 draw against Arsenal last week, it was inevitable that Newcastle would follow this with a goalless draw. Roque Santa Cruz headed an early chance against the post for Rovers, while Peter Lovenkrands hit the crossbar with a deft lob, after a fantastic long pass from Jose Enrique. Fabricio Coloccini juggled a corner before driving in a thunderous volley brilliantly parried by Paul Robinson. Late on, Newcastle’s man-of-the-match Enrique jinked and slalomed through four Blackburn defenders, but still found no route to goal, as both teams move up to 32 points.

When anti-goals met anti-football at St Andrews, the resulting contest was turgid, to say the least. Birmingham’s policy holding onto what they’ve got before throwing Nikola Zigic up front for the last 15 has proved yawn-inducing for most neutrals, though to McLeish’s credit, he has recently begun deploying two strikers (one being Zigic) at home now, and with Obafemi Martins as a new loan centre-forward, perhaps their encounters will prove slightly more interesting in the future. Stoke, on the other hand, have jettisoned their two flair players, and are more Sunday League than ever. This is usually aligned to sly incidents of ungentlemanly conduct, usually from Robert Huth. The big German didn’t let us down this time either; reacting to the ball striking his hand in the box by going down clutching his face. Stephen Taylor would have been proud. There had really been nothing to crow about in this fixture until the very last minute, when Birmingham worked the ball into the box. Asmir Begovic spilled David Bentley’s shot, and then made a mess of preventing Cameron Jerome’s follow-up dink from reaching the giant Zigic, who gleefully nodded in from a yard. Burn the tape of this game, and let us never speak of it again.