Gunners fire blanks at the Bridge, while it's Double-Dutch at the Lane

Some things never change, while some things change unexpectedly. Arsenal proved impotent at the Bridge for the umpteenth time, while Birmingham, unbeaten for a year at St Andrews, lost at home to the only previously winless team. Tottenham learnt how to win following Champions League exertions, while Manchester United dropped away points for the third time.

If you were to write an outline for Chelsea against Arsenal at Stamford Bridge it would probably read: ‘Arsenal on top; dominate early possession; lots of chances missed; Chelsea score against run of play before half-time, most likely through Drogba; Arsenal work way back into game and look set to equalise after long spell of sustained pressure; Chelsea counter and kill game off again against the run of play.’ It’s happened in almost every fixture since Mourinho took over, and it never looked like changing on Sunday.

Arsene Wenger may be a gifted coach in the art of fluent football, but his big weakness is still not respecting the strengths of his opponents. Wenger never believes in altering tactics to counter the opposition, and he pays for this time and again against the strongest Premiership teams. Chelsea know exactly how Arsenal will play, structure their tactics to contain them, and launch their own sucker-punches. History depressingly repeats itself as far as Gunners fans are concerned, though this generic outcome could have been avoided had Laurent Koscielny not offered up a contender for Frederic Piquionne’s miss of the century award. A corner flicked on at the near post found Koscielny with not a man to bother him four yards from goal, though he inexplicably appeared to turn his back in mid-air, allowing the ball to strike him on the back of the neck and loop over the crossbar, to the general disbelief of everyone present. The game began furiously, racing from one end to the other, with Samir Nasri looking particularly incisive for Arsenal. Despite this, a decent Petr Cech save from an Arshavin strike was pretty much all Arsenal had to show for their early endeavour, while Fabianski kept out a Drogba snapshot at his near post.

Credit has to go to Arsenal’s reserve goalkeeper, who looked like the worst in Premier League history last season, but did what he had to well in this game. Despite his efforts, the inevitable happened before the first half was over. After Squillaci had given away a needless free-kick, he helpfully rolled the ball back to Chelsea to launch a quick counter-attack. The ball was lost momentarily, before gangly Brazilian Ramires won a vital challenge, receiving the return from Mikel and finding a penetrating pass through to Cashley Cole on the left wing, whose low centre was guided against the post and in by the pirouetting Drogba. Chelsea’s new signings were finding their feet, while Arsenal’s, especially Chamakh and Squillaci, were bottling it. In the second half Arsenal continued to enjoy impotent possession, while Anelka almost sewed the game up after battering the hapless Squillaci off the ball and rounding Fabianski. To Fabianski’s credit, he stayed on his feet long enough to send Anelka wide enough for him to miss the open net. Cashley had a tantrum at having a goal disallowed against the club who wouldn’t meet his ‘meagre’ wage demands way back when, before Anelka was taken down on the edge of the box. Fans were then treated to one of the finest free-kicks they will ever see, when the Brazilian who can actually defend; nightclub doorman look-a-like Alex, used his cannon of a right foot to swerve a howitzer around the edge of the wall and almost through the top of the net.

The Liverpool fans gutted and disgusted at losing to Blackpool at Anfield, saying it is a new low, were surely missing the point. Liverpool have been losing to Premiership relegation favourites at Anfield for years! Remember Barnsley in 1997? Or Watford in 1999?

http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/blogs/mirror-football-blog/Fortress-Anfield-Five-unlikely-Liverpool-defeats-in-front-of-the-Kop-including-Barnsley-Watford-Reading-and-Northampton-article594207.html

Ignoring these omens, this result was staggering, more for the complete ineptitude of the home team against Premier League newcomers than the score-line, which actually flattered the Liverest of Pools.

The Pool of Black were playing at Anfield for the first time since 1971, and tore into their challenge, dominating the first half. Jose Reina had to beat out an early Charlie Adam free-kick, while a low Torres cross was missed by Joe Cole, after Eardley had breathed down his neck. Liver’s challenge ceased the moment that Fernando heard the drums and was forced off with some kind of strain. Charlie Adam raked a cross-field ball to Sheffield Wednesday reject Luke Varney, whose negligible footwork was bought hook, line and sinker by Glen Johnson for a stonewall penalty, which Adam himself dispatched clinically. Both sets of Pools’ supporters must have been rubbing their eyes in disbelief at the amount of space Black were allowed to manoeuvre in through midfield. When Charlie Adam got a bit complacent, Gilks helped him out with a save from N’Gog, and Black were dreaming of a famous victory in first half stoppage time when Taylor-Fletcher threaded a slide-rule pass to Luke Varney; a failure at Sheffield Wednesday but a hit here, as he fired through Reina’s body for 2-0 at the break.

In the second half Liver inevitably woke up. N’Gog did what he does best when he missed a sitter from a Kuyt cross, while the Scouse giants were back in the game after a diabolical free-kick for a non-existent challenge went their way. Gerrard swung it in, and Kyrgiakos powered a header under the bar. The Kop were on their feet when Joe Cole danced through to beat Gilks, only to see his dink miss the far post. That man Varney once again made a difference when he made a mug of Kyrgiakos and almost found DJ Campbell. Dirk Kuyt missed a prime headed chance before Gilks earned his wages with a superb save from another Kyrgiakos header, meaning the Pool of Black now hold the Premiership’s best away record, while the Pool of Liver will stew in the bottom three until after the international break.

Manchester United were held once more away from home, at the now near-impregnable Stadium of Light. As bad as Liverpool were in the first half of their game, Manchester United matched them, with a decent Nani free-kick the only bright spot from 45 minutes of mediocrity, in which Sunderland dominated. Steed Malbranque will be kicking himself at being foiled one-on-one by Van Der Sar, after Lee Cattermole had proved there are more strings to his bow than brainless tackles with an inch-perfect through ball between Fletcher and Vidic. After a Henderson free-kick was punched away, the ball was driven back at speed, and Nedim Onuoha’s instinctive stab ricocheted off Vidic almost on the goal-line, before the classy veteran Boudewijn Zenden cracked a drive against the post. United were fortunate to go in at the break goal-less, and Sir Alex Ferguson brought on Dimitar Berbatov for a more potent threat, with Owen and Macheda not gelling. Berbatov almost had an early impact, but his finish was ruled offside.

Hernandez was also introduced after the hour mark, and it was he who missed a presentable headed chance at the back post. A Darren Bent shot was deflected wide after Rafael had gone awol, and at the other end Berbatov cantered onto an Hernandez pass but dragged his effort just wide. The denoument of the match saw dynamic substitute Asamoah Gyan almost snatch the glory with a fabulous overhead kick, but Van Der Sar brilliantly preserved United’s unbeaten start. Although United have fallen five points behind Chelsea after a game more, the three away games they have drawn are traditionally fixtures: Fulham; Everton; Sunderland, that most teams would be happy to take a point in.

Birmingham City could not make it an entire Premier League campaign’s worth of unbeaten home games, as Everton finally leapt out of the doldrums and into 17^th place with their first victory of the season. Lining up in their notorious blancmange kit, Everton started strongly, with Leighton Baines seemingly taken down clumsily by Stephen Carr for what looked like a penalty. Mouth Almighty Roger Johnson made an arse of himself by slipping on his arse and allowing Yakubu a free run on goal. His shot was pushed into the corner by Ben Foster, where Liam Ridgewell was waiting to clear off the line. An even clearer penalty was denied to Leighton Baines when Sebastian Larsson whipped his standing leg out just inside the box but Phil Dowd was bizarrely uninterested.

In the 53^rd minute, Everton’s superiority was embellished with the opening goal, when Duracell Bunny Leon Osman motored down the line and whipped in a low cross. Roger Johnson appeared to attempt to trap the ball at high speed, and only succeeded in putting it in his own net, matching his fellow centre-back Scott Dann’s feats against West Brom a fortnight ago. Birmingham responded positively, and Stephen Carr, with no hint of irony, was indignant when he was sent crashing over inside the box by none other than Leighton Baines. Roger Johnson then tried his luck at winning a penalty, before Brum were most unfortunate that Phil Dowd’s penalty box myopia extended to missing a blatant handball by Seamus Coleman. Birmingham’s resistance was finished in the last minute, when man-of-the-match Baines jinked and found a cross for Tim Cahill to slam in a diving header, with Lee Bowyer chasing shadows. At the final whistle, there were boos around the ground, indicating that Birmingham fans have mistaken themselves for Real Madrid fans.

A tale of two penalty claims, as Mancitti further staked their claims as title pretenders with a valuable win against plucky Newcastle at Eastlands. Newcastle were shaken after just three minutes, when a ‘rigorous’ tackle by Nigel De Jong, most famous for attempting to tackle Xabi Alonso’s heart in the World Cup final, resulted in Hatem Ben Arfa shattering his leg in two places. Apparently David Pleat didn’t think the injury was bad from Ben Arfa’s reaction, but the fact his leg had gone soft below the knee was probably a clue things were not hunky-dory. Mancitti took the lead in the 17^th minute, when Carlos Tevez was taken down from an awkward angle by Mike Williamson. Replays seemed to suggest the contact was outside the box, but nevertheless, Tevez belted the penalty home. An instinctive Fabricio Coloccini snapshot almost caught Hart out, before Vincent became Bad Kompany, slicing a rather silly scissor-kick straight to Jonas Gutierrez, who rasped it back into the net with interest.

In the second period, Tim Krul had to beat away a Tevez effort, before Adam Johnson was finally released like a hungry dog onto the pitch. Within a few minutes, James Milner slid him down the line where his trickery saw him leave Barton and Enrique punch-drunk, before planting a perfect shot inside the far post. This turned out to be the winner, because Martin Atkinson somehow missed a penalty so obvious it should have come with a klaxon. Shola Ameobi nicked the ball past Joleon Lescott who clearly scythed him down, only for Atkinson to wave play-on. Mike Williamson missed a glorious chance to redeem himself from a corner, and that was that.

Champions League cavaliers Tottenham Hotspur managed to earn a victory following a European adventure, driven by the irrepressible brilliance of new signing Rafael Van Der Vaart. Van Der Vaart is one of those players who fits in so easily and has such an influence on games that he makes other players look very overpaid. The canny Redknapp tends to find a free role for the Dutchman, and VDV then moves about the pitch like a puppet-master, pulling strings as though from above. Roman Pavlyuchenko had headed a decent chance over before Aston Villa took the lead, with Emile Heskey bulldozing Sebastian Bassong; no weakling, off the ball, getting to the byline and releasing across goal for Albrighton to score the opener. Pavlyuchenko narrowly missed another great chance from a Bale cross, while Ashley Young threatened with a free-kick. VDV then got interested, narrowly missing and then stinging the hands of Brad Friedel, before he grabbed the equaliser deep into first half stoppage time. A superb Pavlyuchenko cross was nodded across goal by beanpole Crouch for Van Der Vaart to nod in past two defenders on the line.

In the second half, the trick was repeated, only for Stylian Petrov to punish VDV’s casualness with a timely challenge as he was set to score. Richard Dunne was next to smother VDV’s seemingly endless routes to goal, while at the other end a wicked cross into the corridor of uncertainty by Ashley Young was attacked and missed by Carew and Gomes at the near post, and Albrighton agonisingly at the far. After Peter Crouch had missed a great headed chance, he turned provider once more. Lennon’s dinked cross was knocked down by Crouch, Van Der Vaart feinted to put Dunne on his backside before rifling the ball into the net. There was still time for VDV to almost get the hat-trick his performance merited, narrowly clearing the bar with a ferocious strike from a Gareth Bale free-kick lay-off.

The always interesting Wigan Athletic continued their revival with a priceless home victory against Wolves, doubling their meagre goal tally in the process. Their cause was helped no end by Karl Henry, a man who had gone to great lengths to scorn the suggestions that Wolves are a dirty team, before launching into a tackle so hard and fast it sent Jordi Gomez into a somersault, after just ten minutes. To call it reckless would be an understatement, and his red card essentially ended Wolves’ hoped of winning the match, though they may have hoped to hold out against such a shot-shy side. Stephen Fletcher sent a soft Wolves free-kick just over in a sign of resistance, before Wigan began to dominate. Franco Di Santo looked menacing, weaving into the box before being blocked by Craddock, but the first half seemed stifled.

It was only in the second period that Wigan possession began to bear fruit. Hugo Rodallega dummied a through ball before brilliantly exchanging passes with Di Santo, whose point-blank effort was somehow kept out by Hahnemann’s body. On 65 minutes, the foraging N’Zogbia was tugged on the edge of the box, and the resulting free-kick was magnificently dispatched in off the crossbar by Jordi Gomez, who actually started his run-up in front of the ball. Later in the half a launched long pass from Gomez was similarly launched towards goal first time by Di Santo; Hahnemann alert enough to deny them. Five minutes before the end, Wigan still poured forward, and a delightfully threaded through-ball from N’Zogbia was kicked against Rodallega and in by the lunging Christophe Berra, an intriguing cock-up previously achieved by Richard Stearmann a fortnight ago against Spurs. Mick McCarthy was very disappointed with Karl Henry post-match, and must be concerned that his side’s excellent start has been undone by four straight defeats.

Anyone wishing to watch highly-paid Sunday League tactics were in for a treat, as the clogs of war were out in force at the Britannia; Stoke City entertaining Blackburn Rovers; ‘entertaining’ being the operative word. This game contained many predictable aspects: Rory Delap hit the post twice from huge throw-ins; Christopher Samba cleared off the goal-line and was generally immense, but there were less predictable aspects too; Jermaine Pennant looked a constant threat for instance. Matthew Etherington twice hit the side-netting when he should have scored, whilst Ryan Shawcross also successfully defended his goal-line from Brett Emerton’s effort. The match was settled in the 48^th minute, when Kenwyne Jones fed Etherington, who slid the ball through Christopher Samba for ex-Blackburn youngster and Ipswich starlet Jonathan Walters to bound through and finish confidently. Big Sam will not appreciate being beaten at his own game.

The newly effective and impressive West Bromwich Albion were held to a draw at the Hawthorns by the still-improving Bolton Wanderers. After Roberto Di Matteo had received the Premier League Manager of the Month award, the odds were on the Baggies blowing it, and it looked even more likely when Gary Cahill contrived to miss a free header from a corner. At the other end, player of the month Peter Odemwingie headed a decent chance over himself, and a forgettable first half was over. Inside 20 seconds of the second half the teams decided to step up their performance; Martin Petrov missing a glaring opportunity after some lovely Bolton approach play. Just after the hour mark, Chung-Yong Lee flicked the ball to Davies, who killed it lovingly into the path of Johan Elmander for a tidy finish. Petrov missed another opportunity to extend the lead when Tamas blundered, before Zat Knight followed suit for Odemwingie to miss. Despite his poor accuracy beforehand, Odemwingie showed why he was player of the month by then providing a sublime cross for James Morrison to ghost into the box and score the equaliser. Not satisfied with this, the Nigerian later charged through to set up Chris Brunt, whose effort was well saved by Jaaskelainen. The Trotters had a glorious chance to snatch it at the death with Taylor, but this would not have been a reflection on the game; a point being a fair result.

The rejuvenated Hammers sank back to the foot of the table, despite a comeback against still-unbeaten draw specialists Fulham. Shorn of strikers, Mark Hughes started with the Yankee duo of Clint Dempsey and Eddie Johnson up front, and another North American import, Carlos Salcido made a vital goal-line clearance from Frederic Piquionne. Although the ball seemed to possibly be going just wide, it could have been a message to the recently-departed Paul Konchesky on how to properly defend at the post. Robert Green’s World Cup tormentor Clint Dempey was pole-axed by a rogue arm from Manuel Da Costa which left him with a corking shiner, and when his compatriot Johnson was molested to the ground by Jacobsen, apparently fairly by Andre Marriner, he must have felt hard done by. He channelled this frustration into once again beating Robert Green, after exchanging passes with Davies, whose lucky looped return was half-vollied in by the USA striker. Dempsey later shaved the crossbar, but the second half saw the normally-imperious Brede Hangeland needlessly give the ball away on the edge of the ‘D’, leading to Boa Morte feeding Obinna, whose lovely stand-up was headed home by Piquionne.

Dempsey wriggled through to be smothered by Green, while the Hammers stopper then kept out Etuhu from a Baird cross. Dempsey nearly had the decisive word when he set substitute Diomansy Kamara away, only for the rusty striker to blaze over. A decent point for Fulham given their injury woes, but West Ham are propping up the rest once more.

See you after the international break my friends.