I want to ride my bicycle kick

Not quite as goal-drenched this weekend, but the Premier League still provided us with some classic moments, as well as that goal to settle the Manchester derby.

Not since the 1970s have Manchester City been so close to their illustrious neighbours, and this particular derby was too close to call; only settled by a moment of genius the likes of which people go to football matches to see, and talk about generations later. Manchester City dominated the opening encounters, with David Silva particularly cunning. The diminutive Spaniard should have opened the scoring after exchanging passes with different players in carving himself a route through the red backline, only to poke the ball a fraction wide of the post as Van Der Sar narrowed his angles. Nani then typically feinted to go right before cutting inside and unleashing with his left, only to clear the crossbar. Darren Fletcher headed a good chance straight at Hart before Nani again came close, but the Portuguese winger opened the scoring when Ryan Giggs flicked a magnificent first-time ball into his path, which he killed and held away from Pablo Zabaleta before rolling the ball expertly wide of Joe Hart’s dive. Mancitti did not let this affect them, despite their tactics generally being inadequate when chasing games, and they equalised when substitute Shaun Wright-Phillips sent in a low cross which Edin Dzeko was first to meet and send on its way wide, before it took a mammoth deflection off of David Silva’s back for a hugely fortuitous leveller. City thought they may have even grabbed the win when a Silva free-kick found Carlos Tevez, who was offside before he forced Van Der Sar into a superb reaction save with his foot. As the cliché goes, they thought it was all over until a Manchester United attack in the last fifteen minutes, which Wayne Rooney almost contrived to lose possession of, but the ball eventually found Nani on his right flank. When his floated cross took a nick off Zabaleta, Rooney readjusted supremely to crash an overhead bicycle kick into the top corner for the most glorious of winners. Despite City deserving a draw, the crowd were left to mutually acclaim the kind of moment we all go to football matches in the hope of seeing. United fans may even forgive his holding the club to ransom at this rate.

West Ham United staged an incomprehensible comeback, as West Bromwich Albion shot themselves in the foot; perhaps a message to the shameful actions of their board in firing Roberto Di Matteo out of the blue. With former Manchester United youngster Michael Appleton in charge, the Baggies raced into a 3-0 half-time lead founded on farcical defending from the hapless Hammers. Peter Odemwingie fed the returning Graham Dorrans on the edge of the box, who swivelled and cracked an instant effort past a stunned Robert Green for the opener. More incisive trickery from Odemwingie saw his low shot palmed out pathetically by Green, and only team-mate Marc-Antoine Fortune prevented Chris Brunt from scoring a second. It wasn’t long before it did become two, when Fortune saved face with a penetrating run and layback to Jerome Thomas, who was given time to take a touch before curling the ball home. Thomas felt aggrieved not to earn a penalty later in the half, when he rounded Green with ease, but crashed down with a touch from Winston Reid facing an open net. An offside Carlton Cole put the ball in the net as a brief riposte, but the Hammers were left with red faces once again, when a Dorrans free-kick evaded everyone, and would have bounced wide if it wasn’t for a sliding Reid at his own back post putting it in for a hopeless own goal. The half did end with West Ham showing some pride, with Demba Ba provoking a superb reaction save from Boaz Myhill; tipping his effort onto the post; and Gary O’Neil thumping the face of the crossbar, with the ensuing goalmouth scramble being deflected over.

Unless Appleton told his players to fold like a deck of cards, the players clearly didn’t take the half-time talk onboard. West Ham reduced the deficit within five minutes, through a Demba Ba strike, with Paul Scharner falling over. More ludicrous defending from the Baggies led to West Ham’s second, when a Mark Noble free-kick was watched and whistled at as Frederic Piquionne sauntered in completely free to nod across for Carlton Cole, who buried his close-range header. Frederic Piquionne then crashed a header from a Wayne Bridge cross onto the crossbar, before Peter Odemwingie led a slight revival in beating three men but seeing his shot saved. West Ham’s relentless attacks finally yielded an equaliser, when a short corner was almost ignored by Albion, a fatal error resulting in Mark Noble sending in a cross not cleared, from which Demba Ba managed to scissor-kick the ball into the net. More Keystone Cops moments later presented Odemwingie and Piquionne with chances, but there was to be no winner in the battle of defensive ineptitude.

The Thames Derby saw an unconvincing Chelsea labour to carve open a disciplined Fulham team. Despite Danny Murphy et al consistently surrendering possession in key areas, Chelski could not open them up, and despite having a mammoth 22 attempts on goal, the Blues only registered 4 on target, while Fulham produced 5 on target from just 9 attempts. Fernando Torres was once again feeling the pressure, and miscontrolled a glorious chance when through on goal, but the real star for Chelsea was new centre-back David Luiz, who looks a fine acquisition. His involvement in attacking play added to his sterling defensive work, though he nearly blemished this in injury time, with an ill-judged poke at Clint Dempsey, who went down for a last-ditch penalty; to the roar of the Craven Cottage faithful. Agonisingly for Fulham fans, Dempsey could only drill the penalty against Cech and miss the rebound, preventing them seeing a priceless last-second win against their illustrious neighbours. That said, Chelsea were fortunate that substitute Didier Drogba escaped censure for encroaching almost to the line of the penalty spot by the time the ball was struck. Despite almost reaching his natural eyeline, Drogba escaped the attention of Mike Dean, who seemed more relieved that the penalty was missed. A goalless draw that all but ends Chelsea’s hopes of title retention for this season.

Arsenal kept the pressure on United at the top with a resounding victory against the Kings of the Lord Mayor’s Show; Wolves. Robin Van Persie continued his superb form; scissor-kicking in a Fabregas centre after sixteen minutes. Some lovely work from Andrei Arshavin set up Theo Walcott, whose shot produced a magnificent Hennessey save, while the rebound from Fabregas was drilled against Stearman on the line and away. Jack Wilshere produced some magic to set up Theo Walcott for a glorious chance, but somehow the England winger sidefooted the ball wide of the target. Richard Stearman then had Wayne Hennessey to thank once again for brilliantly preventing his own goal. The killer second came just before the hour mark, when Theo Walcott was set away, and squared the ball for Van Persie to expertly notch his brace. Walcott later produced another good save from Hennessey, while Sylvain Ebanks-Blake fired a rare Wolves chance over.

Tottenham Hotspur moved, and stayed, above Chelsea in the table with a comeback victory over Sunderland at the Stadium of Light. The Mackems were ahead after ten minutes, from a superb piece of skill from Asamoah Gyan; who received a low Richardson cross, before swivelling and firing in a shot in the same movement before Dawson could make a challenge. Heurelho Gomes was just as surprised as the shot flew past him. Phil Bardsley joined the attack and fired over before Michael Dawson grabbed an equaliser just before half-time. A Stephen Pienaar corner saw Titus Bramble go nap-nap, as his man Dawson stole in to nod down and through the luckless Gordon’s legs on the line. The second half saw Phil Bardsley make an unfeasible goal-line clearance as William Gallas looked set to force man and ball in, while a decent effort from ex-Spurs man Steed Malbranque was well parried by Gomes. The winner came when Vedran Corluka played a hopeful but superbly placed ball past the last man. No Sunderland man seemed to react, and Sandro galloped onto it, before delivering a cross that John Mensah nodded out only as far as Nico Krancjar, who volleyed gloriously into the corner of Gordon’s net. A Pienaar dribble and high shot was then followed by Kieran Richardson clipping the crossbar with a deflected effort. Spurs’ strength in depth saw to their win again; with Krancjar proving his worth despite being kept out of the side most of the season by Gareth Bale.

Liverpool’s run of wins ground to a halt, as Wigan Athletic dug in to claim a point at Anfield. Raul Meireles had continued his superb goalscoring run with a timely volley to open their account, but Wigan fought to rescue the game, and did so when a free-kick wasn’t cleared properly, and Charles N’Zogbia sent in a teasing cross flicked on by Alcaraz, missed by Rodallega but poked in by Steve Gohouri to end the Reds’ recent run of clean sheets. Replays showed Gohouri to be fractionally offside, so Liverpool will be disgruntled. That said, the Kop had a great display from new striker Luis Suarez, who bears more than a passing resemblance to former toothy idol Milan Baros. After going down early claiming a penalty, the Uruguayan clipped the post and later battered the crossbar with a superb free-kick, to leave the Anfield faithful hopeful of a new hero to worship.

Only two goals at Broomfield Road, where Blackpool stopped the rot by coming back to prevent a sixth straight defeat against Aston Villa. Darren Bent had proved that there is more to his game than poaching, when he sent a brilliant first-time flick through to Gabriel Agbonlahor, who rounded Richard Kingson and found the net despite two covering defenders; the ball nutmegging Ian Evatt on its way in. Less than five minutes later Eliot Grandin flicked a corner in at the near post, and the Tangerines were level. Sheffield Wednesday reject Lukee Varney headed a fantastic chance wide after being found by Marlon Harewood, while Richard Kingson produced a one-on-one save after Stewart Downing had worked himself through on goal. DJ Campbell sent in a cross-shot that somehow Varney missed again, before Downing then struck the outside of the Blackpool post. Varney then almost made amends by being the provider, but his cross was bundled wide by DJ Campbell. Jason Puncheon volleyed just wide as Blackpool attempted to seize the game, and their task seemed to be made easier when Jean Makoun was deservedly red-carded for launching DJ Campbell up in the air with a two-footed challenge. However, Villa thought they may have had the last laugh, only to be denied a penalty when Ashley Young went down late on under a Baptiste challenge.

Everton are facing up to a relegation battle, after Bolton comfortably beat them at the Reebok Stadium. The opener was as unlucky as they come. First, Lee Probert somehow deemed Paul Robinson sending Victor Anichebe flying as a Bolton free-kick. Then, Holden’s delivery found Gary Cahill flicking the ball towards goal, but as Howard plunged to meet it, the ball then cannoned off Johnny Heitinga and into the opposite corner. Leighton Baines’ fabulous cross was then guided wide by Tim Cahill, who would normally have headed but decided to volley; a costly decision. Bolton’s second came in a goalmouth scramble in which Gary Cahill bundled Heitinga over; the ball eventually headed on for Daniel Sturridge to crack a close-range half-volley into the net for his third goal in three Bolton appearances. The Trotters were aggrieved later to be denied a great third, when Sturridge backheeled on the touchline for Holden to convert, though replays showed the ball had narrowly crossed the line before Sturridge had touched it. All in all, the Toffees were counting the cost of once again missing Luis Saha through injury.

After the groundbreaking 4-4 draw against Arsenal last week, it was inevitable that Newcastle would follow this with a goalless draw. Roque Santa Cruz headed an early chance against the post for Rovers, while Peter Lovenkrands hit the crossbar with a deft lob, after a fantastic long pass from Jose Enrique. Fabricio Coloccini juggled a corner before driving in a thunderous volley brilliantly parried by Paul Robinson. Late on, Newcastle’s man-of-the-match Enrique jinked and slalomed through four Blackburn defenders, but still found no route to goal, as both teams move up to 32 points.

When anti-goals met anti-football at St Andrews, the resulting contest was turgid, to say the least. Birmingham’s policy holding onto what they’ve got before throwing Nikola Zigic up front for the last 15 has proved yawn-inducing for most neutrals, though to McLeish’s credit, he has recently begun deploying two strikers (one being Zigic) at home now, and with Obafemi Martins as a new loan centre-forward, perhaps their encounters will prove slightly more interesting in the future. Stoke, on the other hand, have jettisoned their two flair players, and are more Sunday League than ever. This is usually aligned to sly incidents of ungentlemanly conduct, usually from Robert Huth. The big German didn’t let us down this time either; reacting to the ball striking his hand in the box by going down clutching his face. Stephen Taylor would have been proud. There had really been nothing to crow about in this fixture until the very last minute, when Birmingham worked the ball into the box. Asmir Begovic spilled David Bentley’s shot, and then made a mess of preventing Cameron Jerome’s follow-up dink from reaching the giant Zigic, who gleefully nodded in from a yard. Burn the tape of this game, and let us never speak of it again.

Great comebacks, bad comebacks and a deluge of goals

In quite possibly the most exciting and madcap weekend in Premier League history, a new record was set for goals scored on a single Saturday, a team recovered from 4 goals down to gain a point for the first time in Premier League history, and the top team lost their unbeaten run to the bottom team. The lowest scorers in all four divisions scored four, Luis Saha scored that many by himself, while Carlos Tevez celebrated his 27^th birthday with a hat-trick.

Where else to start but St James’ Park, where the comeback of all comebacks ensued in a contender for the Premier League’s finest game. You would struggle to find a game anywhere that sees all four goals scored by one team in the first 25 minutes, and all four goals in reply scored in the last 25. An incredible game started with both teams deploying something of a diamond formation. Many observers worried where Newcastle’s goals would now come from. When Andrei Arshavin flicked a great pass through to Theo Walcott, racing goal-side of the sluggish Coloccini, the England winger finished expertly: all within forty-five seconds. Before the home fans had settled into their seats Arsenal had gone two goals up, when a cutely delivered Arshavin free-kick was headed in off the crossbar by Johann Djorou. Newcastle did not learn any lessons, and their defence was statuesque and completely lacking responsibility when Walcott practically walked between admiring black-and-white shirts into the box, before pulling the ball back for a slackly-marked Robin Van Persie to slot home from close-range after just ten minutes. It took slightly longer for the fourth to arrive, but when Baccary Sagna’s delicious cross was headed in expertly by Van Persie, a sizeable proportion of the St James’ Park faithful decided they had seen enough. How must they now feel?

It almost got worse for Toon when a gorgeous Fabregas long pass sent Van Persie away, but his lob just cleared the crossbar. The second half began with most expecting a continuation of the Gunners’ execution squad, but things changed irrevocably when Abou Diaby completely lost his head when Joey Barton won a loose ball with a hard tackle. Diaby clearly wasn’t expecting it and got clattered; responding by throwing Barton to the ground, and then pushing Kevin Nolan away when he tried to offer his machismo. The red card that accompanied his lunacy altered the course of a game that Arsenal had dead and buried. After the red card, the onus was on Arsenal’s defence to stand strong, but as usual they failed the test miserably. Laurent Koscielny was first to crack, when he attempted to poke at the ball through Leon Best, who went down for an inevitable penalty award. Joey Barton notched the penalty brilliantly, before goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny decided to play silly buggers. Joey Barton played along for a bit before big bad Kevin Nolan decided he didn’t much like this game and hauled the goalkeeper to the ground by the neck. An offence which, ironically, Nolan only got a yellow card for when it seemed on the same level as Diaby’s offence. Tomas Rosicky came on a minute after the goal, and soon the Arsenal fans were wishing he hadn’t. His first influence of note was to lazily give the ball away on the very edge of his own penalty area; reacting with slumped shoulders and not moving in any way to rectify his error as Barton played in Leon Best, who scored expertly as Rosicky’s utter lack of responsibility had left him playing the big striker onside. Luckily for Rosicky, the linesman had a nightmare too, and called it incorrectly offside. A decent cross then found Best at the back post, and after his header had fell at his own feet via Clichy, the striker made no mistake in stabbing in a goal that did count, and reduced the arrears to just the two. Youngster Nile Ranger forced an excellent save from Szczesny as Newcastle laid siege to the Arsenal goal. Their third came on 83 minutes, when Mike Williamson leapt for a header and crashed over as Rosicky once again left the Gunners fans ruing his introduction; clearly making an attempt to push Williamson as he jumped, though eventual contact was minimal. Joey Barton saw this penalty go in fortunately, but the Toon faithful did not care one iota. They roared their heroes on, and were treated to the pick of the bunch with three minutes to play. Tomas Rosicky completed his abysmal display by giving away a dangerous free-kick that was only cleared to Chekh Tiote on the edge of the box, and the powerful Ivorian brought the house down when he struck a pearler of a left-footed volley into the corner of Szczesny’s net to complete the most unlikely of comebacks. There could have still been a sting in the tail even after this, as first Nolan fired a fraction wide at one end, before Van Persie scored a superb goal which was judged offside by the narrowest of margins.

Manchester United were finally beaten, just as they were about to claim 30 games unbeaten. It was no surprise that they lost to the bottom team in the division, as their only other domestic defeat came to a team who were bottom of the league at the time: West Ham in the Carling Cup. United have rarely been formidable this season, and some would say are fortunate to have made it this far, but it was still something of a surprise that they lost after taking an early lead. Wolves had beaten Mancitti and Chelski at Molineux this season, while United had lost defensive lynchpin Rio Ferdinand in the warm-up, so the omens were not good. These were forgotten however, when Nani was sent down the line and marauded into the box, shadowed by two defenders. With very little to aim for, the Portuguese star shimmied and cut outside George Elokobi, before squeezing a left foot drive neatly inside Wayne Hennessey’s near post. Wolves overturned this lead, typically, from a set-piece. United went to sleep from a short corner, and Matt Jarvis delivered a great cross for George Elokobi to make amends for Nani’s goal and head in. The Red Devils’ defence was again statuesque when Dimitar Berbatov was forced to close down O’Hara, as he forced Van Der Sar to block his near post effort with his legs. The second Wolves goal came just before half-time, when Rooney and Vidic made a pig’s ear out of clearing their lines, and gave away a dangerous free-kick. Nenad Milijas swung it in, and Kevin Doyle stooped to get a flick at the same time as Elokobi, sending it past a helpless Van Der Sar. The second half siege saw Hernandez beat Hennessey in a challenge, but Rooney’s follow-up was blocked, while Nani headed a very good chance over, and Paul Scholes was booked for palming an effort goalward. In the end it was one of United’s strengths: defending set-pieces; that proved to be their undoing here.

Everton came out triumphant in a stonking game at Goodison against the team we all love to love: Blackpool. Ian Holloway; thankfully not having resigned after the Premier League’s farcical decision to fine his side for fielding what they deemed an ‘under-strength’ team, despite it being made up from the pool of 25 players he nominated to the Premier League; is a national treasure, though even he now admits his side is conceding a ridiculous amount of goals that will see them relegated if they continue. Luis Saha is a striker capable of brilliance on his day; though, as observers tend to point out, his ‘day’ comes around all too rarely, usually due to his inordinate frequency of injury. This was definitely one of his days, and he plundered four superb goals to give Everton a clinical edge that could have seen them in the higher echelons of the division had it come sooner in the season. Diniyar Bilayetdinov’s brilliant work provided his poacher’s opener, before the Tangerines equalised, as a corner was flicked against the near post and along the goal-line by Ian Evatt. It was cleared perhaps too late, but Alex Baptiste followed it in to make sure. Everton were aggrieved when denied a second goal. Seamus Coleman was clearly tugged down as he delivered a brilliant cross that Saha guided in. Kevin Friend had already blown his whistle apparently, so the goal was disallowed for a free-kick best described as abysmal from Leighton Baines. Incredibly, this was the end of the first half scoring. The second half was just two minutes old when Jack Rodwell sent Leighton Baines down the left flank, and the full-back’s cross was guided in expertly by Saha. Just after the hour mark, Blackpool fought back again, when Eliot Grandin won a crucial 50-50 on the edge of the box with Johnny Heitinga, and sent new signing James Beattie into the box. Beattie’s low cross was finished at the back post by an ecstatic Jason Puncheon. Everton almost retook the lead again when Fellaini took down a corner and struck a shot that Neal Eardley had to clear off the line, but within three minutes ‘Ollie was cavorting in delight, as Sylvain Distin lost the ball in a terrible area. The resulting counter-attack found DJ Campbell on the edge of the box striking a pummelling shot against the crossbar which Charlie Adam stooped to head into the empty net. Blackpool then contrived to surrender the initiative. Goalkeeper Paul Rachubka lost his head and careered out of his box; losing a challenge with Jack Rodwell, who chipped the ball beautifully towards a gaping net, only to see Ian Evatt race back and make a maginificent clearance just before the ball crossed the line. The manner of Everton’s third goal left Blackpool seething, as Jermaine Beckford had left Charlie Adam receiving treatment after a boot to the face. A man short at a corner, Blackpool allowed Saha to nip in unchecked and nod in for his hat-trick, after somehow a cluster of bodies all missed the ball at the near post. The fourth goal was nothing short of majestic, as the erratic Beckford ran onto a long pass from Leighton Baines and volleyed into the net without breaking his stride. The breathless scoring finally concluded in the 84^th minute, when Blackpool were throwing the kitchen sink at Everton. An unlucky bounce saw the ball cleared, and Fellaini played a cracking through-ball to Luis Saha, who put on the afterburners to leave Adam in the dust before drawing the goalkeeper and stabbing into the corner of the net. Thus a truly incredible game ended; a joy for all who had the privilege to attend.

Wigan Athletic lined up for a Lancashire derby against Blackburn Rovers as the lowest scoring team in all four divisions, yet proved anyone expecting a dull contest thoroughly wrong, despite the pudding of a pitch. Ben Watson had an early free-kick saved, but it was Rovers who took the lead, when Hoilett’s cross was turned in from close range by Jason Roberts. Charles N’Zogbia turned on his finesse when his weaving run saw the ball laid off to Emerson Boyce, and when Robinson parried his effort, James McCarthy arrived to dink into the net from a tight angle. Like the Everton match, half-time saw a 1-1 scoreline, and like that game the second half hit the heights. Victor Moses’ clever flick evaded Christopher Samba and sent Hugo Rodallega scampering behind and around Robinson, before slotting into the empty net. The third Wigan goal was a joy to behold; with James McCarthy and Charles N’Zogbia conspiring to keep ball in the tightest of niches inside the Rovers box. When N’Zogbia dinked a short pass back to McCarthy, the midfielder flicked the ball up before juggling it to his opposite foot and volleying sublimely into the bottom corner. Blackburn pulled a goal back through a familiar source, when a Pedersen corner was powered into the net by Samba, despite Al-Habsi’s protestations. The Omanian goalkeeper for once did not have a good day. But rather than typically concede a lead, Wigan just powered two goals ahead once more, with Watson drilling in the penalty that came after Salgado had clearly tripped Diame a fraction inside the box. Mame Biryam Diouf produced an awful finish late on with a comeback beckoning, but Blackburn did pull one more back, when David Dunn was tripped on the run just inside the box by Diame, though Dunn had flicked the ball almost out for a throw in the process. The victim got up to convert the spot-kick, but Rovers were beaten; a result that briefly lifted the Latics’ heads above water, before Birmingham’s result dropped them once more below the waterline.

How Liverpool fans must have gloated, after the Fernando Torres bandwagon was crudely derailed; at Stamford Bridge too. Despite an attempt at a gentleman’s agreement, Chelsea insisted on getting full value for their gargantuan outlay, by playing a ‘dream team’ attacking trident of Drogba, Anelka and Torres. Unfortunately for Ancelotti, he was outmanoeuvred in tactical terms when Kenny Dalglish played three centre-backs to cope, while allowing Kelly and Johnson to bomb forward and provide width, whilst also limiting Bosingwa and Cashley’s danger. Torres endured a pretty impotent afternoon, blazing his first good opportunity well over, catching an ‘accidental’ forearm smash from former team-mate Daniel Agger, and having Jamie Carragher slide to block his only decent effort at goal before being substituted. Maxi Rodriguez had a pretty embarrassing afternoon too. After giving the ball to Torres for his first chance, Maxi then managed to hit the crossbar with an open goal from all of five yards. Liverpool grabbed a winner in the 68^th minute, when Gerrard burst down the flank to offer a cross which Cech bizarrely allowed to bounce past him at the near post, perhaps mindful of Ivanovic clattering him as he had done minutes earlier in another misunderstanding. The ball was begging to be tucked away, and Raul Meireles arrived to readjust superbly and guide it in. Chelsea just did not possess any width, though were incensed that a late penalty wasn’t awarded, when the strapping Ivanovic crashed to the ground when Glen Johnson seemed to charge into him. So Chelsea ended the day £50million and 3 points poorer, as Liverpool could afford to leave out both their big signings and still win.

Carlos Tevez once again proved his enduring worth to Mancitti by plundering a hat-trick. With £27million Edin Dzeko a substitute, Tevez was under pressure to deliver, and he didn’t disappoint. Alexsander Kolarov crossed for Tevez to volley against the post, before Joe Hart was called into action to push a Chris Brunt free-kick away. Kolarov then continued to exert influence on the game, when he was brought to earth by Stephen Reid inside the West Brom penalty box. Tevez converted the penalty and then scored a sublime second, when he exchanged passes in no space at all with David Silva, before sidestepping and skipping over the challenge of Jonas Olsson and slotting past Myhill. Kolarov once again impressed when he strode forward to thunder a 35 yarder against the crossbar with Myhill’s fingertips stung. Jerome Thomas conceded a horribly unlucky second spot-kick when the ball skipped up onto his prone arm, and Tevez gleefully completed his birthday hat-trick. Incredible news of Roberto Di Matteo’s sacking broke after this game, despite him taking West Brom up and into the higher echelons of the Premier League for a time, and still being well in touch with the teams around them. The Baggies board have clearly followed in the footsteps of Newcastle and Blackburn to truly begin an era where managers are no longer sacked after the tabloids mount a campaign, but are sacked out of the blue, for reasons that seem no more logical than thinking the grass is always greener. Even if West Brom do go down, Di Matteo has proved astute enough to bring them back up, and surely it will cost them double to be relegated now, with Di Matteo’s pay-off added to it.

A thrilling game at the Britannia, but only in terms of the scoreline and the atmosphere, because Stoke’s football has gone back to the pre-Neanderthal Wimbledon heyday kick and rush. To describe just how appalling (and illegal) the first two goals particularly were could not be accomplished with mere words. Sunderland had taken the lead very early, when Kieran Richardson found the roof of the net after Asamoah Gyan had miskicked in the box. Stoke’s first equaliser came courtesy of the old ‘up ‘n’ under’. Delap launched a throw deep into the box, and the ball was flicked high into the air. With Gordon weak, Huth challenged and the ball squirmed loose for Carew to stab in practically on the goal-line. Replays showed Carew to be standing a yard offside when the ball was played, but to be fair to the linesman it was near impossible to spot with the naked eye. Sunderland regained the lead in the second half when new loan signing Sulley Muntari played a fantastic ball to Asamoah Gyan; goal-side of Robert Huth. As he reached the box Huth caught up, but the Ghanaian outmuscled the German defender before cutting outside him and drilling a low shot into the net past goalkeeper and defender. A brilliant goal which was to be sadly overshadowed. Craig Gordon had later spilled a corner and been bailed out, but there was no bailing out when he was beaten to the punch; fairly literally, by John Carew. The galling fact that the second equalising goal should have been ruled out for three different offences will stick in Steve Bruce’s craw long after this game. As another excellent Pennant delivery swung in towards Gordon, a marginally offside John Carew leapt in front of him; bundling the ball goalward with his arm, which was then touched by the also-offside Robert Huth before it eventually crossed the Sunderland goal-line. If there was such a thing as the ‘worst goal you’ll ever see’, this would be right up there. Kids, please don’t try this at home. With their magnificent fans roaring them on, it was inevitable that Stoke would get the winner in injury time, when Kieran Richardson stupidly conceded a free-kick 35 yards out. Pennant again earned his wages with a stupendous inswinger that Titus Bramble watched like he was pointing at a plane, before watching Robert Huth meet it with a timely lunge to send the Britannia into raptures.

Aston Villa and Fulham played out an entertaining draw down at Villa Park which saw Andrew Johnson looking like he has regained his old form. Darren Bent had an early effort ruled out for offside, but Villa took the lead as familiar Fulham own goal scorer John Pantsil added to his impressive collection with a corkscrew header that Richard Dunne couldn’t have managed even in his younger days. Johnson notched his goal in the second half, as he lunged in bravely with his head to guide in the rebound, after new boy Steve Sidwell’s thunderous drive was parried. Youngster Kyle Walker then had a moment to remember, when he beat Sidwell to the ball on halfway and advanced, before striking the crispest of low drives into the bottom corner from some 35 yards. Fulham regained parity through a towering header from Clint Dempsey at a corner; beating his compatriot Friedel to the ball brilliantly, though Friedel denied Johnson a winner late on. A decent point for both sides.

‘Arry was smiling eventually, as classy Croat Nico Krancjar staked his claim for more regular football with a magnificent last minute winner at

White Hart Lane

. Spurs’ opener came early, as a free-kick produced a melee culminating in Corluka’s attempt to find a partially unguarded net thwarted by the arm of Kevin Davies. Rafael Van Der Vaart converted the spot-kick brilliantly. The game became more interesting when Aaron Lennon jinked and weaved inside the box before being scythed down for a second penalty. Bolton were livid, and thought they were two behind when Van Der Vaart tucked the second kick into the same corner. Mark Clattenburg, however, deemed it illegal, citing encroachment from Defoe particularly. Unfortunately for Van Der Vaart, he couldn’t find the same corner thrice, and his retaken spot-kick went wide; much to Redknapp’s consternation. The Trotters began to display some ambition of their own when a superb Elmander header thudded against the Spurs’ crossbar, while Defoe scored a goal ruled offside. On 55 minutes Daniel Sturridge proved he is well worth a loan spell, when he fired a Mark Davies pass beyond a pretty poor Gomes. Bolton felt cheated when Gary Cahill was sandwiched and went down in the box, only to be booked for ‘simulation’. Jermaine Jenas later struck the post with a free-kick, and in the same passage of play Stephen Pienaar wriggled through and was denied by a sterling Jaaskelainen save. But just when Bolton thought they had held on, substitute Krancjar jinked and cut outside a challenge on the edge of the box before leathering the ball into the roof of the net with his left foot to lift the roof of

White Hart Lane

.

An absolutely dire spectacle at Upton Park, where West Ham succumbed to a typical Nikola Zigic header from a set-piece. The only other noteworthy mention goes to Demba Ba, who cracked the outside of the post late on with a ferocious effort. In between these moments, fans were treated to a theatre of tedium, with mundane passages of play leading to mediocre finishes. Birmingham are far and away the dullest side in the Premier League, and they look as if they will be boring us all the way to survival.

The urge to splurge

After a transfer window deadline day that left most of us agog at the sums of money and calibre of players changing hands, the Premier League resumed, and as if to prove that last-minute shopping can yield the best bargains, three debutants notched important goals that earned points for their new teams.

Manchester United started the game against Aston Villa with the news of Gary Neville’s immediate retirement from playing. Neville has been a United stalwart, loyal to the end and Mr Reliable until he passed 30 and injuries eventually ruined his body. In an illustrious career, Red Nev became England’s most capped right-back, won everything in the domestic game and appeared over 600 times for the Red Devils. This season he has been found badly wanting, and, but for generous refereeing could have been sent off twice. He retires with his dignity intact, and a glittering trophy cabinet to look back on, no doubt during his impending stint on Sky Sports. United started the game with Dimitar Berbatov in scintillating form, but still waiting on Wayne Rooney to hit the goal trail from open play. That wait was ended on 49 seconds, when another impending retiree; Edwin Van Der Sar, launched a kick over the statuesque Richard Dunne for Rooney to kill exquisitely, before crashing into the roof of Brad Friedel’s net. United felt aggrieved later, when Dunne once again was caught out, and clattered into Nani, though Chris Foy saw nothing wrong with the clumsy challenge. United increased their lead when Nani won a tussle with Ciaran Clark on the right wing, before delivering an exceptional cross that Rooney didn’t have to break his stride to stroke into the net. Villa pulled a goal back when Stewart Downing took advantage of a mix-up between three United players to cross with his weaker right foot. Darren Bent arrived in the nick of time to slot it in with his weaker left foot, but Villa’s hopes of a comeback were shattered five minutes later, when the superb Rooney held up the ball in a packed area, before laying back to Nemanja Vidic, who belted the ball in like a seasoned striker. There was still time for Brad Friedel to make great saves from Nani and Rooney, but this was always United’s game.

A rip-roaring game at the Stadium of Light saw a Chelsea team buoyed by the exorbitant signings of David Luiz and Fernando Torres come back strongly to finish off the spirited Mackems. Roman Abramovich clearly decided at the last minute to abandon his policy of preparing for FIFA’s financial fair play legislation for another year, while Chelsea’s dream of one day breaking even under their own steam seems as distant as ever. Still, their fans will be ecstatic that they have left even Manchester City in the shade with the scale of their January outlay. Fernando heard the drums, and declared he had joined the ‘big team’ he had dreamed of playing for; a quote that will be like a hot knife twisting in the craws of Liverpool fans. But Torres was not deployed in this game, which was set alight early on by right-footed left-back Phil Bardsley running at the Chelsea backline, inside the ever-clueless Jon Obi Mikel; who allowed him onto his stronger foot, from which he unleashed a low strike, clean as a whistle into the bottom corner of Cech’s net. On the fifteen minute mark Chelsea were level, as Egyptian Ahmed Elmohamedy, who may have had his mind on other subjects, climbed all over Cashley Cole, who crashed over in his own persecuted manner. Frank Lampard crashed the penalty home, soon followed by a second from Kalou which owed everything to a reckless dash out of his area by Craig Gordon, who made the Ivorian’s finish simple. Just three minutes later Sunderland drew level though, when Kieran Richardson cunningly whipped his free-kick under the jumping wall to fool Petr Cech. Chelsea were unlucky not to go into the break ahead, when a persistent Michael Essien produced a low cross which Branislav Ivanovic nearly split the crossbar with. The hour mark saw Chelsea finally go ahead, after John Terry had come forward to win a corner, then followed in a Lampard parried effort to volley into the ground and past Gordon. Still the game was open, and Chelsea still flooded forward. Nicolas Anelka advanced menacingly to the edge of the box and laid the ball off to the waiting Ramires, only for Kalou to usher him out of the way as he crashed the ball against both posts and away. The game was finally sealed in the last minute, when Florent Malouda kept the ball in on the touchline, before sending a short pass across goal, which Anelka stabbed in with the outside of his boot.

Arsenal kept up their title drive with a resilient comeback win against a plucky Everton, though every week Francesc Fabregas seems intent on carving a reputation as an arrogant enfant terrίble; this time apparently accusing the officials of being bought in the tunnel; normally a red card offence for ‘lesser’ players. The reason for rage was Everton’s opening goal in the 24^th minute, when the ball from Seamus Coleman was clearly delayed too long, leaving Luis Saha a good two yards offside. The flag should have gone up immediately, but stayed down until Laurent Koscielny made a last-ditch attempt at a clearance and inadvertently flicked the ball on for Saha to control and finish, thus rendering it not offside. Arsenal’s argument of course was that the original pass was obviously intended, and heading for, Saha, and the touch from Koscielny should have been academic. After all the complaints fell on deaf ears, Arsenal began to mount a siege, but it wasn’t until Andrei Arshavin’s second half introduction that they got back into the game. Jack Rodwell failed to cut out Cesc Fabregas’ delightful lobbed pass, and Arshavin volleyed in coolly for the equaliser. Five minutes later, Leon Osman was forced to cynically trip Theo Walcott in full flight. The resulting free-kick produced one of the saves of the season from Howard; somehow using both hands to just about parry the ball over the bar. Unfortunately for Howard, the corner that resulted found an unmarked Koscielny who powered his header down and in to send the Gunners’ faithful into raptures.

Mancitti blew their big chance to keep pace with the leaders, when they threw away a victory against struggling Birmingham City. In a huge tactical shock, both notoriously cautious managers played two up front, though when you spend £27 million on a striker, you can’t really justify not playing him, so Mancini’s ploy was nothing if not logical. Mancitti took the lead in just the third minute, when an interchange between Carlos Tevez and David Silva led to a deflected shot from Tevez finding the net. David Bentley was delivering a string of inviting crosses, but it was his low free-kick which yielded an equaliser, when Nikola Zigic ran across Hart’s path and got the faintest of flicks to it to send it in for 1-1. A nasty collision of heads led to Micah Richards being stretchered off; for once Nigel De Jong crocked one of his own; before City retook the lead, after Craig Gardner had fallen over and taken Edin Dzeko with him on the edge of the box. Aleksander Kolarov stepped up to bend the set-piece in superbly. Mancitti then did what they tend to do, which is try to stifle the game and see it out, but Patrick Vieira’s clumsy swipe took out Kevin Phillips, and Craig Gardner rescued a point for Brum with a well-dispatched penalty. In the dying embers of injury time, City had another dangerous free-kick, but this time Kolarov could only shoot just wide of Foster’s post.

An end-to-end game between two strugglers ended in an inevitable draw between West Brom and Wigan. The Baggies might have expected more when a lovely through-ball from Jerome Thomas sent Peter Odemwingie through to stab past the advancing Al-Habsi with less than five minutes on the clock, but a couple of exchanges between Youssouf Mulumbu and Charles N’Zogbia led to the arrears eradicated. First, Mulumbu scythed the French winger down on the edge of the box, and just to top it off then got a significant touch to N’Zogbia’s free-kick to send it past his own goalkeeper. Before half-time, Wigan; the lowest scorers in the Football League; took the lead, when Ben Watson whipped his own free-kick from the opposite side in, and claimed a goal as nobody managed to get a touch. The Baggies mounted a siege to retrieve the game, and Somen Tchoyi found Marc-Antoine Fortune, who cracked a shot against the foot of the post. Some good work from Odemwingie led to Chris Brunt wrapping his left foot around the ball and hitting the other post. Finally, as Wigan tend to do all too often, they surrendered their lead. Jerome Thomas weaved a route into the box and stood the ball up beautifully for Fortune to beat Caldwell to and nod down and in. You could see the life sap from Wigan on conceding the equaliser, but it could have been much worse had Ali Al-Habsi not added to his sizeable collection of ‘save of the season’ contenders. A corner was powered at goal by the head of Jonas Olsson from no more than eight yards, but the Omanian goalkeeper displayed outrageous reflexes once again to throw out a palm and parry it away.

The new-look Liverpool began life post-Torres in impressive form. Kenny Dalglish’s new animal saw off Stoke convincingly, moving up to seventh in the process. These two clubs had both seen a sea-change in the transfer window; Liverpool had lost a world class striker but gained two very good strikers, while losing out on an excellent playmaker. Stoke decided who needs flair when you’ve got big men, and dispatched both players with genuine craft in their game; Tuncay Sanli and Eidur Gudjohnsen; proving that Tony Pulis was never really interested in progressing their one-dimensional ‘death from above’ style. Dalglish lined up with an interesting 3-4-2-1 formation to combat Stoke’s approach, and it paid dividends. The game began with Liverpool predictably on the front foot with their fans behind them, and it took an unbelievable save from Asmir Begovic to keep the scores level. Martin Kelly dinked in a great cross which Glenn Johnson met with a powerful point-blank header, yet the Stoke stopper somehow shot a strong arm up in an instant to parry it away as he fell into the net. Dirk Kuyt had come close twice before Steven Gerrard drilled a laid-off free-kick into a packed penalty area minutes into the second half. It found Sotirios Kyrgiakos, who rather fortuitously miscontrolled to allow Raul Meireles to come onto it and slot past Begovic. Stoke’s token response was John Carew to fire a shot narrowly wide, but the game was over when Dirk Kuyt sent a ball through to Luis Suarez on the shoulder of the last man. After outpacing his marker, Suarez took a touch around the prone Begovic and tapped towards goal. Andy Wilkinson caught up with the goalbound effort, but inexplicably slid his attempted clearance onto the post and in. Stoke lost even the chance of a consolation effort, when Reina instinctively kept out a close-range effort from Jonathan Walters at the death.

West Ham put the crushing disappointment of Carling Cup semi-final elimination behind them as they dispatched a Blackpool side who suddenly find themselves on a run of defeats. As usual with Blackpool, it was a goal-laden affair. An early Frederic Piquionne low cross was horribly miskicked by a Blackpool defender and fell to Victor Obinna at the back post. Fortunately for the Tangerines, the striker scuffed his effort, giving Richard Kingson enough time to plunge low and keep it out. Craig Catchart then had Kingson to thank for preventing him scoring an own goal, but he was rather less forgiving when Obinna turned him inside out and the Ghanaian goalkeeper pulled a ‘Robert Green’; crouching to collect the low shot, only to see it spoon off his hands and into the net. The lead was doubled when Kingson did rather better, making a superb double save from Obinna this time, only to see debutant Robbie Keane slice a volley into the net from close range to start his West Ham career in the perfect manner. Yet three minutes before half-time, Charlie Adam proved his enduring worth when he swung in a low corner that Frederic Piquionne idiotically air-kicked at his front-post, and Robert Green somehow let slip under his body for 2-1. The Tangerines should have gone in at half-time eager to complete their comeback, but within a minute they were once again staring into the abyss. Victor Obinna was given time and space to advance, before unleashing a left-foot missile into Kingson’s top corner to finish the game. The second half saw Neil Eardley crack the angle with a free-kick, while Green had to be at his best to deny Marlon Harewood in the closing stages.

Mick McCarthy looked ready to kill himself after Ronald Zubar threw Wolves’ hard-earned point away in injury time. Wayne Hennessey was particularly ready to deck his colleague, after he had done brilliantly to deny Elmander, Lee and an own goal from Christophe Berra. Kevin Doyle had seen one of his efforts deflect agonisingly onto the post and out, and the game seemed to be heading for a deserved draw. Suddenly Zubar’s moment of braindead stupidity came, when first he sold a team-mate short with a throw inside that he should have sent up the line. He then compounded this by winning the loose ball back and deciding to roll a ridiculous backpass across his own goal, which Bolton new boy Daniel Sturridge raced onto and tucked away. It was such an incredible act of sporting suicide that you almost expected an official investigation to be launched into suspicious betting patterns. If Zubar wasn’t so big you could have guaranteed McCarthy throttling him in the changing rooms.

Tottenham may have missed out on Charlie Adam, but most observers would suggest they need a striker rather more than yet another playmaker. This game was settled by an under-performing striker; with Peter Crouch nodding in a deep cross from Rafael Van Der Vaart, before clearing off his own line at the other end. Blackburn have made great strides in expanding their game under Steve Kean, though they still utilise Paul Robinson’s mule kicks. Mame Biryam Diouf and Morten Gamst Pedersen came close for Rovers, and with the last attack of the game Jermaine Jenas somehow deflected Jason Roberts’ powerful downward header just over his own crossbar. Still, Rovers can’t be too disappointed with their current run, much better than many expected under a completely untested manager. Harry meanwhile will be quietly confident of reclaiming that Champions League slot for next season.

With some last minute bargain-hunting, Mark Hughes seems to have compiled an impressive Fulham squad. Gael Kakuta made a decent impression on his debut, while Newcastle fans will be a lot more anxious at their chances of survival post-Carroll. When your most recognised striker is Shola Ameobi, you know you’re in trouble. The Toon fans laid into old favourite Damien ‘Duffer’, who lived up to his dumb nickname last season when he scored the own goal that sent Newcastle down, and this time they had more reason to hate him, as he relished scoring the goal that separated the sides. New signing Steve Sidwell’s day nearly became a nightmare when he came within a whisker of an own goal, but when Jose Enrique allowed Danny Murphy’s long ball to bounce, Duff seized on the chance to win the match.

Until next time…

Gray and Keys are on their knees

A cracking weekend of Premiership action saw the top two look formidably convincing in their pursuit of the top prize, while the bottom three remains the three ‘W’s. Avram Grant was still in charge at the Boleyn, after Gold, Brady and O’Sullivan’s shameless coveting of Martin O’Neill ended with their crush revealing he was out of their league.

Manchester United found top gear for only the third time this season in destroying a woeful Birmingham 5-0 at Old Trafford, with Ryan Giggs as imperious as he has been for the last two decades; gliding about the pitch with all the effortlessness and vision he has accrued from knowing the Premier League inside out and keeping himself in formidable shape. Birmingham’s fragile defensive unity has been shattered with the long-term injury sustained by Scott Dann, and United essentially killed this game within the first two minutes, with John O’Shea flicking Giggs’ deadly corner goalwards, where Dimitar Berbatov was lurking to apply the finishing touch on the line. Ben Foster proved once again he is appalling with his feet minutes later, when he was pressured into a terrible kick which was returned for Rooney to flick on for Berbatov once more, but Foster redeemed himself; blocking the Bulgarian’s effort with his legs. On the half-hour, Rooney advanced and fed Berbatov on his outside, prompting the striker to cut outside his man and fire between the challenges of Johnson and Ridgewell and inside Foster’s near post for 2-0. Berbatov and Giggs then went mightily close as there seemed to be no end to the one-way traffic, and on the stroke of half-time came a goal of true magnificence. Dimitar Berbatov proved he could do no wrong, as he turned a loss of footing into a lovely tackle, before receiving a nice backheel from Rooney and sending the striker away with his return ball. Rooney bore down on goal and sent in a low teaser, which Ryan Giggs launched into the roof of the net at the back post. Wayne Rooney was looking like his old classy self, but still in front of goal he was a lame duck: in the second half Nani decided to get in on the act, and his great work culminated in a delicious cross that somehow Rooney headed wide from three yards when it looked easier to score. Rooney had a hand in the fourth goal too, when he brought down an uncompromising belt upfield from Edwin Van Der Sar; killing it with the greatest of ease before nutmegging Roger Johnson to find Ryan Giggs, whose low cross was stabbed in off the crossbar by the predatory Berbatov, who scored his third hat-trick of the season in the process. At the other end Birmingham at last saw a sight of goal, when awful control from Nemanja Vidic let in Matt Derbyshire, whose close-range cross-shot saw Van Der Sar get an arm to it, while at the back post Keith Fahey had over-ran the ball and couldn’t turn it into the open net from two yards out. The rout was completed in the 75^th minute, when Nani, clearly frustrated, finally seized the chance to cut inside onto his left foot and whip a typical drive into the corner of Foster’s net from the edge of the box.

Arsenal were also in the mood for a mauling at home to Wigan. The notoriously unpredictable Latics can turn it on against the big boys, but at the Emirates they folded like an origami crane. The tempo was set early on, when star man Samir Nasri forced a decent save from Ali Al-Habsi. The Omanian goalkeeper is the major reason why Wigan don’t get beaten by sixes and sevens anymore, and he made an unbelievable intervention not long after the Nasri stop. Gael Clichy sent a sweet crossfield ball over to Theo Walcott, whose devious low cross was pummelled towards goal by Robin Van Persie from point blank range, but Al-Habsi threw a strong glove up in an instant to pull off one of the saves of the season. Stephen Caldwell had been drafted in as defensive cover for Wigan, meaning him and his brother Gary were playing together for the first time. Another low cross from Walcott found Cesc Fabregas in the middle this time, but Caldwell S. lunged to make a magnificent block. Wigan’s rearguard was horrendously overworked, and it was no surprise when the Arsenal siege yielded the opening goal on 21 minutes. Alexandre Song played a gorgeous slide-rule pass between three defenders to find Robin Van Persie springing a poor offside trap and smashing the ball past Al-Habsi. Another intricate Arsenal move saw a deep Baccary Sagna cross find Samir Nasri, who laid off to Fabregas for a piledriver which Al-Habsi brilliantly turned aside, before Sagna retrieved the loose ball and again found Fabregas, whose quick feet saw him nutmeg Stephen Caldwell, before Maynor Figueroa finally got in a decent challenge to conceded a corner. Van Persie sent Walcott away, and the England winger laid across to Cesc Fabregas, whose path was blocked by a defender, but Walcott scampered onto the rebound, only for Stephen Caldwell to again make a stupendous block to prevent the goal. Samir Nasri and then Cesc Fabregas were again denied by the athleticism of Ali Al-Habsi to leave Wigan going into the second half with just a goal’s deficit. With very little in return, Wigan inevitably conceded a second just shy of the hour mark. A long cross from Fabregas found Robin Van Persie goal-side of Gary Caldwell, and the razor-sharp Dutchman volleyed in superbly for his, and Arsenal’s second goal. Caldwell G.’s day got worse when Nasri slid in Fabregas, and the Scottish defender seemd to fall on top of the Spaniard; conceding both a penalty and a red card. Roberto Martinez was apparently not happy at Fabregas’ perceived gamesmanship. With the Gunners fans ready to acclaim their hat-trick hero, Van Persie conspired to leather his penalty into the stratosphere, before falling to the ground clutching his head in disbelief. The Dutchman spent much of the rest of the game on a one-man mission to complete his hat-trick; first cutting outside the remaining Caldwell and striking the post. He finally saw his dream come true when Fabregas took out four defenders with a through-ball to Walcott, who merely shielded the remaining defender as Van Persie galloped onto it and buried it inside Al-Habsi’s near post. With the Dutchman on this form, Arsenal are genuine contenders. Van Persie offers the kind of direct and clinical attacking that Arsenal’s midfield just don’t offer enough, and with Walcott providing such service this Gunners team could finally break their trophy duck very soon.

The match that could have ended the careers of Andy Gray and ‘Mr Sky Sports’ Richard Keys. After earning an unlikely victory at Anfield which contributed heavily to the demise of Roy Hodgson, Mick McCarthy lined his hungry Wolves up against Kenny Dalglish’s side at Molineux, but saw only the romance of a returning hero, as the Wanderers were laid to rest in brutal fashion. The away fans must have been thrilled to see the Liverpool midfield as fluid as its looked in a decade, with Rodriguez, Poulsen, Lucas, Kuyt and Meireles interchanging and flooding the box at will. Fernando Torres seemed to relish the guarantee of support, and Raul Meireles produced a man-of-the-match display. Torres came close after a Meireles through-ball, and the favour was returned later, only for the Portuguese to fire just wide. The female referee’s assistant was under heavy fire from Wolves fans (and messrs Keys and Gray) in the 36^th minute, when Christian Poulsen put Meireles into yards of space, but replays showed the decision to be an excellent one. Meireles bore down on goal, but elected at the last minute to square to Torres, who slid into the empty net gratefully. Liverpool’s academy seems to be very top-heavy with full-backs, having produced Jon Otsemobor, Stephen Wright, Stephen Warnock and Jamie Carragher in recent years, though Carragher has of course evolved into a centre-back. The latest off the conveyor belt is Martin Kelly, and he looks very competent. Although it initially looked a strange decision, Dalglish’s choice of Kelly at right-back and Glen Johnson at left-back seems to be paying dividends, as Paul Konchesky was never good enough. Raul Meireles sealed the game with a superb sliced volley into the top corner, after a long ball had been nodded out to him by Christophe Berra. The Molineux pitch was far from lush, but Liverpool were moving about it with ease. The facially-challenged Jon Jo Shelvey came on and missed a glorious opportunity from another great Meireles ball, but in stoppage time some gloss was added to an already comfortable scoreline, when Glenn Johnson fed Dirk Kuyt, and a tackle executed on the Dutchman only let the ball squirm across to the predatory Torres, who belted it in from close range for 3-0.

Frederic Piquionne pulled a bit of a boner, as his late red card cost West Ham a man in their pursuit of defending a victory. Lining up in their horrible dirty white away kit, and under a manager many thought would be long gone by now, the Hammers took the lead after Mark Noble released Luis Boa Morte down the left flank, and the Portuguese winger appeared to cut back too far, but Jonathan Spector arrived in the nick of time to cash in. Boa Morte was later aggrieved to be denied his own goal by a narrow offside call, which was compounded when Diniyar Bilayetdinov crisply volleyed in a Fellaini knock-down; just reward for the Toffees’ pressure. Everton fans were cursing minutes later when it looked as if they had turned the game around, but after Leon Osman had deftly found Luis Saha; who spun on a sixpence and flashed in a shot that Green could only parry; Seamus Coleman contrived to volley over an open net. The Irons used this let-off to stage a claim for victory, when a hanging Wanye Bridge cross was gloriously headed into the top corner by Frederic Piquionne, for what looked like a remarkable winner. Sadly, the most misguided rule of the game ruined his moment, as he charged into the passionate throng of away supporters to earn a second yellow card. West Ham were too short of bodies to hold on for even five minutes, and after a Saha long-ranger had been tipped wide by Rob Green, an Osman dink saw Jack Rodwell flick on for Marouane Fellaini to chest down and spin to drive low into the net, with Julien Faubert falling over comically in his desperate attempts to prevent him from doing so. Avram was a sad man once again.

Apparently £24million can buy more than £27 million. Darren Bent ignored the torrent of criticism at his baffling move to Aston Villa to prove that goalscorers are certainly worth their weight in gold; earning a priceless victory to ease Villa’s relegation concerns while plunging City’s title credentials into fresh doubt. The nagging doubt that Mancitti do not know how to play when they go a goal down will not go away, and even bumper new signing Edin Dzeko could not make an impact; that is, aside from his howler of a miss late on. Shay Given continues to wait his career out on the City bench, while John Carew has moved on loan to Stoke to avoid Gerard Houllier. Carlos Tevez produced an embarrassing air-kick from a Kolarov corner, and the cock-ups continued for Mancitti, as they gave away possession yards from their penalty box, which let in Ashley Young for a great effort that Joe Hart could only parry to Darren Bent, plundering his debut goal. City spent much of the rest of the game camped in Villa’s half, their closest sight coming when Ciaran Clark’s last-ditch tackle deflected a goalbound De Jong shot onto the post, before Dzeko somehow nodded a sumptuous cross wide at the back post from six yards. When Kolarov’s sidefooted effort took two deflections to leave Friedel grounded but went wide, City’s day was encapsulated. Villa rode their luck but came away with a priceless victory, or rather a very pricey victory, consigning City to a costly defeat.

Tottenham snatched a last-minute draw from a game they looked to have surrendered, with Aaron Lennon being criminally allowed to cut inside on his favoured right foot before thumping low inside Harper’s near post. Newcastle came close early on, when a deep Jose Enrique cross seemed to miss everyone, only for Leon Best to slide in and hit the crossbar from an unfeasible angle. Spurs new boy Stephen Pienaar passed to Rafael Van Der Vaart; pulling off a devious flick to set away Defoe, who was foiled by the onrushing Harper. Just before the hour mark, Newcastle took the lead deservedly, when Danny Guthrie fired across the box to Fabio Coloccini, who chested the ball past Alan Hutton and drilled past almost namesake Cudicini. Spurs went close from Lennon in reply, while Newcastle saw Lovenkrands denied. Aaron Lennon was Tottenham’s constant threat in unfamiliar territory on the left flank, and his probing found Luka Modric, who battered the crossbar under intense pressure. Nile Ranger had come on and nearly sewed the game up when he beat Dawson and the goalkeeper, but Cudicini got enough on it to deflect it along the goal-line and away. Just as Newcastle started to believe the win was theirs, some dreadful defending allowed Lennon in on his favoured foot, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Chelski brushed aside a feeble Bolton Wanderers side without ever getting out of first gear. Despite missing Frank Lampard and having Jon Obi Mikel in midfield, Chelsea strolled it from beginning to end. The deadlock was broken after Gretar Steinsson had faffed about before losing possession on his right flank. The ball broke for Didier Drogba, who cantered forward and whinnied before unleashing a howitzer that sizzled past Jussi Jaaskelainen before he could even smell it. Petr Cech did make a superb fingertip save from a Matt Taylor header, but this was a rare foray. Any thoughts that the Trotters would make a fight of it in front of their own fans on a day when most were paying respects to fallen Bolton icon Nat Lofthouse were dispelled before half-time, when a slung-in cross saw the Bolton defence go nappy-byes. The ball found Malouda in yards of space at the back post, and he had taken control, shifted the ball to his favoured foot and shaped to shoot before Gary Cahill reluctantly decided he should probably challenge. As it was, the England wannabe’s lazy back-turning block saw the ball rebound back to Malouda, who drilled the return inside the near post, past a shame-faced Jaaskelainen. The second half saw more of the same, and Nicolas Anelka profited after numerous Bolton defenders fell over or miscued from a cross, by guiding the ball low at the centre of goal. Jaaskelainen got a full hand to his effort but only managed to spoon it into his own net. The Bolton goalkeeper continued his liquid gloves show for the fourth, which, again following some comic cuts defending, fell to Ramires, who steered it goalward, watching the Bolton goalkeeper again get a firm hand to the shot but allow it to crash in off the post. To be fair to the Finnish stopper, he then began to pull off a few decent saves to keep the score respectable, though it was certainly a case of bolting the stable door after the Drogba had (thunder)bolted.

Sunderland stuck two fingers up to Darren Bent, with a convincing victory over buccaneering Blackpool; gaining revenge for their earlier shock home defeat to the Tangerines. The early signs were not good though, as Craig Gordon’s dithering saw Gary Taylor-Fletcher close him down as he cleared, with the clearance ricocheting off the striker and towards goal, but Gordon instinctively threw up a hand to deflect it wide. Blackpool were themselves missing their own top scorer in DJ Campbell. Just 15 minutes had passed when Asamoah Gyan seized possession from a Sunderland headed clearance, and advanced before sliding in Kieran Richardson beautifully. The England man finished well, though Blackpool fans were a tad aggrieved that they had been temporarily forced down to ten men by the same man kicking Neal Eardley in the face. The Blackpool man was out of the action receiving treatment to stem the bleeding when his assailant scored. Charlie Adam displayed why Liverpool will have to raise their derisory offer for him when he began to pull the strings; first sending Sheffield Wednesday reject Luke Varney through, who was foiled by Gordon spreading himself at his feet. Adam then weaved a path through before unleashing the fury; bringing a great save out of compatriot Gordon. Of all the things Blackpool didn’t need, it was a second Sunderland goal before the break, but that’s exactly what happened on 35 minutes. Steed Malbranque showed desire to be first to a loose ball and keep it on, right on the left touchline. He advanced and slid a cute pass around the last man, which Kieran Richardson again seized on and buried rapidly, low inside Kingson’s near post. Charlie Adam tested Gordon to the limit with a ferocious free-kick, while Richard Kingson injured himself saving bravely at the feet of Bolo Zenden, being replaced by former Manchester United youngster Paul Rachubka. Young Matt Phillips was impressing once again with his confidence and step-overs, and his jinking run found substitute Marlon Harewood, who spun and fired just wide. Jordan Henderson almost made the game safe with a delicate lob, but Blackpool pulled a goal back with five minutes to go, when David Vaughan and Gary Taylor-Fletcher exchanged passes, with Vaughan going down dubiously as Nedim Onuoha appeared to pull out of a challenge. Charlie Adam slotted in the penalty to ensure Blackpool’s incredible home scoring record continued. Last season they only failed to score in one home game, and this season they are nine for nine. Truly the neutral’s team of choice.

Fulham continued their resurgence as they begin to get players back from injury, and before the game Mark Hughes and Tony Pulis made a big display of actually shaking hands. With the childish antics forgotten, the woodwork was well struck; Damien Duff thumping the crossbar from long range. A typical Stoke long ball was poorly cleared and fell to Kenwyne Jones, who battered the post. On 33 minutes Andy Johnson skated around the sluggish Ryan Shawcross, who could only watch in horror as the England man’s low cross was converted under heavy pressure by Clint Dempsey. There was to be no Shawcross Redemption in the second half, as the youngster molested Dempsey to the ground to give away a penalty and a red card. He mercifully left the pitch without tears. Dempsey converted the penalty expertly, and that was that. Andy Johnson looked as if his sharpness is returning, as he forced a late great save from Asmir Begovic, while Damien Duff forced a vital clearance which could so easily have been an own goal by Rory Delap. An interesting footnote was John Carew’s introduction as a sub, because as we know, Pulis buys flair (Gudjohnsen, Tuncay) and doesn’t play them, but big men will always have a place in the Potters’ line-up.

Blackburn continued their impressive run under rookie boss Steve Kean, with a  convincing victory over a lacklustre West Bromwich Albion; to move up to seventh. It could have been all so different had Paul Robinson not been in such excellent form. He saved well from Peter Odemwingie after Morten Gamst Pedersen had given the ball away in a ridiculous area, while opposite number Boaz Myhill saved brilliantly after seeing an Olsson strike very late. Roque Santa Cruz received a pass to knock the ball down to Christopher Samba, who fired a goalpost width wide. Jerome Thomas was leaving Michel Salgado for dead time and again, and his shot was deflected into the side netting by Samba. Cue comic genius just before half-time, as Gabriel Tamas nodded a Dunn cross magnificently into his own top corner under pressure from Kalinic. Youngster Junior Hoilett sealed the game a minute after half-time; receiving a chest down from Kalinic before crashing it into the roof of Myhill’s net. Mark Clattenburg then ruined the Baggies’ hopes, after seeing Odemwingie’s leg being swept away clearly a yard inside the box, but the referee insisted it was a yard outside, and the free-kick was wasted. Paul Robinson had an inspired day, while Blackburn could have grabbed a third late on, but after Olsson had twisted and turned and forced a parry from Myhill, the awkward bounce meant Jason Roberts could not convert the rebound. A curious footnote is that the game saw a new record of 22 different nationalities represented in the same match at one time. Cosmopolitan indeed.

Is he sacked yet?

Avram Grant looked like a dead Dangermouse villain walking at the Boleyn, while Kenny Dalglish looked choked up and eventually very relieved on his return to Anfield. The Manchester clubs jostled for top spot, while Wigan once again nudged out of the relegation zone, soon to be back there from their perpetual habit of turning wins into draws.

Manchester United clung on to their unbeaten run by their fingertips at White Hart Lane, with Rafael Van Der Vaart and Peter Crouch inches away from breaking a terminal deadlock. Rafael Da Silva earned a very harsh red card, but earned himself no new fans with a show of histrionics at the referee which will interest the FA no doubt. Wayne Rooney also went close twice, but the red half of Machester, grateful for a magnificent defensive display from Nemanja Vidic, which strayed into the illegal with an unspotted shirt tug on Van Der Vaart, were just glad to get out with their unbeaten run, and top spot, intact.

 

A barnstorming match at Eastlands saw Mancitti briefly usurp neighbours United, though a thrashing soon turned into a very narrow victory through Wolves’ gallant fightback. Wolves took the game to City early on; a risky tactic, but City suddenly looked like a very large dog with a little Terrier snapping at them: bemused. The opening goal came on a dozen minutes and was well deserved. The ball was delivered into the City box, and Kolo Toure earned his massive wages with the most casual of attempted clearances that struck the unsuspecting Vincent Kompany and rebounded to Nenad Milijas. Joe Hart made a magnificent instinctive save, but Milijas was persistent in forcing the ball over the line. Wolves continued to press, and City had Alexsander Kolarov to thank for throwing himself brilliantly in front of Matt Jarvis, to block his goal-bound effort after some incredible trickery and industry from the Stephen with an ‘H’ and Steven with a ‘V’ on the left flank had carved the opening; Hunt and Fletcher working from being tackled right on the touchline, but strength, skill and a backheeled one-two later, and they had created what would have been one of the goals of the season, but for the heroics of Kolarov. Wolves fans must have been concerned that this dominant period hadn’t been capitalised on fully, and they were right. Mancitti started to regain the initiative, with Tevez sending a range-finder whistling narrowly over, before expensive new boy Edin Dzeko had a shot well blocked. It took until five minutes shy of the break for City to level affairs. Kolo made those wages slightly easier to bear when he met a deep corner at the back post, and forced the ball over the line, despite a covering defender.

In the second half City commenced something of an onslaught. After a long-range Kolarov effort was spooned just wide by an anxious Hennessey, Carlos Tevez produced a moment of true class to swing the game in the Sky Blues’ favour. The Argentinian star picked the ball up midway into the Wolves half and began to advance menacingly. Before they knew it, Wolves had seen three of their men beaten by his weaving run and the ball find the corner of their net. City were on the front foot now, and the Bosnian that everyone had been talking about suddenly took centre stage; picking up the ball from a rapid counter midway inside his own half, before exchanging passes with Tevez, nutmegging a defender and slipping the ball outside the last man for the galloping Yaya Toure to burst onto and sweep past the advancing goalkeeper without breaking his stride. Ronald Zubar showed Wolves were still hungry for the fight with a powerful header that thudded off the top of the crossbar from a corner, but the game appeared to be a formality on 65 minutes, when Pablo Zabaleta’s sumptuous delivery was excellently nodded in off the underside of the crossbar by his prolific compatriot Tevez for 4-1. Mancitti had reckoned without another overly expensive dud costing them a penalty. Joleon Lescott was all over the back of Kevin Doyle; molesting him to the ground and watching the same man bury his spot-kick to reduce the arrears. Christophe Berra made an unforgiveable cock-up later that should have put Wolves to bed; the dozy defender with time to clear back into enemy territory trying in vain to bring the ball down, leading to Yaya Toure picking his pocket, and using those long long legs to power forward free, but this time Hennessey saved one-on-one to keep the fightback a possibility. Ronald Zubar went one better with his next header, guiding a corner exquisitely into the most unguarded area of the goal, with De Jong a fraction too late in attempting to hack it off his goal-line. With five minutes of injury time, the conclusion of the game was manic, with Wayne Hennessey having to make a crucial tackle on the halfway line after advancing way out of his goal, and James Milner rounding Hennessey at the death, only to see his effort slid away from the net by Karl Henry.

Baron Von Grantback looked ever more the demoralised undertaker as his position, under intense scrutiny, became more untenable with an appalling performance against Arsenal, who took it easy on the Hammers, as they could have won by far more than a three goal margin. Theo Walcott and Robin Van Persie looked sharp as a box of knives, and ripped the Hammers defence to ribbons time and again. Wayne Bridge, who was kept out of the Chelsea team by one love cheat, and out of his marriage bed by another, came from Mancitti on typically extravagant wages of reputedly £90k a week. On this form he is worth about 90 pounds a week. West Ham fielded a backline of supposedly some of England’s finest examples of the defensive art. Robert Green, Matthew Upson, Wayne Bridge, and a prospect in any other side: James Tomkins, formed four fifths of the backline, and yet Bridge was culpable in all of the goals, Upson was far from a barrier, Green did very little and Tomkins failed in many vital tackles which led to the goals. Theo Walcott fooled Bridge in the 13^th minute, drilling in a lovely low cross which was sublimely dummied by Nasri, allowing it to run to Van Persie, who sent it into the net like a cruise missile despite the futile attention of Tomkins. Walcott burst onto a long pass off the shoulder of Tomkins later, who had a chance to tackle, but only succeeded in delaying Walcott’s progress. Luckily for the youngster, Green rushed out to narrow the angle and Walcott fluffed his shot. Johann Djorou then proved he would look at home in the Hammers’ defence, by playing a dopey underhit backpass to let in the marauding Carlton Cole, whose shot was well saved by Szczesny, though the ball was returned into the mix, where Zavon Hines somehow fired a glorious chance over the crossbar from six yards. Robin Van Persie went in for the kill again from Nasri’s beautiful pass, but his shot struck the opposite post and came out. Van Persie did make the difference just before half-time, wriggling to the byline, past a non-existent challenge from Upson, and putting in a low cross which Bridge was favourite for, only to allow Walcott to nip round his man and fire in from point-blank range. Carlton Cole ruined another breathtakingly simple chance before the break, when a perfect cross from Freddie Sears was begging to be nodded in, only for the forward to let it hit his shoulder, then Djorou and across goal. West Ham offered next to nothing of note in the second half, and Bridge’s day was complete, when he was suckered into an awful challenge which brought down Walcott. Robin Van Persie rattled in the penalty, and the Hammers misery was exacerbated. Avram tossed his lucky scarf into the crowd, and not many would punt on him still being manager in a week’s time, what with the toxic trio making such an embarrassing spectacle of coveting Martin O'Neill.

Yet another fantastic spectacle involving Blackpool, and West Brom recovered from their six straight defeats in all competitions to snatch a priceless victory at the Hawthorns, helped in no small part by some typically profligate finishing from everyone’s favourite disc jockey: Dudley Junior Campbell; or Dud as his friends call him. After just ninety seconds, Campbell brilliantly dodged a sliding tackle inside the box, only to fire his shot just wide of the post with the goal at his mercy. The big talking point from the Baggies’ line-up was former captain Scott Carson being dropped for one clanger too many, replaced by former Hull goalkeeper Boaz Myhill. He could not do much about David Vaughan’s crisp strike from the edge of the box after a corner fell to him though, and Blackpool took the lead. Peter Odemwingie, who had been having something of a torrid time of late, apparently saw a psychologist in the week, and it worked if this performance was anything to go by. Initially the Nigerian crossed for Chris Brunt to meet on the volley at the back post, only for Stephen Crainey to make a goal-saving block. Crainey later dangerously deflected a cross that the alert Kingson dealt with, but he was beaten coolly by Odemwingie on 37 minutes, after a defence splitting pass from Graham Dorrans found the Tangerine offside trap faulty. The second half had hardly begun when Charlie Adam played a defence-splitter of his own, but DJ Campbell fired just wide of the opposite post, again with the whole goal at his mercy. Jerome Thomas produced some classic wingplay in beating two men and sending in a teasing low cross, which Kingson lazily flung a hand at, only to parry it straight to James Morrison, who netted to put West Brom in the driving seat. Kingson then partially redeemed himself; saving well from Morrison and brilliantly in a one-on-one with Odemwingie, after Charlie Adam had been hustled off the ball by Yousouff Mulumbu. Odemwingie worked more magic to set up Morrison again for an easy chance, but the Scot lost his head and dug his shot over the bar with just Kingson to beat. 80 minutes had elapsed when Blackpool’s boundless vigour paid dividends. Young prospect Matt Phillips was well found lurking on the right-hand side of the Baggies’ area, and he sent in a lovely low cross for Gary Taylor-Fletcher to finish at the back post. ‘Ollie could have been forgiven for celebrating a well won point, but there was a sting in the tail, as West Brom negated their usual passing game for an old-fashioned hoof forward, which Craig Cathcart took his eye off with Odemwingie at his back; a fatal error, as the Nigerian seized on the chance as it bounced and lashed into the net for the winner. There was still time for one last Tangerine surge, but DJ Campbell’s swivelled effort was smothered, as West Brom held out to end their rotten run.

The Merseyside derby that signalled the end of the last Kenny Dalglish era at Liverpool returned, as the Scousers’ returning idol took charge once more at Anfield. Despite two defeats in two, there was mass optimism and emotion from the stands as ‘King Kenny’ sent out his troops once more, almost twenty years to the day since he last did. The early signs were promising, as Fernando Torres turned Sylvain Distin, cut inside Johnny Heitinga and thumped the post, only for Dirk Kuyt to make a hash of the rebound. Just before the half-hour the promise turned to gold, as makeshift left-back Glenn Johnson broke down the left, before cutting back to his favoured foot and crossing for Kuyt to have Howard save twice, before Raul Meireles finally turned the ball in. Fernando Torres sent in a ferocious shot that Tim Howard did well to parry, and Phil Neville did enough to keep the high loose ball away from Meireles. Liverpool came off at half-time with the fans singing of their returning messiah, but the last man to win a league title for Liverpool was not looking so pleased with himself just after half-time, when a corner that shouldn’t have been was headed down and in by Distin at the back post, despite Johnson’s efforts. Liverpool had reason to feel aggrieved at the corner even being awarded as it clearly touched an Everton boot last, and their marking may have been wayward after Daniel Agger was forced off feeling ill at half-time. Their sense of injustice swelled to breaking point five minutes later, after right-back Martin Kelly as clattered in an aerial duel with Victor Anichebe, leading to Leon Osman showing deft touch in weaving round two defenders before rolling the ball into Jermaine Beckford, who let the ball run across his body despite Meireles’ pressure, and fired in. The red half of Merseyside were incensed that Phil Dowd hadn’t stopped play for what looked like a head injury, but Liverpool retrieved the result when a Meireles deep cross was miskicked comically by Martin Skrtel, tempting Tim Howard to come and claim, which he did despite Maxi Rodriguez rushing in front of him, and the Argentine took full advantage of the goalkeeper’s folly; throwing himself down and watching gleefully as Kuyt dispatched the penalty superbly. Three games; one point, but the fans don’t care. Their hero is back.

The Tyne-Wear derby was nothing like as one-sided as earlier in the season, and Sunderland fans were ecstatic that they reclaimed some semblance of pride, after two bad performances in this fixture. Titus Bramble had one of those afternoons when his mind took a vacation, and he let Shola Ameobi through early on, though the striker fired wide. Darren Bent cut inside Fabio Coloccini but struck his shot at Harper, before Coloccini produced a volley at the opposite end which needed diligent post-sentry Kieran Richardson to clear off the line. Harper turned a Malbranque effort wide, and Ameobi headed a corner wastefully over, before Newcastle finally got the breakthrough on 51 minutes. A deep corner was nodded back by Ameobi and off a Sunderland defender, for Kevin Nolan to backheel cheekily into the net. Leon Best then turned the dozy Bramble and fired just wide, but Newcastle still felt it was their day again, until deep into injury time, when a scramble culminated in Phil Bardsley drilling in a great effort which Steve Harper made a complete pig’s ear of, parrying the ball straight out onto Asamoah Gyan, who just comically shrugged at fans as he watched the ball ricochet off his knee and loop into the net for a last-gasp equaliser. The game was followed by the sad news of Darren Bent handing in a transfer request, which seems to demonstrate extreme ingratitude.

The third big Sunday derby saw a third draw, with Villa grateful in the end for James Collins’ equaliser which looked suspiciously like a Liam Ridgewell own goal, though the Birmingham woodwork will need reinforcing after the battering it took from the Villans. The atmosphere was electric at St Andrews, and the game swung one way then the other. Ben Foster proved he is awful with his feet, when he made a fool of himself attempting to turn his way out of a challenge from an encroaching forward, before clearing lamely to Gabriel Agbonlahor, who advanced menacingly and seemed set to score, only to fire his shot way over. If there’s a better crosser in the Premiership than Marc Albrighton right now, then he must be special. The young winger delivered a typically superb stand-up for Agbonlahor to head towards goal, which Carew then flicked onto the top of the crossbar from close range. Former Villa boy Craig Gardner created a fantastic chance which Matt Derbyshire missed with an embarrassing air-kick, while a Ciaran Clark cross-shot thudded agonisingly against the crossbar. James Collins was forced into turning an Alexander Hleb effort off the line, after Stephen Carr had delivered a dangerous cross. David Murphy tried to claim a Brum penalty when he went down suspiciously easily, but Birmingham had their goal just after the break, from what turned out to be a comical free-kick routine. Craig Gardner drove in an appalling free-kick which hardly cleared the ground, but it took one nick off the wall, and David Murphy inadvertently guided it into the path of Roger Johnson, who instinctively stuck out a boot to guide it in. Villa’s response was Ciaran Clark sending in a tantalising cross, which Roger Johnson attempted to chest but actually narrowly avoided handballing and narrowly avoided putting into his own net. At the other end Matt Derbyshire’s thunderous shot was well saved by Friedel, and Kyle Walker launched clear before Gardner arrived. Villa finally got their rewards when another peach of an Albrighton cross saw James Collins swivel to volley goalward. It looked a fraction wide until it nicked off the inside of Liam Ridgewell’s legs and found the net. Substitute Nathan Delfouneso made a big impact, first setting up Stewart Downing for a chance which Foster spread himself to block, then cracking a rocket against the bar via the fingernails of Foster. In the meantime, Richard Dunne stole in at the back post after a corner was not cleared, beat Foster but not a defender patrolling the goal-line. Villa were cursing their luck, but they were almost floored by the ultimate sucker-punch, when in the dying seconds a hoisted free-kick seemed to be landing into a complacent Friedel’s hands, only for beanpole Serb Nikola Zigic to steal in front of him and flick it agonisingly wide of the post. A cracking derby in the Second City.

Chelsea finally strung two Premier League victories together with a victory garnered through two scrappy goals from set-pieces Sam Allardyce would have been proud of. After Ramires had struck the crossbar from a David Hoilett error, Branislav Ivanovic’s lack of concentration let Hoilett in at the other end, with Cech producing a very good save. Didier Drogba, still looking lacklustre, sent in a low bouncing cross into a great area, which strike partner Nicolas Anelka helped onto the crossbar. Drogba then came off second best in a one-on-one, but in the second half Chelsea got the breakthrough. A corner was flicked on by John Terry to find Ivanovic lurking at the back post. The Serb got the ball out of his feet in a flash, bamboozling three covering defenders to poke the ball past Robinson. This seemed to knock the stuffing out of Rovers, and it was no surprise that Chelski sewed the game up on 76 minutes. This time Ivanovic was provider; heading a corner down for Anelka to plunder from close range. Roque Santa Cruz made a cheery return for Rovers, which should bode well as they fight to stay well out of the relegation dogfight under their former coach Steve Keane. Still no news of Big Sam at Inter Milan strangely.

Stoke beat a lightweight Bolton team comfortably at the Britannia. Whether he watched his youtube video or not, Tony Pulis finally decided his team needed the flair of Tunçay from the start, and the Turk responded by delivering the corner which was inadvertently flicked on by Johan Elmander for Danny Higginbotham to bundle in, though replays suggest it was not strong enough to cross the line until Jussi Jaaskelainen knocked it over with his arm. Bolton once again missed the guile of Chung-Yong Lee, who is with South Korea in the Asian Cup, but Stuart Holden did his best to rouse his team-mates; sending a dangerous free-kick in that Begovic parried well. Tunçay then created the second in the second half; sliding in the only man to rival Albrighton in the crossing stakes right now; the in-form Etherington, who was brought down under a rash challenge from Zat Knight. Etherington picked himself up to bury the penalty with some fortune; Jaaskelainen getting a strong hand to it but only pushing onto the post and in; meaning he provided the decisive touch to both Stoke goals. There was a brief late revival from the Trotters, with Begovic called into action from Taylor, and then a superb tip over from Moreno.

Wigan-Fulham was a dead-cert to end a draw, as it always does. And it did. The Latics began with a flourish, with a pacey counter involving Watson and Ronnie Stam culminating in a lovely cross from Stam that Rodallega attacked viciously, only to watch his superb header cannon back off the post. Damien Duff was then put clean through, but dithered and did not look confident; Al-Habsi winning the one-on-one battle. The first half ended tamely, but just before the hour mark Wigan took the lead. After their neat passing game had yielded nothing, a launched kick from Ali Al-Habsi was criminally allowed to bounce by Aaron Hughes, who could only then watch helplessly as Hugo Rodallega kept his head to guide a deft lob over David Stockdale’s head for the opener. An amazing Wigan break, when only N’Zogbia and Rodallega took on four Fulham defenders and almost won but for a skewed volley from the Colombian ensued, and the same two combined for Rodallega to spin and strike the post for the second time in the game. A slack Wigan tendency to allow wins to dissipate into draws returned late on though, when Andy Johnson found his shooting boots again, albeit incredibly fortunately. Clint Dempsey, who had earlier had a potential equaliser disallowed from a superb handball spot by the linesman, sent a cute reverse pass into Johnson’s pass, and the England forward got it out of his feet, but fell over as he shot, deflected it against Gary Caldwell, and almost had it saved by Al-Habsi, but fate conspired to allow the shot to bounce limply over the line for a game saving goal that the injury-plagued forward deserved for his non-stop endeavour. Wigan, however, will be cursing their luck and lack of clinical finishing which once again leaves them on the cusp of relegation.

Until next time….