All change

All change at the bottom as 2011 made its bow. After the public ultimatum to Avram Grant, he has won 2 and drawn 2 of his last 4 West Ham matches, moving the Hammers clear of the bottom three for the first time in yonks. Wolves flattered to deceive with their Anfield victory, and plunged straight back to the bottom, while Fulham once again join them, along with Alex McLeish’s deadly dull Birmingham side.

Mick McCarthy was fuming as all the old familiar failings cost Wolves dearly against the team formerly below them in the table, while Avram must be privately quite smug at managing a team outside the bottom three for the first time in over a year. It started the way it normally does at Upton Park: with Carlton Cole missing a sitter, after George Elokobi had made a dog’s dinner of a clearance and presented the ball to him. Richard Stearman was then called to Wolves’ rescue, brilliantly clearing a Freddie Sears effort off the line. In response, Robert Green saved from first his own defender and then a decent header from Christophe Berra. The first half ended goalless, though it was hard to see how. Wolves don’t score enough goals, and you sensed they were always prone to a howler at the back. So it proved in the 51^st minute, when Frederic Piquionne beat the Wolves offside trap to send in a low cross which Carlton Cole couldn’t miss. Though of course, he managed to, with the most humiliating of air-kicks, which sent the ball behind him to hit the luckless Ronald Zubar, who had come back to track him but only succeeded in inexplicably kneeing the ball past his own goalkeeper. It was hard to see who was more embarrassed about the whole affair, but West Ham were grinning from ear to ear. West Ham nearly sewed the game up but for Wayne Hennessey, who tipped a Matthew Upson header onto the crossbar. Wolves suffered the same fate to deny them an equaliser, when Ebanks-Blake met Foley’s cross powerfully, only for the woodwork to intervene. They were made to pay in the last ten minutes, when Scott Parker fed Tal Ben-Haim on the overlap, and the manager’s son sent in a low cross that was buried by the onrushing Freddie Sears.

Chelsea wallowed in more gloom, after their hubris from a late potential winner backfired on them in stoppage time. With all their big guns back but not firing, and Villa suffering their worst run in a long time, this was a match between two managers feeling the pressure of expectation. Lee Mason decided to be heavy-handed early on, and dished out bookings like late Christmas cards, particularly to Villa, who ended up with a fine-worthy seven players cautioned, to Chelsea’s two. Villa conceded a penalty in the 22^nd minute when James Collins stupidly leapt over the top of Florent Malouda, who gratefully threw himself to the ground. Frank Lampard gobbled up the penalty, and it seemed like this was a routine Chelsea win in the offing. The recalled Richard Dunne was instrumental in thwarting the Chelsea surge, particularly with a brilliantly-timed last ditch tackle on Florent Malouda inside the penalty area. This proved even more valuable when Villa won a penalty of their own five minutes before half-time, when Michael Essien crashed through the back of Nigel Reo-Coker with a sliding challenge. Ashley Young converted, and the game was once more on. Just after half-time, Villa took the lead, to the bewilderment of the home crowd. A superb Stewart Downing stood-up cross with his weaker foot was powered home above Jeffrey Bruma by Emile Heskey for 2-1. But after Didier Drogba had forced home a late equaliser, Chelsea went nuts after Drogba’s effort was pushed away by Friedel, only out to John Terry, who arrived to guide the rebound home with his weaker foot in the last minute. Cue wild celebrations, where Drogba encouraged the throng of delirious players to the Chelsea bench to indulge in an orgy of backslapping and revelry. This was soon exposed though, as a delicious cross from substitute Marc Albrighton was nodded in by the completely unmarked Ciaran Clark for the most unlikely equaliser in stoppage time. Houllier breathes again, Ancelotti scowls.

Sunderland banished the memory of their astonishing home defeat to Blackpool by returning to winning ways at the Stadium of Light; an inevitable victory over a rudderless Blackburn. Danny Wellbeck kicked off the scoring, after Ryan Nelsen had headed Elmohamedy’s cross not far enough away, and then deflected Wellbeck’s effort in via the post. Another superb Elmohamedy delivery was converted by a classic header from Darren Bent, and the game was effectively all over. El-Hadji Diouf embarrassed himself by skying a chance from six yards, while the super-confident Wellbeck clipped the top of the crossbar with a lovely chip. A fabulous Sunderland move ensued when Steed Malbranque sent a devious reverse ball to Kieran Richardson, who sent in a deadly cross that Darren Bent let hit him and go wide when it was easier to score. Another super move saw Jordan Henderson strike the angle of post and bar with a stunning effort, before Blackburn saw to their own demise; being caught cold by a lightning counter attack that found Asamoah Gyan on the edge of the box. The Ghanaian advanced, using the defender as a shield for whipping the ball inside the far post, though reserve goalkeeper Mark Bunn hardly covered himself in glory.

Stoke got back to winning ways at the Britannia with a victory over goal-shy Everton, though they were fortunate not to concede an early penalty when Ryan Shawcross missed the ball and booted Luis Saha in the crown jewels. Matty Etherington has been imperious this season; the fulcrum of Stoke’s attacks even ahead of Rory Delap’s shoulders. Once again his industrious wing play saw him dink a superb cross on Kenwyne Jones’ head, and the Trinidadian did what he always does and planted it into the net. Another excellent headerer; Tim Cahill, unbelievably skewed his header across goal from close range, to the general bemusement of those present. Danny Higginbotham did well to deflect a dangerous Pienaar strike over, and it ended 1-0 to the home side at the break.

The second period saw Stoke kill the game in typical fashion; a long ball was flicked on by Jones, Ricardo Fuller challenged and missed, while Phil Jagielka made a buffoon of himself by scoring an own goal via his own crossbar. There was still time for Jagielka and Distin to challenge each other, leaving Fuller to round the keeper but lose his footing at the crucial moment.

Manchester United came away with a nice New Year’s gift from West Bromwich Albion; winning a game they were fortunate to draw, after Fergie had once again shown a hitherto unseen sense of blind sentimentality by picking Gary Neville. We know the Da Silva twins are a tad error-prone, but Neville should have retired with dignity three years ago. The longer he continues to pretend he is still of Premier League standard, the more times he will be found out and cost United valuable points. That he didn’t in this match was more down to Chris Foy’s inability to spot his ridiculous challenge from behind that wiped out everything but the ball on Graham Dorrans, and Neville was also fortunate to escape after waiting for a bouncing cross to reach him at the far side of the area rather than intercept. The ball was stolen off his toes but to no cost. At the peak of his powers, Neville was a 7/10 performer every week. He might have had the odd 9 and the odd nightmare, but consistency was his watchword as long consistency in his selection was shown. Since his injury-ravaged years, he is down to a 3/10, as he has no pace, few reflexes and does not even appear to use his nous to get him out of trouble like he once could. Against Stoke a few weeks back he should have been red-carded for a challenge so late the crowd had gone home. It seems both Fergie and referees hold some degree of affection towards Red Nev, here appearing in his 400^th Premier League match, but surely this is the season after which he is put out to pasture. United did take the lead after just two minutes, when a decent cross from Patrice Evra was missed at the front post but instinctively nodded home by Wayne Rooney, who still looks a shadow of his former self, but started earning those megabucks when he reappeared to play the final few minutes out with a sore looking injury, as all substitutes had been used. The Baggies were on top for most of the first half, and levelled the game on 14 minutes, when a long ball upfield was headed out under pressure by Nemanja Vidic to the edge of the box, where James Morrison caught it flush and sent it launching into the corner of Kuszczak’s net. The second half saw the injustice of Neville’s penalty escape partially reprieved, when Rio Ferdinand tripped a tricky Jerome Thomas, but Peter Odemwingie, who is suffering a poor patch of form at the moment, scuffed the penalty a yard wide. He was made to pay the ultimate price when Paul Scharner switched off at a corner and allowed substitute Javier Hernandez yards of space to leap in front of the goalkeeper and glance a header into the net. There was still a counter-thrust from Albion when Jerome Thomas again weaved a path through to goal, and left Kuszczak helpless as he passed into the corner. Unfortunately for Thomas, Nemanja Vidic had been astute enough to drop onto the line and cleared his shot comfortably.

Amid a Bolton injury crisis, Liverpool grabbed a vital win to ease the pressure on Roy Hodgson. Maxi Rodriguez made quite an impact early on, having one shot cleared off the line, and a header hitting the top of the crossbar, before Bolton surprisingly took the lead. Fabio Aurelio conceded a free-kick in dangerous territory when he went through the back of Rodrigo Moreno, and the resultant delivery from Matt Taylor was headed in unchallenged by Kevin Davies for a half-time lead. The natives were most certainly restless, but it didn’t take many second half minutes for Liverpool to level the scores. Four minutes to be precise. Lucas had just missed an absolute sitter, but before the fans’ ire was truly vented, Glenn Johnson dinked to David N’Gog, who chested the ball down for Steven Gerrard to coax a magnificent first-time cross over to the lurking Fernando Torres, who buried the equaliser. The fans were getting edgy as time ticked away and chances were missed, but finally the Kop erupted, when Gerrard bent in another awesome delivery, and Rodriguez pressured Elmander into getting a touch past his own goalkeeper, which an offside Joe Cole stabbed in on the line. The fact that Elmander had the final touch made his infringement irrelevant, but some could suggest being offside continually from the original cross was an unfair advantage. When the dust had settled, Liverpool had snatched a win at the death, and Roy was in the mood to build bridges with his somewhat hostile spectatorship.

Mancitti saw off the usual guts and glory attacking performance of Ollie’s Tangerine Army, but not without Joe Hart pulling off a string of fine saves, though Carlos Tevez had what Blackpool fans usually call a ‘DJ Campbell day’; missing a string of chances, a penalty and falling over after rounding the goalkeeper. David Silva also missed a sitter which owed more to the fact that Tevez had played the return pass slightly behind him. City’s winner came from a deflected Adam Johnson strike, but there were many positive aspects once again for Blackpool, particularly another excellent showing from young Matty Phillips, who skinned Kolarov more than once. The future’s bright: the future’s Tangerine.

Birmingham were beaten comprehensively by Arsenal, despite their best efforts to ‘rough them up’. These efforts unfortunately overstepped the mark a little too frequently, particularly Lee Bowyer, and an appalling stamp tackle by Roger Johnson which was almost identical to Martin Taylor’s ankle-shatterer on Eduardo which should have seen red. Lee Bowyer deflected Robin Van Persie’s free-kick past Ben Foster for the opener, but Birmingham were galled when Robin Van Persie got away with heading onto his arm inside the penalty box. Roger Johnson managed to sky an absolute sitter from barely six yards out; just desserts for his earlier assault, while Samir Nasri brilliantly exchanged passes with Cesc Fabregas and used Roger Johnson as a shield to score inside Foster’s near post. Birmingham’s, and Johnson’s, humiliation was complete in the 65^th minute, when Nasri put on his ballet shoes again to tiptoe around the crowded box, sending one defender over before teeing up Fabregas, whose shot was pushed out against first Scott Dann, then Roger Johnson and in for a farcical own goal.

Tottenham-Fulham proved a match in which a moment of ingenuity decided the outcome, with Gareth Bale brilliantly deciding to flick his head to divert a Rafael Van Der Vaart free-kick past Mark Schwarzer and in, minutes before half-time. In the second half Andrew Johnson almost levelled for Fulham, but Michael Dawson kept his head to clear after almost putting the loose ball in his own net, while Aaron Lennon left Jermaine Jenas fuming, as he declined a pass to his unmarked team-mate; instead taking on three players and blazing hopelessly over.

Wigan are far too shot-shy right now, and without Charles N’Zogbia they lack a direct threat. Tom Cleverley was excellent as always, and Rodallega threatened briefly, but the truth is painfully clear: Roberto Martinez needs firepower, and fast. Mauro Boselli can be added to the names of Jason Scotland and Franco Di Santo, as a striker who just cannot deliver. Newcastle left the DW clutching a win, chiefly through Wigan’s own carelessness at the back. Some lovely composed passing out from the back left Ben Watson teeing up Steven Gohouri to volley clear. Unfortunately, the dozy Ivorian decided to attempt to control with no view as to who was around him, and was dispossessed by Joey Barton, who fired across Al-Habsi. The Omanian goalkeeper did well to save but could not hold onto the ball, leading to Peter Lovenkrands striking the post, before Shola Ameobi had the simple chance of putting in an unguarded net. Fabriccio Coloccini and Stephen Taylor both later hit the bar for Newcastle, while Gary Caldwell also struck the bar for Wigan, but the most eye-catching moments came from unsavoury moments of Newcastle cheating. Stephen Taylor’s play-acting when he handles the ball is getting tiresome now, but it didn’t stop him glancing at the ref before clutching his ribs and pretending to be winded, when the whole ground saw the ball strike his arm. This was small potatoes though compared to Chekh Tiote’s painfully embarrassing and shameful simulation. The bullish Ivorian had had a fine game, but sullied it when he crashed over on the touchline from nothing in particular, and attempted to hide the ball. When Gary Caldwell attempted to extract it from his grasp, Tiote responded by ridiculously screaming and clutching his face; rolling around for effect. If Howard Webb had seen the whole incident he should have shown a red card to complete Tiote’s shame, but as it was nobody really paid any attention to the very silly boy. Wigan are back in the relegation zone, and Martinez needs to provoke some goals out of his side.